The accused, flanked by strike force detectives, and wearing a t-shirt with a word I can't decipher (can you?), heads to the station to help with enquiries etc.

Woman charged with astonishing 749 counts of stealing $1.5 million from two-time world surfing champion Tyler Wright and brothers Owen and Mikey faces court for first time!

Accountant alleged to've invested $1.2 in gambling projects while "wasting" the remaining three-hundred gees.

The accountant charged with 749 counts of dishonestly obtaining financial advantage by deception totalling more than $1.5 million from Tyler Wright and brothers Owen and Mikey has faced court for the first time.

Shane Maree Hatton, fifty-three, a family friend of the Wrights, although one must now presume that friendship has become somewhat strained, was a bookkeeper for the Wright’s plumbing biz.

When the kids started to rake in the sponsor cash, Hatton took on their finances, too.

Hatton’s layer did not enter pleas to the 749 charges and she’ll return to court on June 21.

World champ Tyler was celebrating her twenty-seventh birthday when she learned Strike Force Strathwallen, which was formed to investigate the case at the behest of Tyler’s manager Nick Fordham, had raided the svelte fashion-forward blonde.

In one of the greatest press releases ever issued, and which still delights a month or so later, police alleged Hatton spent $1.2 mill on gambling and poker machines “while the rest of it was wasted.”

One must presume the cop had tongue planted in cheek, of course, for it echoes perfectly the Irish soccer superhero George Best’s wonderful quote “I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”

Bookkeepers, accountants, whatever you want to call ‘em, are notorious for sticking their fingers in the honey pot, although their lifespans can be shortened considerably depending on the victims.

One man who ripped off Andy and Bruce Irons for a mill, as well as another thirty or so people for a total of fifty-mill, ended up at the bottom of a canyon after a mysterious car accident.

“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy,” Andy told me at the time.

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Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
5 years ago

Does Shane Maree Hatton drive a Maserati by chance?

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago

Fair cop on 749 of them your Honour, but charge #359 is a total stitch up – I shall work tirelessly to clear my name

Willy
Willy
5 years ago

Clay Marzo’s money was also creatively bookkeeped.

kooks_who_rip
kooks_who_rip
5 years ago
Reply to  Willy

as was Kalani Robb’s back in the day

Ernest Hemingway
Ernest Hemingway
5 years ago

“dishonestly obtaining financial advantage by deception”

Is this not the objective of every BG headline?

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Did she perhaps confuse ‘book keeping’ with ‘book making’?

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
5 years ago

In a convoluted way, the Wrights could be proud they’ve donated so much to the local community, knowing how much the local clubs give back. Or not.

Chuck Dukowski
Chuck Dukowski
5 years ago

See what happens when you don’t judge a book by it’s cover…

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
5 years ago

Eats, roots and leaves or eats roots and leaves etc.

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago

kill, not mercy
Kill not, mercy

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Alleged…
I’ll double down on my comment from the last time this featured.
The Wrights don’t exactly come across as the sharpest tools in the shed, and they quite possibly allowed her to legitimately take the monies for services rendered without realising what they’d signed, and the only reason it got exposed is because her manager is pissed off he didn’t get a big enough cut.

As far as the Irons brothers go, FUCK I’m sick of hearing about their crap, it’s about time they stopped being touted (especially by the wOsl and that dickhead company billabong at the Tahiti and Hawaii comps) as something more than a pair of druggy fuckups who used to surf well.
Presumably Andy was talking about his prematurely dead self when he said, …”couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy”…

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Rough day on the farm?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Hahaha not at all
Been a beauty really, and just giving my honest opinion about this article.
Especially about that Andy thing, it’s been well proven that both he and the guy who stole his and many others money didn’t come to a foul end by anyone elses hands but their own…

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

You have a farm?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Yes
I grow beef, and beer…

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

while ever there are people like me around, people like you will always have employment.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Don’t those two combined also result in an Airbnb?

astro
astro
5 years ago

Airbnb is an offshoot bonus from the farm cottage for those who raise alpacas.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

And that all the extra flatulence could lift a BG sponsored hot air balloon for Caio to travel between contests…

c4
c4
5 years ago

City folk will pay good money to shovel cow shit for a weekend. It’s an authentic experience.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Remembering the first time I heard of city folk being invited to play cowboys for a weekend. A bunch of them would go out and drove a herd of cattle from one place to another while paying for the pleasure of riding a horse and eating a watery stew around a campfire. The ‘authentic’ experience was heightened by the 4 days of complaints about a sore arse from sitting in a saddle all day.

