"I believe there are still many tourists and expatriates who care about and love culture, customs, people and this island who don't want rogue tourists to be on this island."

Video showing Bali tourist becoming violent after being refused permission to ride his motorcycle through a Hindu purification ceremony shakes island paradise to its core!

"If tourists don’t respect Bali and its culture and ceremonies they don’t have a right to stay there. Seeing this makes me feel ashamed."

If you know Bali, you’re probs aware that it’s Nyepi tomoz, the day of silence where for twenty four hours there’s no lights, no working, the faithful don’t eat or talk, and when even tourists aren’t allowed onto the beaches or streets.

Traditional security patrols called Pecalang roam the joint policing the restrictions.

Depending upon your view of such things, it’s either an insight into an exotic religion or a drag upon your vacation that forces you to your hotel room couch for a day-nighter on Netflix.

A few days before Nyepi is the Melasti ritual a purification ritual which takes place near the ocean.

And it’s here we find a tourist or “bule” as they call ‘em in Bali, similar to haole or whitey, who lights up after his girlfriend is pushed back by the Pecalang after the pair were apparently refused permission to ride through the ritual and get to pretty Padang Padang (aka Labuan Sait) beach.


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The Google translate is a little rough, but goes something like this:

Bali really depends on tourism, but do we have to be silent about their treatment of people who don’t respect BALI?Balinese hospitality is utilized right. Maybe because we often say “it’s okay sir (with big smile)”.

I believe there are still many tourists and expatriates who care about and love culture, customs, people and this island who don’t want rogue tourists.

Bali will always be kind if you do the same.

I saw yesterday’s incident at Labuan Sait myself. While the Pecatu people are holding a Melasti event and are getting ready to return to the village, the Pecalang temporarily stopped traffic from the direction of Suluban.

When everyone stopped there was a couple of arrogant foreigners riding their motorbike (small motorcycle syndrome) wanting to break through the preparations with the excuse of being in a hurry.

The Pecalang has explained to them to take a shortcut if they are in a hurry, but the foreigner is still insistent.

The female came down and forced her to pass. Because the woman was very talkative, the pecalang touched her to get back on her motorcycle, but the male Caucasian was emotional and wanted to hit the Pecalang.

Fortunately, there are many pecalang colleagues and they could be stopped. The male Caucasians shouted, “I live in Bali for two years and I respect Bali but clearly you don’t understand anything.”

The tourist found very few allies amid the comments, which included the WCT rookie Rio Wada.

This bule should be deported and never be allowed back in Bali again.

If he were this rude to a Muslim religious ceremony in Jakarta he would be through in Jail for a long time! Lucky he’s in Bali.

If tourists don’t respect Bali and its culture and ceremonies they don’t have a right to stay there.  Seeing this makes me feel ashamed. Unbelievable this motorcycle idiot. I love Bali. I love the culture the people and respect their island and rules.

Some People around the world bring arrogance and ego. It doesnt fit Balinese. Because in Bali we learn patience and kindness, unlike the rest of the world uses aggression. Please go to Bali to learn about life and the true meaning of kindness.

And so on across three hundred-ish responses.

It’s further ammo, if more munitions were necessary, for Indonesia’s new hard line towards tourists.

Five days ago, Bali’s governor asked the federal government to ban tourists riding scooters and motorbikes as well as revoking visas for Russians and Ukrainians. 

Three months before that, Indonesia introduced puritanical sex laws that included year-long jail terms if an unmarried person’s sexual energy became such you had no choice but to come, full blast, into a woman, man or beast.

Anyway, how about you?

Would you take on the religious cops ’cause you and your gal couldn’t get to a particular strip of sand? Or smile and swing your bike around?

Guillermo Satt (pictured) with nemeses. Photo: Monster Energy
Guillermo Satt (pictured) with nemeses. Photo: Monster Energy

Chilean surfer callously sacrificed by World Surf League describes devastating pain of unilateral Yankee imperialism!

Equality? Inclusion?

