Thiel, Slater and Cloudbreak.
Thiel, Slater and Cloudbreak.

Vanity Fair epic on bold surfers versus evil developers in Fiji replete with Kelly Slater and Peter Thiel cameos set to become must-see documentary!

A multi-layered eco-thriller!

Hours ago, the notable American magazine Vanity Fair published an epic tale sure to excite surfers the world over. Oh you must read but, in a word or two, it features two Australian surfers who fell in love with Fiji’s Cloudbreak, bought some property on a nearby island in order to build small eco huts only to run smack dab into the middle of a nasty development that did not heed sound environmental practices, a scientist with dreams of shaving reefs in order to create Surf Ranches in the ocean, a frustratingly unconcerned Fijian government, China’s Belt and Road initiative with cameo appearances by the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater and Gawker destroyer Peter Thiel.


Making things even better, the business is set to become a must-see documentary.

Per Deadline:

Helen Estabrook, Global Head of Film & Television, Condé Nast Entertainment, said, “On its surface, this is a thrilling David vs. Goliath tale centered on a five-acre patch of coastline in Fiji. Thanks to (writer) David Kushner’s cinematic storytelling, we’re introduced to those whose livelihoods depend on that slice of shoreline and suddenly the stakes become much higher. It’s a classic Vanity Fair examination of power, and what’s possible when people have the courage to challenge it.”

Ethan Goldman, Founder and CEO, Anchor Entertainment, added, “Kushner’s investigative reporting presents a pressing urgency as it pertains to the complicated nature of global tourism. With this complex story we aim to present a multi-layered eco-thriller, all set within the visually stunning backdrop of Fiji’s pristine yet fragile natural beauty.”

Multi-layered eco-thrillers seem like a new genre ripe for further development and I am excited for my phone to ring, Hollywood studio on other end, about a story I wrote last year following professional surfer Kanoa Igarashi as he plants a bush in Western Australia in order to help the World Surf League save the earth from collapse.

Cannes here I come.

Unlike most beachfront places in the world, if you go to Teahupoo you'll be treated like a king, or queen, and y'won't be screwed for every last damn dollar. Good people.

Chaos in Tahiti as flash floods destroy houses and wash cars into the wild Teahupoo surf and John John Florence pleads for help, “It’s one of my favorite places in the world and very special to the surfing community”

"The local community in Teahupo’o lost their houses, their cars, some lost everything."

Yeah, you saw those Code Red big-wave histrionics at Teahupoo yesterday, hot sun pouring onto the broad brown backs of myriad maniacs being towed into giant holes? 

Today was a little different, a low pressure system off the south-west of Tahiti bringing the worst rains in almost twenty years, although not global warming related according to a Meteo-France scientist (“It is not climate change related, we have entered the winter season.”)

With those wild rains came flash flooding down there at Teahupoo where houses are built atop rock walls along the ocean. If you’ve been to the end of the road you’ll know it ain’t Malibu, just family owned homesteads, brick, sometimes clapboard houses divvied up into little rooms for paying guests.

And the results have been catastrophic.

“Sending my love and hoping the best for everyone at Teahupoo,” wrote two-time world champ John John Florence. “It’s one my favorite places in the world and very special to the surfing community. They had some serious flash flooding and there is a lot of damage. There is a link to donate in my story.”

Unlike most beachfront places in the world, if you go to Teahupoo you’ll be treated like a king, or queen, and y’won’t be screwed for every last damn dollar. Good people.

(Hello to Mammy and Pappy Tevas!)

“The local community in Teahupo’o lost their houses, their cars, some lost everything,” writes local Hina Moon. “We need your help to buy water, food or anything to help our village.”


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by HinaMoon 🌙 (@hinateaboosie)


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by John john Florence (@john_john_florence)



You wanna help?

Click here, toss a little cash. 

Lowe, pictured, with the pivotal Vans scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High starring Sean Penn, inset.

Pressure builds on multi-billion dollar shoe empire Vans to cover medical bills of British big-wave surfer Tom Lowe almost killed in catastrophic Tahitian wipeout!

"He put his life on the line promoting the brand”

The British big-wave surfer Tom Lowe remains in a Papeete hospital following a catastrophic wipeout at Teahupoo, that dirty big hole at the literal end of the road on the island of Tahiti.

Lowe, who is twenty-nine, was pitched on the takeoff, busting six ribs and puncturing a lung in the subsequent collision with the famous reef.

