Photo: To Catch a Thief
Photo: To Catch a Thief

New terror emerges on Australia’s surf-rich beaches as posh European-style cabanas implicated in potential deaths!

LOOK OUT!

Australia is a great land of wonder, as anyone who has had the privilege of visiting knows. From the arts and culture of Melbourne to the meat pies of Nyngan, Sydney’s iconic opera house to Kirra’s reeling tubes, it might just be the greatest country on earth… but a dark menace lurks.

Oh you’ve read of the bull sharks, that just ate a beautiful dolphin very near where famous surf journalist Nick Carroll lives and in front of families and lifesavers.

Horrible.

But worse?

Posh European-like beach cabanas.

According to the Noosa Heads Surf Life Saving Club president Ross Fisher beach cabanas have become an absolute must-have accessory in the past few years, exploding in popularity.

“They’ve become a phenomena,” he told Australia’s ABC News. “People found their patch of sand, they had their family under the cabana, they had sun shade, shelter from the rain if it rains.”

Except herein lies the mess. While posh and colorful, the cabanas block the view of lifesavers

“We have to keep moving the patrol down,” Fisher continued, in order to find open patches of view. “You’re trying to keep the flags going down, which we have to do anyway, but you have to be smart about it.”

Surf Life Saving Queensland Gold Coast coordinator Nathan Fife encouraged beachgoers to use common sense when setting up their Italianate roofs. “Make sure there is pathways, make sure they [lifesavers] can still see the water and see their flagged areas, he said. “They’re there to make sure everyone is safe at the beach. If they can’t do their job, it’s not good for anyone.”

Does the beach cabana plague make you think twice about planning your next surf trip to the Lucky Country or are you more devil may care in your approach to life?

Sipping mimosas underneath a Louis Vuitton four-sided umbrella.

Buy here.

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Jim Fu
Jim Fu
3 years ago

After catching & riding a couple of beautiful waves at Rainmount which allowed my my new knees to perform some power trimming, I walked through these bastards, with 7’6″ Ryan hybrid black Barron, Jeremy Byles style, sideways on my head singing “Banananana…..” !

samwaters
samwaters
3 years ago

Spam Masubi— no ka oi…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

ordering board shorts online: choose hemisphere, length, color, size, texture, pockets, cup size?

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
3 years ago

Wife: ‘Those cabanas look pretty go….’
Me interrupting: ‘No’

Board Barnacle
Board Barnacle
3 years ago

Noosa Heads is full of rich wankers anyway so a few less won’t hurt.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago

Makes wanking more discreet but perving harder. Double edged.

Tom
Tom
3 years ago

They could always turn the cabana tent cities into homes for the dirty unvaccinated.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
3 years ago

Will Kelly buy these beach Cabana’s in bulk and place them strategically to throw shade on his combatants ?

Will people park their Cabana’s in front of Kelly’s house during the Pipe comp to be the ones throwing the shade ?

Will Joey Turps use the word ‘schadenfreude’ during a heat, and would he be the type to laugh at other people’s misfortune ?

THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS THAT NEED TO BE ANSWERED !

Gadoot
Gadoot
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Kelly will buy them to pile up in front of his eroding north shore house.

astro
astro
3 years ago

Another of the many benefits that comes with ownership.

Antipodes
Antipodes
3 years ago

The cabana plague is pretty funny in Sydney. Busy beaches look like joyous UN refugee camps with hundreds of blue and white striped tents. We’re probably due some chaos soon when the beach camps get hit with an unforeseen southerly buster.

longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
3 years ago

XXXX

Look Fanning
Look Fanning
3 years ago

Blocking the view not the only problem. Last summer there was a death by cabana on a beach in Sweden when a gust of decided to a spear a woman in the chest with one of those.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
3 years ago
Reply to  Look Fanning

Do you know what brand it was? Trying to narrow down my selection.

Look Fanning
Look Fanning
3 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

Maybe Hurley

Otto
Otto
3 years ago

Cope, a….cope, a cabana…

https://youtu.be/XDR247fmhnc

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago

Wait til e-cabanas come around…

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
3 years ago
Reply to  Stick man

Will they be protected by a blockchain fence?

Jrilla
Jrilla
3 years ago

I’ve no idea what a cabana is. Can you smoke it? If not I’m not interested. I’d previously made the mistake of believing a giant reefer was getting built near me. I was all for it, the more reefer the better – even if people were calling it an artificial reefer. But when I turned up for a proper good blaze there was nothing but sandbags. I was most confused and disappointed, don’t want to make the same mistake again.

Otto
Otto
3 years ago

High Fife, ya dork

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Salt Fyfe

astro
astro
3 years ago

An astro’s KiwiCabana™️ is what you need for your family fun day sur La plage !
Constructed of 100% natural, organic materials and therefore green af.
Designed to withstand local winds of half a hundred knots and shelter you safely from deadly ozone holes.
Your choice of Whale or Dolphin.
Coming Soon – Seal !

Eesha Williams
Eesha Williams
3 years ago
Reply to  astro

There are two great video interviews now on the Surfline home page. Brock Little (RIP) and Bruce Irons. In a different interview, Little told Matt Warshaw, “People ask me what I do for a living, and I do nothing. I pick up a check in the mail and go surfing.”


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