"If there are no waves we make them!"
Shakira is, without a doubt, surfing’s most endearing celebrity. The Colombian chanteuse, who embraced our Sport of Queens only a fear years back, wastes no opportunity to “ride the waves” whenever, wherever she can. She has included surfing in music videos, raves about new wave pool technologies and even used the cathartic properties of “shred life’ to soothe her broken heart.
That last bit of silver lining came courtesy of Spanish football stud Gerard Pique. The two had been married for nearly a decade when he apparently cheated and blew the whole business right up.
Shakira retreated to the coast and now has retreated all the way to Miami where, weeks ago, rumors began percolating that Tom Cruise was “extremely interested” in a coupling.
The 60-year-old major movie star could be just what the 3-time Grammy Award winner needs, as Pique has gone “Instagram Official” with his new gal Chia Marti in recent days.
Cruise even put some moves on at the Miami F1 stop though Shakira played coquettish and, according to The Daily Mail, “begged” the Top Gun Maverick to “stop flirting.”
Now, though, Shakira is surfing again, wowing fans with her “incredible skill” and also delighting them by captioning her shared video with a cryptic L. Ron Hubbard quote.
The Spanish “Si no hay olas se hacen!” roughly translates to “If there are no waves we make them!” in English and can be found in the Scientology founder’s 1956 classic “The Fundamentals of Thought.
Cruise is, of course, a public adherent of the religious movement which also just so happens to have its international offices in Clearwater, Florida.
I tried to enter, once, but was harshly rejected by a doorman then followed down the street by 20-sometimes wearing light blue polo shirts and khaki pants. They used walkie-talkies to note my movement and then glared when I drove away even though I just wanted some literature.
Candles lit, anyhow, for Cruise and Shakira. A match made in Xenu.
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Hahaha, fuck
Max gape
100% more than it’s worth
Bet she takes it in the shitter
Brav-fucken-O
Im big in Asia
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Makes as much sense as virgin birth and Noah’s ark.
new biblical translation…”Moses parted the Red Sea…” has been updated to: “Moses parted the dry reeds…”
nightmare alley. I thought we evolved from apes. oh man!
Ya know what else comes from Colombia ?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
from KTLA 5 : California is one step closer to enacting a law that would ban Skittles, Hot Tamales and a host of other food items that contain chemicals linked to health issues.
Assembly Bill 418, proposed by Jesse Gabriel (D-Woodland Hills), passed overwhelmingly in the California State Assembly last week and now heads to the State Senate, where it is also expected to pass, staffers tell KTXL’s Eytan Wallace.
Gov. Gavin Newsom has not indicated whether or not he would sign the legislation.
The bill would prohibit the manufacture, sale or distribution of products containing red dye No. 3, titanium dioxide, potassium bromate, brominated vegetable oil or propyl paraben in the Golden State.
Those chemicals, which are already banned in the European Union, have been linked to cancer, reproductive issues and developmental issues in children, Gabriel says.
I would like to know Shakira’s opinion on this! Specifically on red dye, zinc oxide and paraben; each of which are critical to the surfing industry
“Shakira, you’re on the line, what say you?”
Shakira: The new law “will allow any Panamanian citizen to be the voice of sea turtles and defend them legally,” I support Ms. Veelenturf (a non-profit caretaker) as she said in a text message as she boarded a plane to Panama City after her group’s work near Armila. “We will be able to hold governments, corporations, and public citizens legally accountable for violations of the rights of sea turtles. So just say no to yelling at turtles Kelly Slater.”
Are you seriously calling this surfing Chuckie? Its fucking wakesurfing, far cry from the real deal but pretty sure we have had this convo before. If Shakunty wants to call this surfing you need to get the fuck out from behind a boat.
agreed. We need to see some REAL surf like they have in Lemoore.
I dont even find her hot.
What am i missing?
It’s rare that a Chas cut n paste vid is lamer than his story – but, this is one of them.
I’ll take your word for it, as I could not read it. Bullet dodged!
Eyes wide
There’s a little known rumor that Erik Logan took so much credit for Tom Cruise spontaneously deciding to jump up and down on Oprah’s couch that one day when the set was clear of crew, Erik snuck onto the stage and like a giddy little schoolgirl jumped up and down on the couch himself while humming the Mission Impossible theme song.
Is it true that Mr. Cruise is only 4’ tall in Cuban heels?
It’s true, but he only wears Cuban heels when he’s drinking a Canchanchara to celebrate the Cuban War of Independence from Spain. It’s also mildly, if not reluctantly rumored that he tried pulling that shit off once in the Philippines. Word is they none too pleased about his merriment that Cuba gained Independence while the Philippines did not.
The Philippines got independence in 1946.
Filipe Toledo lost his independence a couple years ago.
Philip K. Dick was always an independent thinker during his writing career.
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh gained independence from life in 2021.
I was never good at kick-phlips, and solely used Venture trucks, not Independent.
Ventures? Ugh. Thunder!
two german thighs
jordan was never swept 3x
You can smell Journos a mile away,
1 kilometer in aus
1600m, aus journos stink just as bad .
last surf I had, I remarked to another dude in the water that I was stoked I made a wave cause it was so shallow and he said to me: “Ya! It’s like only a meter deep in there!”
and I was like “fuck that cunt, this is America, it’s 18 inches!!!”
true story
In WSLspeak
its dry reef!!
We only use inches to measure the old fella
Amazing how in 2023 cults still don’t pay taxes. Oh.. and if you haven’t seen The Righteous Gemstones on HBO yet your missing out.
They send it straight to Ukraine.
Stops Hunter from buying trannies and crack
Living in Malibu, making and selling art for a living, secret service agents by your side when going to pick up. Does it get any better?
Trmp 24!!
Hell have be doin art with his shit.
Limited edition Hunter Biden art with shit.
I can’t wait for this South Park episode