World Surf League Chief Executive Erik Logan (left) describes financial growth to surf legend Tom Carroll. Photo: WSL
World Surf League Chief Executive Erik Logan (left) describes financial growth to surf legend Tom Carroll. Photo: WSL

Hot Rumor: World Surf League stuns with shock layoff of Chief Financial Officer, multiple others, amidst season of “unprecedented growth!”

The momentum of the Championship Tour, the World Surf League and professional surfing is... uh oh.

Shockwaves are currently reverberating throughout the surf universe this evening, stunned faces, stuttering mouths dribbling the creamed corn they were trying to enjoy for dinner, as, moments ago, a rumor surfaced suggesting the World Surf League has laid off its Chief Financial Officer and multiple others mere hours away from the Surf Ranch Pro kickoff.

Sources close to the levers of power in the World Surf League’s Santa Monica offices have shared that the devastating job destructions were entirely unexpected and ruthlessly executed though the Chief Executive Erik Logan and the Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer remain safe.

For now.

But the Chief Financial Officer, and multiple others, are through. Entirely surprising seeing as just months ago, Logan stood before a vast audience of hundreds and declared, “We have not even had the biggest day in pro surfing yet and we’ve already eclipsed some of the most amazing milestones we’ve seen in the history of the sport. Already this has been the most consumed live digital audience in the history of professional surfing before this day has ever happened. We’re up 13.4%, precisely, we like precise numbers. We’re ahead of that before the biggest day in professional surfing. The momentum of the Championship Tour, the World Surf League and professional surfing is real.”

He later declared, “This year will be a record-breaking revenue year for the history of professional surfing on a couple of different vectors. Not only in terms of revenue, but equally as important, in terms of a record number of partners that are on and how we’re seeing the renewals going down the road in terms of the partners re-signing. This is truly exciting.”

One of those partners was, of course, a regional Australian ladder company who signed on for the 2023 and 2024 seasons and very much looked forward to the continuation of the successful onsite activation. The “Bailey Ladders Leaderboard” was also greenlit for the live broadcast and across WSL’s social media channels.

“The WSL is happy to have Bailey Ladders increase their involvement to include the CT events in Australia for the next two years,” the World Surf League’s Australia-Pacific President Andrew Stark stated. “We had incredible feedback from fans onsite and watching from home on the Bailey Ladders Leaderboard. We look forward to continuing this activation across four events in 2023 and 24, both onsite and online. We’d like to thank them for their ongoing support and for seeing the value in professional surfing.”


Neither vectors nor ladders were enough to stave off the hounds and the CFO, and multiple others, are now, allegedly, finished making dreams come true. But does this bit of quality gossip force you to pause and consider the overall health of professional surfing? The fortitude of its billionaire owner Dirk Ziff? The shared abilities/competence of Logan and Miley-Dyer?

Or does the bloodletting make you feel that sound business minds are prevailing? That Lee Iacocca has been reincarnated and doing painful but smart stuff that will allow professional surfing to soar like baby boomer years Ford?

Ahhh Lee Iacocca.

Did you ever read Talking Straight by Lee Iacocca?

Maybe now is the time.

Candles, anyhow, for the World Surf League’s ex Chief Financial Officer.

Ez Geiselman jumps VAL.

Surfer who survived Great White attack divides internet after “near-decapitation” of learner surfer, “You could have really injured or even killed him just for your ego!”

“Kooks need to learn to paddle for the whitewater instead of being a selfish person and ruin people's waves."

The New Smyrna surfer Eric Geiselman has been alternately slammed, and praised, after posting a short clip where he ollies a learner surfer’s head after the VAL has the misfortune to be paddling over the shoulder of a wave Geiselman is riding.

“Where’s ya head at?” writes thirty-five-year-old Geiselman of his expertly executed jump.


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Eric Geiselman (@ericgeiselman)

Fans and friends were divided, however, some lauding his dexterity and the lesson it served to a VAL who should’ve, theoretically at least, paddled towards the whitewater and to the shoulder of the wave while others were less kind.


Jimmy Wilson, surf photographer: “Since the beginning of 2020, not one person has paddled towards the whitewater and attempted a duck dive.”

Raglansurf report, “That guy probably should’ve kept paddling instead of stopping in the lip I reckon.”

As well as,

“Kooks need to learn to paddle for the white water instead of being a selfish person and ruin people’s waves by paddling on the wall because they dont want to have a wave crashing on their dumb heads.”

“Love that Ollie bruv. It’s amazing how many looks actually think they fit in lineups. We got backpackers cluttering the lineups and roads down margs ATM after the Covid shit show.”


“Ollying a chicks head for a shit turn, wow, wouldn’t be showing that on the internet.”

