L. Ron Hubbard and his baby boy look on approvingly. Photo: @shakira
L. Ron Hubbard and his baby boy look on approvingly. Photo: @shakira

Freshly single Shakira delights fans by captioning “incredible surfing skill video” with cryptic L. Ron Hubbard quote amidst Tom Cruise romance rumors!

"If there are no waves we make them!"

Shakira is, without a doubt, surfing’s most endearing celebrity. The Colombian chanteuse, who embraced our Sport of Queens only a fear years back, wastes no opportunity to “ride the waves” whenever, wherever she can. She has included surfing in music videos, raves about new wave pool technologies and even used the cathartic properties of “shred life’ to soothe her broken heart.

That last bit of silver lining came courtesy of Spanish football stud Gerard Pique. The two had been married for nearly a decade when he apparently cheated and blew the whole business right up.

Shakira retreated to the coast and now has retreated all the way to Miami where, weeks ago, rumors began percolating that Tom Cruise was “extremely interested” in a coupling.

The 60-year-old major movie star could be just what the 3-time Grammy Award winner needs, as Pique has gone “Instagram Official” with his new gal Chia Marti in recent days.

Cruise even put some moves on at the Miami F1 stop though Shakira played coquettish and, according to The Daily Mail, “begged” the Top Gun Maverick to “stop flirting.”

Now, though, Shakira is surfing again, wowing fans with her “incredible skill” and also delighting them by captioning her shared video with a cryptic L. Ron Hubbard quote.

The Spanish “Si no hay olas se hacen!” roughly translates to “If there are no waves we make them!” in English and can be found in the Scientology founder’s 1956 classic “The Fundamentals of Thought.”

Cruise is, of course, a public adherent of the religious movement which also just so happens to have its international offices in Clearwater, Florida.

I tried to enter, once, but was harshly rejected by a doorman then followed down the street by 20-sometimes wearing light blue polo shirts and khaki pants. They used walkie-talkies to note my movement and then glared when I drove away even though I just wanted some literature.

Candles lit, anyhow, for Cruise and Shakira. A match made in Xenu.

The Silver Bullet at Pipe.

Tributes pour in for Pipeline charger who popularised helmets at the deadly Hawaiian wave, “He had a silver board, a silver helmet and became the Silver Bullet!”

"He got a 10, a 9.9 and a 9.8 all in the same Pipe Masters heat. Legendary performance in big waves too.” 

The 1990 Pipeline Master Liam McNamara, along with three-time winner Tom Carroll and decorated Pipe charger Strider Wasilewski, have led tributes and shared stories of the Japanese surfer Naohisa Ogawa, who has died of cancer. 

McNamara wrote of his pal of thirty years, 

“For everyone out there to know Nao was a part of the crew of goofy foot helmet wearing Japanese chargers in the late 80s early 90s and into the 2000s! Takayuki Wakita Atsushi Imamura and Naohisa Ogawa were the 3 samurai helmet wearing kamakaze pilots for a couple decades! They pushed each other to a crazy level! All 3 would post up deep deep at my peak

“The Wakita peak!! 


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A post shared by Liam Mcnamara (@liam__mcnamara)

“So many crazy waves ridden no one could really tell them apart as they  all charged so hard!! Small in stature but big balls and true honor and respect for everybody! Nao had a silver board and a silver helmet and became the “Silver Bullet”Nao was the most genuine soft spoken respectful guy you would ever meet! He would also smile at you and say hi in or out of the water. He competed in the Pipeline Masters over a dozen times getting 10 point rides making a name out out that heaviest wave on the planet!” 

The Hawaiian-based Australian photographer Sean Davey recalled Ogawa’s epic heat in the Pipe Masters. 

“I recall the year that the Pipemasters was invitational. If memory serves me correctly, Naohisa got a 10, a 9.9 and a 9.8 all in the same heat. Legendary performance in big waves too.” 

The relatively to harmless to humans blacktip reef shark ends its days on a New Smyrna beach with a knife in its head.

“Mass-triggering” of animal lovers after shaka-throwing fishermen execute shark in front of beachgoers, “All kids in high school should have to visit a slaughter house to see how animals are processed!”

"This is a dick measuring contest to perform masculinity."

Two fisherthems, as the noted chanteuse Sam Smith would call them, have come under fire after killing a beached shark with a knife through the brain, ignoring the leas of shocked onlookers who had offered to drag the fish back into the ocean.