Erik Logan and Jessi Miley-Dyer, man. The twin World Surf League chiefs (executives and sport) make a big show out of equality and inclusion, heading to conferences, crowning themselves on social media, press releasing and generally carrying on, exclusively, about both equality and inclusion.


That person happens to be Bethany Hamilton.

Or Chilean.

But you’ve read the story, from one week ago, of how, without warning, the World Surf League ripped a qualifying spot away from the South America region one day before the Praia Mole contest. A call that came straight from Santa Monica, as opposed to local leadership. Eight surfers were supposed to punch their ticket to the big dance.

Only seven were allowed.

So how does that eighth man feel about having his card pulled, without warning, at the last second and against the World Surf League’s own rules?

Surf Place Peru snagged an exclusive interview with Chile’s Guillermo Satt and let us dip our ear.

When did you find out that there would be 7 surfers classified instead of 8?

We found out that it was going to be 7 spots the day before the Praia Mole competition started from a message they sent to the WhatsApp group of the competitors where they usually notify us of the heats and schedules. They told us that the 8th was going to be awarded to Matheus Herdy due to a wild card due to injury… so we agreed to go to a meeting the next day and have them explain to us why they were doing that to us when they had told us all year that there would be 8 spots as it was also established in the rules.

What was your opinion and that of the other competitors?

We compete year after year in a circuit in which there were already few places (only 8) for a region that has a high level (read: Brazil) and now they give one of those places to a person who was injured. But that’s not the issue, the issue is that they take a position from us when something else was said throughout the year.

We understand that this comes from the WSL International. What is WSL South America doing about it? Are they helping you?

I understand that they are having meetings to solve this because they never told us, what’s more, they sent emails all year long and published that the cut was up to 8th place.

How do you feel about the whole situation?

I feel frustrated, fighting for a spot within those 8 is super difficult, being there every year putting in a financial, mental, sporting effort, training, surfing… there are many expenses involved. It is super unfair, super frustrating, nothing is clear about the WSL and the ones who pay are the athletes due to an error in their system. Now this is out of the rules because nothing said that one of those 8 was going to be a wildcard and it didn’t appear anywhere in the rules.

The frustration making perfect sense.

Mr. Logan? Ms. Miley-Dyer? Do the right thing. Fire one of yourselves for the mishap and give Satt his spot.

More as the story develops.

Slater (pictured) manifesting. Photo: WSL
Slater (pictured) manifesting. Photo: WSL

Surf fans bite nails down to nubs as living legend Kelly Slater hovers just below the dreaded cut line heading into Bells Beach!

But a ray of hope?

The World Surf League’s 2023 Championship Tour is three events in and what are the storylines grabbing you by the throat, floating through your dreams, or nightmares, during the sleepy hours? The dominance of the young guns like Jack Robinson, Joao Chianca, Griffin Colapinto during the first third? The fact that only one Yeti cooler has been released by Santa Monica? The who’s who club existing below the dreaded mid-season cut line?

Ahhh that’s what it is for me.

The ultimate surfer Zeke Lau, Olympic silver medalist Kanoa Igarashi, onetime-prodigy Kolohe Andino and living legend Kelly Slater all in much danger of being relegated with just two events to prove their mettle.


Lau is almost certainly done for. Andino in more danger than he’s ever been in for a decade. Igarashi and Slater right there, so close yet still so far.

And what will surf fans do in the absence of the man who has utterly dominated the scene for thirty-odd years? Easy to feel that nothing will change but how does anyone know? What if competitive professional surfing implodes once Slater is pushed out?

There might be one ray of light, though. The Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach is next, on the calendar, and did you know that Kelly Slater is the winningest ever surfer there, tied with Mick Fanning?

It is true.

The greatest of all-time won in 1994, 2006, 2008 and 2010.

But do you think he will dig deep and, at least, claw out of the round of 32?

It’s going to take a quarterfinal appearance to create real relief but winning at least three heats would be something.

Light a candle, please.