“Horrible behaviour, this could have gone wrong and you could have really injured bad the guy or even have killed him just for your ego. Where is the example for the kids and the other surfer from those pro surfers? That’s why the line up are becoming so bad and full of people behaving super bad. A real man would have just gone straight and waste one of the 1000000000 waves you will get in your life and then speak with the guy in order to avoid this to happen again. But yes being a good surfer doesn’t mean necessary being a good person and this the end is all that matter in the life, good surfers is full out there, you are just one of the 1000. Hopefully you apologize to show this rubbish!”

“What about fins? And what about longboard surfers head? Do ya think it’s worth enough a wave for that risky trick? A longboard is not as easy to manage than a short board. Where’s the real surfing? Respect.”

“Should have archived this footy. Just promotes other entitled kids fortunate enough to grow up on the beach to send people to hospital. Lame, intentional and warrants a black eye.”

“Whoa. You almost injured someone badly and are proud enough to post. Bad attitude.”

“Seen some pretty serious fin caused injuries before soooooo yeah maybe don’t do that to someone.”

It’s a vexed issue, of course, and your opinion might be shaped by whatever has happened to you during your most recent surf experience.

Today, for instance, a gal dropped in on someone while I was paddling out and landed on my head after her feet failed to find the wax.

I surfaced amid the tangle of fibreglass and leash cord to be told to get out of her “fucking way.”

Yesterday, I’d be inclined to side with the happy soul on the shoulder; today less so.


And do you remember, forgiven etc if you don’t etc ’cause it happened in 2009, when ol Ez was hit by a Great White in Santa Cruz? The footage below shows his busted board and shock immediately following the attack.


Raimana pin-drops off his board after securing tube ride for protege.

World’s best surf coach, described as human Viagra by supermodel Cindy Crawford. reveals miracle technique that guarantees beginner surfers as much tube time as Kelly Slater!

“He can get anyone up! Even me!”

A wealth of clips, lately, featuring absolute beginner surfers being gifted the sort of barrels others may never get even after a lifetime in the ocean.

In one of the loveliest rags to riches stories you could imagine Tahitian Raimana Van Bastolaer, who was raised by his grandparents and who was a bodyboarder until 1996, now earns his keep as the ultimate VAL surf coach at the WSL-owned Surf Ranch.

Raimana will surf behind the beginner, steadying them with his hands, issuing instructions, support, and as the wave moves onto the shallow part of the bank at Surf Ranch will compress their hips into the correct lowered stance before pin-dropping off the wave allowing the learner to enjoy a vision that used to be reserved for a wildly select few.

A who’s who of surfing dived into his comments, including Shane Dorian (“Wow that’s fricken cool Mana!”) and DJ Fisher (“Epic”) to praise the Tahitian, a man who has been described as human Viagra by eighties supermodel Cindy Crawford.

Viagra is a medication used to treat erectile dysfunction or to ramp up an already tumescent womb-duster. Side effects include deeply satisfied gal, chafing on shaft and a reputation as a pussy assassin.

Crawford, whose career peaked in 1987 when she appeared alongside the other OG supermods Christy Turlington, Linda Evangalista and Naomi Campbell on British Vogue, described Raimana as “the Big Blue Pill. He can get anyone up! Even me!

A roll call of celebs, including NY designer Donna Karan, supermodels Carolyn Murphy and Christine Brinkley, flocked to Crawford’s comment pane, thrilling to the ride and to human hard-on Raimana Van Bastolaer.

The stoke, as they say, is universal, as one commenter wrote.

“What an experience you and K12 have created for first time surfers, Raimana! You have created the ultimate experience for every surfer which is getting barreled and coming out of the tube. That is a priceless treasure you have created at the ranch. Every time I see these videos, I am inspired and cannot wait to get to the ranch someday! Raimana you are one of the best examples of O’hana and spreading the love of surfing!! God Bless!!”

Raimana has a long history of guiding and helping other surfers.

In an uncharacteristically generous profile for The Surfer’s Journal Chas Smith wrote,

“To the uninitiated, the professional surf life is two very disparate things at once; free and structured. It is the vast oceanic playground sans the traditional “stick and ball” rules-based ethos. It is also a business where talents are groomed according to a specific, painstakingly followed, code. This happens, of course, every winter on Oahu’s North Shore. Young charges are sent into homes owned and operated by the surf brands. There they learn where to paddle out, when to paddle out, what boardshorts to wear with what t-shirt, who to talk to and when, etc. Strict guidance is surfing’s manna. The North Shore, however grand a social experiment as it is, is not the only school. Young charges get taught at contests, photoshoots, and when they travel to the middle of the South Pacific. It is, genuinely, a wonder that eighteen year old boys can even get to a place as remote as Teahupo’o to begin with. The nearest airport is an hour plus away, there are no hotels, real restaurants or infrastructure and the language, however buttery, can be a real barrier to entry. Its remoteness necessitates a Raimana. He feeds, ferries and looks after the future of the sport. He also, quietly, provides the best education they will ever receive, as it relates to surfing one of the heaviest waves on the planet and living well. And this combination makes him invaluable.