In the minute-long clip posted to Twitter, we see two men dragging a blacktip reef shark up the beautiful New Myrna beach sands as Mariana Sabogal, who filmed the event on her telephone, protests.

“Can you put it back?” she says.

“You put it back!” says one of the men.

“We will! I’m not a vegetarian. You should not be doing that with animals. Please do not do anything to it. Please do not do anything.”

One man picks up a knife and plunges it into the rough location of the fish’s brain, which is just behind the eyes although it doesn’t die instantly suggesting a missed shot.

“It’s legal harvest!” he says. “There’s nothing you can do!”

“Why are you doing that?” asks Mariana.

“Because it’s natural!”

“Are you fucking insane, honestly,” she says. “Are you enjoying this?”

“No, I’m taking this to eat. “

Shortly after the ruckus, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission released a statement that read in part,“It is common practice for anglers to euthanize sharks after landing for ethical and safety concerns. This video is not currently under investigation as no violation of state law regarding the method of harvest occurred.”

One man’s euthanasia is another’s execution, of course.

“There’s a lot of things that are legal, but they are not morally right,” said Mariana.

Bit of back and forthing in the comments with many readers correctly pointing out that the method of dispatching a shark ain’t no different to what is dealt to millions of delightful sea creatures every day, including the wildly intelligent octopus.

Others not thrilled.

“This is a dick measuring contest to perform masculinity.”

Where do you stand on this matter?

I swing both ways.

Bodyboarder feels the chilly breath of a surfboard on his neck!

Graphic: Legrope debate explodes after man almost dies at Californian big-wave hotspot The Wedge! “This surfer is lucky to be alive!”

Feel the chilly breath of the engine of slaughter upon your neck!

The ol’ leash-or-no-leash debate has exploded following the near-scalping of a bodyboarder at The Wedge, Newport Beach’s mutant cross-wave that takes a south swell hitting the rock wall and creates “a titanic slingshot that breaks with enough pounds per square inch to send Stone Cold Steve Austin to the mat.”

In a clip posted on YouTube shorts by the world’s most famous redhead Jamie O’Brien, an almost-forty-year-old vlogger from Pipeline Beach on Oahu, we see the bodyboarder going right against the prevailing traffic, before the axe of the dreaded engine of slaughter almost lands upon his neck; enough to feel its chilling breath.

Of course, the man being a bodyboarder fed into a long-held prejudice about riders of the little foam crafts.

“That’s not a surfer. Thats a boog.”

“Sponger. Not surfer. There’s a difference.”

“Less body boarders the better lol.”

“That’s not a surfer. He’s a bellyboarder.”

“That’s not a surfer, that’s a boogie boarder!”


Which begs the question, are bodyboarders people too and are therefore endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness?

Or no?

I think yes! Some of my best friends etc.

Conventional wisdom shockingly upended as new study suggests surfing actually good for those suffering traumatic brain injury!

Happy days are here again!

Months ago, professional surfing saw the official retirement of Owen Wright. The 33-year-old had, earlier, delighted his fans by releasing the “gut-wrenching, heroic” must-read memoir Against the Water in which he shared the story of suffering a traumatic brain injury whilst duck diving a wave in Hawaii, having to re-learn to walk, talk etc. and eventually winning bronze for his Australian home at surfing’s Olympic debut.

The massive damage done without actually receiving a knock on the head was a real wake up call to surfers around the world, though.

Is surfing, in any capacity, massively dangerous to the brain?

Conventional wisdom suggested “yes” but a new Welsh study undermines those very notions.

According to a neuro-rehabilitation program run by Swansea Bay and Hywel Dda University health boards, those who have suffered traumatic brain injury can actually improve their overall well-being by “immersing themselves in the dynamic elements of the, wind and sea.”

Per the academically rigorous yet fun The Conversation:

Some of our participants reported that surfing had taught them that all types of emotions – whether positive or negative – are an important part of the human experience. Instead of trying to control them, accepting them can help people find meaning in their lives.

Making room for difficult thoughts enabled some of our brain injury survivors to reconnect with their values and hobbies too. Surfing gave them meaning and a “valid reason for being alive”. It also showed them that “despite being a bit broken in some places,” they were still capable people. This helped them to renegotiate their identity.

Connecting with people in similar situations can also be crucial after brain injury. Many report that they don’t feel understood by family and friends. Yet belonging is a basic psychological need.

Happy days are here again.