Slater's nostrils were hairy with the heat to kill!

Fifty-one-year-old Kelly Slater shocks surf fans beating world #1 and avoiding executioner’s guillotine at Margaret River Pro, “I committed my life to this, all of this”

“Slater is taking this very, very seriously”

The world’s greatest athlete, as correctly posited by Rob Lowe, has avoided, at least for one day, the executioner’s guillotine at the Margaret River Pro in Western Australia. 

Slater, who is fifty-one, is wandering in unfamiliar scenes, rated twenty-sixth in the world which is four rungs below the #22 mid-year cutoff.

To avoid ending his career in ignominy, and the larger gloom of a tarnished legacy, the 11-time world champ needs to finish, likely, ninth or better in the event.

The air became naturally electric as Slater, who arrived in Margaret River at three am after a wild couple of tube-wrangling days on the Gold Coast, ran down the stairs to the beach, the paws of hundreds of truants beckoning over the fence at the Champ.

If there was any concern his barb was fast rusting, his spine corroded, it was quickly dispelled with an opening seven-six ride, his surfing full of the vibrations of power as those machines which rout out grooves in wood.

By heat’s end, Slater, nostrils flaring and hairy with the heat to kill, had easily despatched the world number one Joao Chianca, along with wildly talented wildcard Jack Thomas.

“It looks like a lot of joy in his surfing again… he’s feeling it,” said the two-time world champ Tom Carroll, a close friend of Slater’s for thirty-five years. “When Kelly starts feeling it, you can see how beautiful his surfing is. And it looked timeless. I’m flabbergasted. To surf at that level at fifty years of age and beyond, it’s a lot of work on the body…”

Open Thread: Comment Live, Margaret River Pro Day One where surfers present their necks for the executioners sword!

Surf talk time!

Japanese hunk Kanoa Igarashi telegraphs potential pivot to professional running if he falls off surfing’s Championship tour!


But have you ever considered what you would be doing if you were not doing what you are doing? Say you’re a teacher but then the district decided it needed to spice things up so enacted a mid-year cut wherein the lowest performing teacher would be fired during the middle of the year. Or a construction artist but, same scenario, spice needed, lowest performing workman cut mid project.What would you fall back on? Shoot for some dream or become extra practical and get a job flipping burgers?

Well, Japanese hunk Kanoa Igarashi, near-ish losing his job as a professional surfer, has telegraphed a possible shift to professional running in a just-released podcast interview with sponsor Red Bull.

You must listen here, but a sampling to get you started.

“You know, it really reminds me of surfing. I love that feeling of taking he first few steps because I know it’s going to be my time: my time to be free, my time to be myself. I can listen to the music that I want to and I can run where I want to, in any direction that I want. It’s empowering.”

Glorious but the question must be asked. When not running, who is dictating what music Igarashi is allowed to listen to, which direction he can go etc.?

Is this a signal for help?


Curse that Erik Logan.

Comment live, Margaret River Pro, “John John Florence like Cleopatra …he makes hungry where most he satisfies!”

John John Florence sees something others don’t at Margaret River!

Dozens of abandoned Apple Watches found “washed up” on North Shore beaches after World Surf League debuts maligned partnership!

Calling Leonardo Fioravanti.

As far as brand partnerships go, the Apple Watch x World Surf League is perhaps the most entertaining. From its rollout, wherein professional surfers were confused that it did not tell time, to it being criticized by a who’s who for not getting heat information correct, to the Italian who’s who, Leonardo Fioravanti receiving an alleged fine, to Chief of Executives Erik Logan patting himself on the back for its wild success, it has been pure joy.

And in this latest twist, we have dozens of abandoned Apple Watches washing up on North Shore beaches, unclaimed and unloved.

Per local KHON television, the watches are being turned into lifeguards but not being spoken for by their losers. That bit was a mystery to the Honolulu-based station, as the devices are fitted with “find my watch” technology, though I wonder if a forensic analysis was done. That is to say, if the watches were powered on and examined to see if there was a small red or blue dot featuring the word “priority” and/or some mistake with the “situation.”


In any case, the Margaret River Pro maybe kicks off in hours and the World Surf League really teased me with an email subject “Bubble Watch: What Does Slater Need at Margaret River?”

Intrigued, I opened. If he wins does he survive the dreaded midseason cut?

If he reaches the quarters?

The body only read “Heading into the final even before the Mid-season Cut*, the 11-time World Champion sits below the cut line and needs a strong result to secure his spot on tour for the rest of the year.”

“Strong result?”

Clickbait, man. The absolute worst.

*Mid-season Cut capitalization all WSL Chief of Interns i.e. Erik Logan.