All hail.

Surf fans have had trouble sleeping of late. Oh, certainly Kelly Slater’s impending forced retirement is depressing and chimeras of future lost earnings due the World Surf League’s new exciting betting program are enough to pry eyes open at night but these are merely background noise to a greater tension.

For Sam George, days ago, teased a follow-up to his The Inertia missive “Death to Secret Spots” that had surf fans busily refreshing internet browsers from sun down to sun up, not wanting to miss the golden glow emanating from his singular wisdom.

Yes, the universally beloved surf guru had decided, after years of being hosted around the world, being shown waves that were unknown, or unavailable, to the masses, that it was exclusionary and unchill. Oh, he had felt that way the entire time, in actuality, and told those bastard gatekeeper hosts that he would not sign their NDAs nor go along with their evil schemes.

Brave.

Though now, he offered to include your words alongside his, an honor akin to being quoted in a papal encyclical.

The enlightened one began Death to Secret Spots: Readers Respond by sharing the location of a secret Baja Mexico spot named Punta Hughes that had been shared with him, that he surfed gloriously with his brother, giving directions, before moving on to the bit where he provides illumination to those who commented, his words in italics, before ending thusly:

Okay, Inertia readers made it pretty clear how they feel about secret spots (and equally clear that very few read the title of the feature closely, it being “Death To Secret Spots”, not “Death Of Secret Spots”) Some find their continued veiled exposure inspirational, almost all support the idea that they exist and should continue to do so, everyone hates crowds, and more than a few think that having worked in the surf media for almost 40 years I’m a big hypocrite for even writing about the subject. Fair enough. Consider what happened when I got back from my trip to Punta Hughes. Nah, didn’t do a story for Surfing magazine, but I did tell one of my best friends with whom I’d been sharing surf trips for years, and he told a few of our other friends, and they all eventually went down there and somehow made it out to Punta Hughes in sea kayaks (think about it) where, with the waves pumping and no other humans in sight, they experienced one of the greatest surf adventures of their lives.

Thus spoke Sam George.

He's a dad!

The Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach is, now, officially in the rearview with certain professional surfers looking onward, to Margaret River, with the greatest of trepidation. For it is there, on Australia’s rough and tumble western shore, that sees the guillotine drop, axing underperformers for the season, sending them to places where sounds of wailing and gnashing teeth fill the air.

Challenger Series yikes.

Amongst those poised to die are Kolohe Andino, Jake Marshall and the best to ever do it Kelly Slater.

Yes, the winningest of all-time finds himself below the mid-season cut line and, likely, unable to make up what he must. Being old, the retirement, albeit forced, should come as a relief to the man who simply could not stop though, hours ago, the 11x world champion threw a monkey wrench into the proceedings by announcing the arrival of twins.

“Twins!” he penned on Instagram.

Their misshapen appearance suggests much money necessary in the future for care and development. A good thing, I suppose, that the World Surf League changed its rules, under the cover of night, to allow former champions named Kelly Slater to continue competing, and earning a paycheck, even after his neck has been severed.

Whew.

Those twins are…

…special.

More as the momentum develops.

Bow to your sensei.

These times, man. Crazy. From an erosion of faith in the World Surf League to Kelly Slater getting pushed to retire a year plus earlier than he had planned. Dangerous and bleak but in dark days heroes often rise and shall we hasten to meet Aleks Pevec, founder and personal surf coach at Lipsmack.

But what is Lipsmack? Pevec defines thusly:

Lipsmack: when a surfer turns up their surfboard to hit the falling lip of ​the wave, allowing the surfboard to be smashed down.

Then continues on with his mission.

Our mission is to guarantee every person, and every couple, a safe space to learn how to catch a wave. If you ever felt like surfing was something that you wanted to try, but feared that it might not be the kind of warm community that you seek, Lipsmack is the perfect place to start. We offer a place to learn and grow as a surfer, in a supportive environment where you can be yourself.

We specialize in surf lessons for new beginners, individuals, couples, friendships, anniversaries, and life partners. We are especially interested in spreading a love of surfing throughout the LGBTQ+ community. The ocean, waves, and sandy beaches are for everyone.

Come bring a date (or jump in solo!) and smack that lip.

Pevec grew up in Honolulu where he learned the art of surfing then moved to Los Angeles in order to major in musical theater at UCLA. He took his skills to Broadway, where he appeared in Evita and Aladdin, before returning to the City of Angeles in order to Lipsmack.

But we are all aware how horrible and violent surfers are. How rude and grouchy and insufferable. How adult learners are ever more vulnerable and need safeguarding from evils like locals and their localism.

Protection runs $175 for an hour and a half, which has been discounted from $225. Couples can become protected for $275.

Sam Cahn, happy customer, declared, “I was hesitant to learn how to surf, but it was something I wanted to mark off my bucket list. After arriving, Aleks taught me form and technique on the sand. In the ocean, Aleks was by my side guiding me the entire lesson. I couldn’t have felt more safe.” Dan Bennett added, “My very first time surfing was with Lipsmack, in Malibu. As someone who works in finance and isn’t the most athletic, I’m so grateful that Aleks was there to coach me through the process. Surfing always seemed so intimidating, but Aleks made the learning experience feel safe, welcoming, supportive, and immensely enjoyable.”

THE MOMENTUM IS REAL.

Book here.