"This is a dick measuring contest to perform masculinity."

Two fisherthems, as the noted chanteuse Sam Smith would call them, have come under fire after killing a beached shark with a knife through the brain, ignoring the leas of shocked onlookers who had offered to drag the fish back into the ocean.

In the minute-long clip posted to Twitter, we see two men dragging a blacktip reef shark up the beautiful New Myrna beach sands as Mariana Sabogal, who filmed the event on her telephone, protests.

Two men kill a shark for no reason 😳 pic.twitter.com/9Jjj4u3uML

— More Crazy Clips (@MoreCrazyClips) May 21, 2023

“Can you put it back?” she says.

“You put it back!” says one of the men.

“We will! I’m not a vegetarian. You should not be doing that with animals. Please do not do anything to it. Please do not do anything.”

One man picks up a knife and plunges it into the rough location of the fish’s brain, which is just behind the eyes although it doesn’t die instantly suggesting a missed shot.

“It’s legal harvest!” he says. “There’s nothing you can do!”

“Why are you doing that?” asks Mariana.

“Because it’s natural!”

“Are you fucking insane, honestly,” she says. “Are you enjoying this?”

“No, I’m taking this to eat. “

Shortly after the ruckus, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission released a statement that read in part,“It is common practice for anglers to euthanize sharks after landing for ethical and safety concerns. This video is not currently under investigation as no violation of state law regarding the method of harvest occurred.”

One man’s euthanasia is another’s execution, of course.

“There’s a lot of things that are legal, but they are not morally right,” said Mariana.

Bit of back and forthing in the comments with many readers correctly pointing out that the method of dispatching a shark ain’t no different to what is dealt to millions of delightful sea creatures every day, including the wildly intelligent octopus.

Others not thrilled.

“This is a dick measuring contest to perform masculinity.”

Where do you stand on this matter?

I swing both ways.

Feel the chilly breath of the engine of slaughter upon your neck!

The ol’ leash-or-no-leash debate has exploded following the near-scalping of a bodyboarder at The Wedge, Newport Beach’s mutant cross-wave that takes a south swell hitting the rock wall and creates “a titanic slingshot that breaks with enough pounds per square inch to send Stone Cold Steve Austin to the mat.”

In a clip posted on YouTube shorts by the world’s most famous redhead Jamie O’Brien, an almost-forty-year-old vlogger from Pipeline Beach on Oahu, we see the bodyboarder going right against the prevailing traffic, before the axe of the dreaded engine of slaughter almost lands upon his neck; enough to feel its chilling breath.

Of course, the man being a bodyboarder fed into a long-held prejudice about riders of the little foam crafts.

“That’s not a surfer. Thats a boog.”

“Sponger. Not surfer. There’s a difference.”

“Less body boarders the better lol.”

“That’s not a surfer. He’s a bellyboarder.”

“That’s not a surfer, that’s a boogie boarder!”

Etc.

Which begs the question, are bodyboarders people too and are therefore endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness?

Or no?

I think yes! Some of my best friends etc.

“Moments that are no longer acceptable in modern society…”

The world’s greatest surfer, athlete if my opinion is to be weighed, Kelly Slater, has listed the eighties classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High as “one of my top 2 films of all time.” 

The film, which was built around Academy Award-winning writerCameron Crowe’s wild undercover experiences at Clairemont High School in San Diego, follows a bunch of kids as they navigate life, love, sex, drugs etc, Sean Penn’s Jeff Spicoli still the defining surfer stereotype.

However, many problematic themes and scenes, as Literate Ape’s Don Hall explains. 

In the first two minutes of the film, we see a high school guy tape a sign on the back of another guy that says “I Am A Homo” and later, Spicoli, in a dream sequence, as he has won the big surfing competition, calls his competitors “Fags.”

There are only two black characters in this thing: Charles Jefferson (Forest Whittaker) and his brother (known only in the credits as “Jefferson’s Brother”) This film is overwhelmingly white.

In the first twenty minutes, Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a fifteen year old mall worker, has sex in an abandoned baseball dugout with a twenty-six year old dude. She subsequently has sex with Damone in her parents’ pool room, gets pregnant, has an abortion by herself, and hides it all from her parents.

In the first twenty minutes, Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a fifteen year old mall worker, has sex in an abandoned baseball dugout with a twenty-six year old dude. She subsequently has sex with Damone in her parents’ pool room, gets pregnant, has an abortion by herself, and hides it all from her parents.

There is, of course, the Phoebe Cates fantasy sequence where Brad is caught masturbating to his mental image of her slo-mo coming out of the pool and pulling off her bikini top. 

So we have nods to anti-LGTBQ+ aspects, racism by omission, underage sex and abortion. Definitely a few moments that are no longer acceptable in modern society.

Heavy, yeah, and who knew!

But there’s a surprise twist, maybe not problematic at all! 

Read to end here!