“I watch him while sipping on a lukewarm Hinano but watching Raimana’s spark I remember that without ambition there would be no refrigeration. Or colonization. And I hoist myself up to go speak with him, which is harder than it sounds. Raimana Van Bastolear is in demand. There is Quiksilver, and all the Quiksilver surfers, in one of his houses causing trouble and dreaming up schemes. There is a crew of seventy shooting a Visa commercial in one of his other houses. It stars Kolohe Andino, apparently, ordering pizza on a cellphone in a barrel. There is the Point Break production team, somewhere. There was Giselle Bundchen and a Chanel crew who just left. And there is the Billabong Pro coming in just five days and with it badly color blocked trucker hats and Red Bull.

“Raimana runs it all and that is why this pile of French rot at the end of a two-lane road is called Raimana World.”

L. Ron Hubbard and his baby boy look on approvingly. Photo: @shakira
L. Ron Hubbard and his baby boy look on approvingly. Photo: @shakira

Freshly single Shakira delights fans by captioning “incredible surfing skill video” with cryptic L. Ron Hubbard quote amidst Tom Cruise romance rumors!

"If there are no waves we make them!"

Shakira is, without a doubt, surfing’s most endearing celebrity. The Colombian chanteuse, who embraced our Sport of Queens only a fear years back, wastes no opportunity to “ride the waves” whenever, wherever she can. She has included surfing in music videos, raves about new wave pool technologies and even used the cathartic properties of “shred life’ to soothe her broken heart.

That last bit of silver lining came courtesy of Spanish football stud Gerard Pique. The two had been married for nearly a decade when he apparently cheated and blew the whole business right up.

Shakira retreated to the coast and now has retreated all the way to Miami where, weeks ago, rumors began percolating that Tom Cruise was “extremely interested” in a coupling.

The 60-year-old major movie star could be just what the 3-time Grammy Award winner needs, as Pique has gone “Instagram Official” with his new gal Chia Marti in recent days.

Cruise even put some moves on at the Miami F1 stop though Shakira played coquettish and, according to The Daily Mail, “begged” the Top Gun Maverick to “stop flirting.”

Now, though, Shakira is surfing again, wowing fans with her “incredible skill” and also delighting them by captioning her shared video with a cryptic L. Ron Hubbard quote.

The Spanish “Si no hay olas se hacen!” roughly translates to “If there are no waves we make them!” in English and can be found in the Scientology founder’s 1956 classic “The Fundamentals of Thought.”

Cruise is, of course, a public adherent of the religious movement which also just so happens to have its international offices in Clearwater, Florida.

I tried to enter, once, but was harshly rejected by a doorman then followed down the street by 20-sometimes wearing light blue polo shirts and khaki pants. They used walkie-talkies to note my movement and then glared when I drove away even though I just wanted some literature.

Candles lit, anyhow, for Cruise and Shakira. A match made in Xenu.

The Silver Bullet at Pipe.

Tributes pour in for Pipeline charger who popularised helmets at the deadly Hawaiian wave, “He had a silver board, a silver helmet and became the Silver Bullet!”

"He got a 10, a 9.9 and a 9.8 all in the same Pipe Masters heat. Legendary performance in big waves too.” 

The 1990 Pipeline Master Liam McNamara, along with three-time winner Tom Carroll and decorated Pipe charger Strider Wasilewski, have led tributes and shared stories of the Japanese surfer Naohisa Ogawa, who has died of cancer. 

McNamara wrote of his pal of thirty years, 

“For everyone out there to know Nao was a part of the crew of goofy foot helmet wearing Japanese chargers in the late 80s early 90s and into the 2000s! Takayuki Wakita Atsushi Imamura and Naohisa Ogawa were the 3 samurai helmet wearing kamakaze pilots for a couple decades! They pushed each other to a crazy level! All 3 would post up deep deep at my peak

“The Wakita peak!! 


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Liam Mcnamara (@liam__mcnamara)

“So many crazy waves ridden no one could really tell them apart as they  all charged so hard!! Small in stature but big balls and true honor and respect for everybody! Nao had a silver board and a silver helmet and became the “Silver Bullet”Nao was the most genuine soft spoken respectful guy you would ever meet! He would also smile at you and say hi in or out of the water. He competed in the Pipeline Masters over a dozen times getting 10 point rides making a name out out that heaviest wave on the planet!” 

The Hawaiian-based Australian photographer Sean Davey recalled Ogawa’s epic heat in the Pipe Masters. 

“I recall the year that the Pipemasters was invitational. If memory serves me correctly, Naohisa got a 10, a 9.9 and a 9.8 all in the same heat. Legendary performance in big waves too.”