Tom
Tom
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

1.5 at 749 counts is about 2000 a pop – easy enough to hide as “services rendered” – you could be Wright!!

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
5 years ago

She stole $1.5 million and didn’t think to buy some shirts without holes?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
5 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

I think fashion forward.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

She spent it all on Hungry Jack’s super stunner meals. Look at the size of the cunt.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago

the holes are from wiping greasy fingers on the shirt. hard to count 50’s with chicken grease and mayo on em.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago

A former world champ
Stole a CD from my car
Good taste in music

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Oh you must name the thief.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago

Oh I can’t do that!
But he was quite light fingered
As a little kid

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Was it How it Works and Plastic Skies by Bodyjar?

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago

(I’m) Stranded – The Saints
Ironic cause I gave him
A lift home the prick

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I remember this story. Very strange

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago

Hang on, does that mean
We know each other or you
Know the petty thief?

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Dunno but it’s eerily familiar. I did have the CD wrong though. I’ve either got early signs of dementia. Or more likely, this cunt has nicked more than one CD.

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Gold!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

My guess was The Fauves Future Spa.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

The Fauves played at the presentation of the Asian Aussie Rules Championships in Bangkok one year. You’d never guess it, but for a band with a name derived from an art movement, they were a bit pretentious about whether or not bass guitars should be played with pick or fingers.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

Ha, they ponder many a thing. Love em.

c4
c4
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Either Parko or Fanning, no CD,s in the eighties.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Occy?

c4
c4
5 years ago

I’m wrong CD players came out in 1982. Occy was a little punk in 1982.

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Was it Kelly? Even if it wasn’t, start spreading the rumor that it was. Maybe you can be the focus of one of his IG meltdowns, just for laughs.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

Kelly’s committed
Numerous musical crimes
More heinous than this

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Maybe Andy stole Bruce’s gear?

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

“Bookkeepers, accountants, whatever you want to call ‘em, are notorious for sticking their fingers in the honey pot,”
How many? (5)?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

How many fingers or how many accountants with fingers in pot?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

I’m very surprised to see her not wearing Rip Curl or Quicksilver.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

But, still, the important question remains unanswered, what is the word on her tee? Have googled every obvious configuration etc.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

I feel the answer could be found in the Women’s department at Target.

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

that not women size…

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago
Reply to  toofattosurf

Have you seen the women down here? There are some fucken big lasses lumbering around town.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

It’s indigenous for fuk off whitey
Loyal till the end

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
5 years ago

I think it says “Pima Ice” which seems to be some sort of knitting or yarn.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

I thought “ice pie” then found a stray “m”.. it does look like the kind of shirt you’d see on a pokey fiend at any given club, charin’ a durry and sinking schooners.
What is it with the Wrights?!

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago

Piaci mi. It means “shit in me” in Italian. Very erotic brand.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago

LOL I really wanted to believe you. After using Google Translate, it stated “I like you.” But I like yours better!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago

It’s “Mi Piace”
The Italiano phrase
Meaning, “I like it”

And in this sad case
“It” is someone else’s coin
And fast food as well

Preston
Preston
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I believe we have a winner. There’s even a restaurant in Pasadena with the same name.

Wilbur
Wilbur
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Ha, I guessed Pimi Ace.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

She may have been a glutton for MANY things

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Paige Alms ?

Mapski
Mapski
5 years ago

Miami Spice. Mangled.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Didn’t know that those companies ran shirt sizes for women of her ‘size’.


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