Matt Picarelli (pictured) suffering. Photo: gofundme
Matt Picarelli (pictured) suffering. Photo: gofundme

Surfer maliciously violated by shark plagued with lurid “mature audiences only” nightmares in aftermath!

Wildly rude.

None of us here, no not one, would actually choose to be attacked by a shark whilst surfing but the aftermath, once flesh and bone were healed, might be cool-ish. Imagine being at a party, word spreading that you had been nibbled by a sea monster and survived to tell the tale. That you still surf and are so brave and handsome and dashing. The best of humanity. The sort of tough that history has mostly forgotten.

Well, apparently it is not all that it is cracked up to be, or at least according to recent victim Matt Picarelli.

The 36-year-old Floridian was enjoying a surf at Florida’s Pepper Park Beach on March 12th when all hell broke loose.

“It was a big animal next to me coming towards me and then, once it bit me, it took a chomp out of my foot and it just immediately left and just flew away, like so quick,” Picarelli told local WPTV. “Everything happening so quickly, it didn’t feel real at all. It felt very surreal.”

He described the sensation as “a car hitting me with a machete blade at the end of it.”

Picarelli managed to make it to the beach where bystanders gave him water and kept pressure on the wound before a friend drove him to a local hospital.

“Fifty stitches, broken tendon, chipped the bone. Yeah, it was – didn’t look good,” he added.

But the worse part? Maybe not pain or upcoming rehabilitation, no, but rather lurid, horrifying dreams.

“Every night, I’ve been having nightmares about it,” the handsome brunette continued. “I’m having sharks, whether I’m in the water or even in a room, coming towards me and biting my leg, biting my arm, biting my side, biting something, and attacking me.”

The biting “something” particularly ominous.

Horribly rude even.

Picarelli, though, displaying the aforementioned almost forgotten tough vows to return to the waters, saying, “I’ve surfed my entire life. I love the ocean. So, I don’t see myself not going back in after this.”


Help him on his way here.

Tom Sandoval (pictured) with another worrier. Photo: Vanderpump Rules.
Tom Sandoval (pictured) with another worrier. Photo: Vanderpump Rules.

Tom Sandoval, mustachioed rake at heart of Vanderpump Rules cheating scandal, admits to worrying about potential “obsession” with surfing in just-uncovered interview!

Tea leaves.

Days ago, it was revealed here that Mr. Pipeline may have been at the center of the scandal currently rocking Hollywood. Oh, all financial institutions may be imminently collapsing, World War III is quickly heating up but headlines have only had room for Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix and their exploded relationship.

Both stars of the Bravo reality program Vanderpump Rules, the two had been dating for nine-ish years before Madix found naughty FaceTime videos on Sandoval’s phone featuring another Vanderpump Rules castmate, Raquel Leviss, and all hell broke loose.

While Sandoval, who I think fronts a cover band named Tom Sandoval and the Most Extras, apologized via Instagram, he and Leviss continued to wear the Lightning Bolt surfboard logo as symbols to each other.

Well, new information has come to light that the man responsible for “Scandoval” has long worried about a potential obsession with surfing.

Per a just-uncovered five-year-old Bravo interview, Tom declares, “I just know that if I started planning a wedding (to Madix), it would consume my whole life for like 2 years. I’d want like the ‘November Rain’ situation,” he said. “I’d want my train to be just as long as Ariana’s, so it’s almost like I’d rather not even bother. It’s like, I love snowboarding and people are like, ‘You should try surfing.’ And I’m like, ‘I could see myself getting too obsessed with it, so I’m not going to start.”


Now, I see your eyes rolling. The thought “what does this have to do with anything” flitting across your lobes. But you should be thanking me. This “Scandoval” is, truly, the only thing being covered in the world right now and I have both made you aware of it and taught you about its reason, the main characters etc.

You can thank me when you head to the bank tomorrow, find zero dollars in there and are forced to strike up a conversation with the manager who will undoubtedly ask, “Team Sandoval or Team Ariana?”

You’re welcome.

Though while you’re here. Cover bands. Yay or nay?