"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore." Photo: World Surf League
"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore." Photo: World Surf League

Economic anthropologists marvel as ticket prices for upcoming Surf Ranch Pro slashed by over 80% from inaugural run five years ago!

THE MOMENTUM IS REAL.

We live in wild times, this much is absolutely certain, what with ex-Presidents becoming indicated and/or indicted, staunchly unaligned Scandinavian countries lining up to join NATO, banks collapsing and inflation eating savings’ accounts like a hungry hungry hippo.

Yes, money around the world is worth less and less, able to buy fewer and fewer items for more and more dollars, pesos, lbs, euros, etc.

Less and less, fewer and fewer for more and more outside of the magical wooden gates surrounding Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch in Lemoore, California, that is, for there an economic miracle has occurred.

The first Surf Ranch Pro, you will certainly recall, kicked off in 2018. It was summer, if I recall. Gas cost around $2.50 a gallon, a loaf of bread enjoyed for $1.29, a shave and a haircut for two bits and the aforementioned Surf Ranch Pro could be taken in all weekend for $199 per person.

A smashing deal considering the amount of live professional surfing, music, Michelob Ultra that was on hand.

Alas, simpler times. Some might argue better.

But we can’t live in the past, no, we must play the hand that Jerome Powell, and global financial crises, have dealt us. Gas soaring to nearly $5.00 a gallon, bread touching that mark too (organic), shaves and haircuts both sacrificed so the children can eat but the Surf Ranch Pro?

Well, the Surf Ranch Pro 2023 weekend pass runs a mind-meltingly low $39.00 for adults, $19.50 for Groms.

An over 80% discount from five years ago.

A financial miracle.

Economic anthropologists are certainly studying this unicorn especially in light of the wild, unprecedented growth of professional surfing. “Record breaking revenue” through the roof, vectors out of control. Is the World Surf League providing such low low prices as a salve for weary masses? Some other kindhearted reason?

THE MOMENTUM IS REAL.

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Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
3 years ago

Great artists, all of them! Never saw Buck live and that is a regret.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
3 years ago

Don Fulano Reposado goes well with shrooms

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

I’d give up my left arm and 1/2 a german leg to even get a whiff of dat, Dat!

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
3 years ago

Are they charging $39 or paying $39? Hard pass either way

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
3 years ago

Spot on and I cannot add anything else to this perfect post!

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
3 years ago

Sometimes I forget I’m on BG so I’ll try to never be serious again. Unless it involves a critique of judged surfing events and Elo.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
3 years ago

Great song, love Buck and Dwight! Was lucky enough to catch Dwight at the Roxy in spring of ’19

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
3 years ago

I now have the visual and am all in! Especially if they show a promo video of Elo frolicking on a inflatable horse in a Lemoore pasture. But can we mix sipping tequila with the shrooms in the VIP section?

Eesha Williams
Eesha Williams
3 years ago

Good article.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
3 years ago

Pro surfing hit its height in the middle 80”s

Came back late 90”s with rabbit dream tour and is now a joke.

I do agree it’s possible it’s relevant again but there are just so many ways to be a legitimate word surfing champ now it’s a diluted crown.

I’m interested in who wins gold at the Olympics and view the wsl competition as just a form guide

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
3 years ago

Cow tipping is an underrated sport

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
3 years ago

You couldn’t pay me to attend any wsl event much less the pool contest

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
3 years ago

I’m actually surprised more WSL surf fans are not paying to attend , I mean nearly every ex pro ledgend including Fred Hemmings Jerry Lopez and Tom Cutran, Kanga MR , Rabbit etc and highly regarded surf journalists such as Nic Carroll have surfed it or written high praise of the joint , so do we on Bgriter have it wrong ? Surely it must be amazing given all the support at the opening.

Mapski
Mapski
3 years ago

Now requiring a hall pass from the Northside/Westside/Southside Bakers or Westside/Eastside Crips.

Tom
Tom
3 years ago

Is the WSL rolling out Dylan to attend? Will Kelly allow Dylan in or Bud to be served?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
3 years ago

You’re posting on the wrong page again.

Rich Marx
Rich Marx
3 years ago

Yesterday Rizal posted video of Slater in Bali. Is he ditching Bells?

Otto
Otto
3 years ago

Sounds like they attended a Clinton Cash Seminar.

Rocks local
Rocks local
3 years ago

There should be a wave pool tour of its own … it’s a different beast than surfing in the ocean, let it stand alone. Kind of like difference b/w ramp and street skating. Have a tour that’s just barreling reef breaks and a different tour that’s wave pools and Trestles. And build more pools so I can enjoy my in between set lulls and salt water in peace.

Barrelled
Barrelled
3 years ago
Reply to  Rocks local

Go to Waco Surf someday. The place is pretty epic but the surfing is something to behold. There is a whole crew of people there that have never surfed in the ocean and you can tell. They rip at the place but the style and method is pretty weird. Very flicky, not much flow, no style but it works there.

Rocks local
Rocks local
3 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Went there last year. Agree re style … but thought wave/experience was actually pretty fun. Liked the 9 people / 3 wave set rotation. Although took me a second to get used to the takeoff with the way the wave burps up out of nowhere. Prefer the ocean, but happy to catch a few there now and again.

Eesha Williams
Eesha Williams
3 years ago
Reply to  Rocks local

Yes and charge to watch it online — $199 per hour. A bargain.

samwaters
samwaters
3 years ago

I wouldn’t even go if the tickets were free.

Mapski
Mapski
3 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

Where do you go, Sam?

Com Turren
Com Turren
3 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

You might if you lived in Lemoore. Not really a lot going on there, to put it euphemistically.


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