Kelly Slater for Syria, anyone?
The 2020 Olympic Games, which just so happened to take place in 2021, marked surfing’s grand five ring debut. Oh host Japan is one of the finer countries on earth and if you have never been, I highly recommend, though maybe leave the surfboard at home. While the mountains horde powder like vintage Elton John, the beaches are gorgeously inconsistent, wave-wise. Brazil’s Italo Ferreira and Hawaii’s Carissa Moore, thus, won gold in gutless knee-high dribblers.
Paris 2024, however, will be played at the Place of Broken Skulls.
Teahupo’o.
And glory be, though which surfers shall have the opportunity to huck over ledge and into legend? As you know, the top two surfers from each nation on the World Surf League’s Championship Tour will be selected. Currently that means Jackie Robinson + Ethan Ewing for Australia, Filipe Toledo + Joao Chianca for Brazil, Griffin Colapinto + John John Florence for the United States, Jordy Smith + Matt McGillivray for South Africa.
Now, of course, that will all change and maybe has changed already. As you know, Toledo lost yesterday in heavy beachbreak, “heavy” being his great chink, but image he does qualify and is forced to not paddle for waves, due sheer terror, while the world watches.
Do you think the small wave maestro knows he’s afraid or do you think he chooses to believe the various excuses that are floated?
Interesting question.
Far down the list for Team America is one Kelly Slater, which leads us directly to the just-announced International Surfing Games 2024, which will take place February 22nd through March 2nd in Puerto Rico at the twin peaks El Pico and Rastrial. Described as “thick” and the “perfect proving ground for Tahiti,” the competition will decide 12 other surfers who will, forthwith, stamp their ticket to Papeete.
Slater.
There is little chance he will make the cut for his home country via the WSL but beefy barrels suit his style and imagine he does the inspirational thing and competes for Syria.
The Middle Eastern country, devastated by civil war and recent earthquake, sure could use the fairy tale and what better way for Slater, who happens to be Syrian, to finish off an illustrious career.
I have spent much time in Syria and can speak to wonder. From the oldest continually inhabited city on earth to fine cuisine to warm people, Syria is a gem and worth Slater’s effort.
But will he give it?
A rare win-win, if we’re all being honest.
Can this sort of thing be crowd funded?
More as the story develops.
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Kelly big proponent of chemical weapons? Maybe we could package his Covid vaccine in tear-gas?
American Voices (from The Onion):
The Syrian government will now allow women to go topless at the city’s public swimming pools,
like men, following a discrimination complaint by a woman who was thrown out of an open-air pool for sunbathing topless. What do you think?
“I just hope this leads to more body part-specific equality around the world.”
Nadia Cassettari, Tanning Bed Technician
“But open air provides terrible breast support.”
Theodore Verrijssen, Weight Estimator
“But what will the children think if they see a woman enjoying basic bodily autonomy?”
Jayden Zeballos, Capsaicin Tester
“Give Kelly an inch of Chumbawanga wiggle-room and he will see to it that a wave pool gets built so he and the victimized topless woman can train for the Syrian surf team.”
Dane’s, Concrete & Excavation Engineer for Nat’l Association of Surf Pools
Dammit,
Abortions are so Hot right now
thelma, louise, pretty woman. wear more red/
al-Assad don’t surf!
but his fam shack is a cheap storage spot…store & rent surfboards….
Brazzos be nuts to not put Gabs and italo there – Gabs especially – rest be injured?
All gays should have a visit!
Syria has a lot of oil, and is very deep in security opportunities.
In celebration of ChatGpt and all learning algs everywhere, I thought Id repost this from this ams live thread
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Pretty sure the alg was trying to describe the surf which was a bloody mess and so was bang-on with its interpretation.
Nah, that was it live transcribing Kaipo.
First time Kaipos ever been right in the booth.
Alg ftw
Great call by the ISA to hit PR. A tip for young players, be sure to head to Miami for a bender upon your departure.
Except, that’s a tough place to schedule surf/contest.
Yep. 80% odds it will be flat, 15% something rideable, 5% firing. You can’t script this…
Gator bowl…started a kissin booth at the Last Chance Saloon/hotel…or was that the Rose Bowl, or the Fiesta Bowl? The Long Drive Home. Grand Canyon was a like!
Thats great but what about abortion access, hmmm.
Syriasly?