The wildly talented Lowe, from the Cornish beachside hamlet of St Ives, has long been a stand-out at Irish big waves Aileens and Mullaghmore, as well as at Jaws on Maui, Mavs in California and at Mexico’s Puerto Escondido.

Our source tells us Tahitian authorities won’t let him leave French Polynesia until all his bills, totalling thirty gees, are paid. Now Lowe, who is on a retainer of a rumoured one thousand dollars a month at Vans and hence broke as hell after slinging ten gees at chasing this swell, is a little stuck after his medical insurance said they won’t pay up.

And, so, fellow big-wave legend Greg Long has put out a call for cash to get his pal fixed up and off the island.

During the recent monumental swell at Teahupoo, Tahiti, Tom endured a bad wipeout. His resulting injuries from hitting the reef required he be airlifted to the hospital where he underwent multiple emergency surgeries. He is currently in stable condition but will need to remain under close watch in the hospital for the coming days.

Unfortunately, Tom’s travel insurance will not cover his medical treatment, so we are seeking the kindness and generosity of Tom’s global surf family, friends and compassion of the community, to help assist with his ongoing medical expenses.

Anyone who has ever met Tom knows him as a humble, kind and talented surfer who is a dedicated family man to his wife Tess, daughter Tigerlilly and soon-to-be baby-on-the-way.

Tom has a long road ahead, but true to his nature, he is positive, in a fighting spirit.

Tom and his family extend their heartfelt gratitude for all the love and support during their time of need.


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Greg Long (@gerglong)

Fans were quick to light up on Vans, the multi-billion dollar shoe empire owned by VF Corp, a behemoth in rude fiscal health that owns fifty percent of the US backpack market via its brands North Face, Timberland, Eastpak and JanSport.

How are the brand sponsors of the biggest names in big wave surfing not providing comprehensive medical insurance for this incredibly dangerous game they’re playing? Serious question.

The UFC provides health insurance that is better than all of the major four pro sports, which also does. I’m pretty sure Vans can afford a hospital stay.

reflects pretty poorly on endemic brands that they won’t cover medical expenses for chargers who are responsible for brand identity and ultimately dollars…

@vans @vanssurf should pay the bill.

Why does @vans not give this man proper health insurance or foot the bill? He put his life on the line and does a damn good job of promoting the brand.

And, pointedly,

So Corporate puppets who only care about revenue, profit, and increasing the stock price, encourage their contract surfers to engage in extremely life risking activities in order to acquire attention to sell product, yet when that surfer gets extremely hurt from doing those life risking activities, from their seat on their private plane, “Fuck you! You’re on your own.” is their response. Got it.

So far eight-and-a-half gees from the thirty needed has been raised.

Click here if you wanna tip in. 

Bündchen (left) and a sign.
Bündchen (left) and a sign.

Long-suffering surf fans spasm in ecstasy as Gisele Bündchen attends Met Gala in feathered wedding-style dress from the Kelly Slater years!

Smoke = fire.

Professional surfing, at the very highest level, has decided that it is best, most prudent, to take an entire month off between events in the middle of the season. The Margaret River Pro, as you may recall, wrapped its business on April 28. The Surf Ranch Pro will not kick off until May 29. A bizarre and needless long break which leaves fans of professional surfing adrift and otherwise troubled.

To what should attention be paid?

Oh certainly we have the NBA playoffs, dog day baseball, Miami’s F1 and the absolute best of all AFL (Go Pies) but, at the unfortunate end, we are fans of professional surfing and need storylines that World Surf League Chief of Executives Erik Logan can’t/won’t provide.

He’s a real bummer.

Well, Gisele Bündchen gracing the Met Gala solo can be applauded. The Brazilian supermodel, of course, attended the world’s most important fashion event, this year honoring Karl Lagerfeld whom The New York Times describes as “a firehose of offense.”

Gorgeously borrowing BeachGrit’s other tagline.

Hours ago, anyhow, Bündchen strutted in front of the camera wearing vintage Chanel. A feathered piece from 2007, wedding-style, right when she was dating Kelly Slater.

Without ex-husband Tom Brady nor the dashing jiu-jitsu instructor she has been allegedly seeing.

A certain sign.

The two reigniting their flame and, thus, ushering in a new surf shangri-la.

Slater, you may know, attended the Met Gala in 2015 and looked quite sharp in a classic tuxedo.

You must see the significance.

Must recognize this all as a sign.

27 days and counting to the Surf Ranch Pro.

26 days and counting tomorrow.

Light a candle in the meantime.

Hamilton (pictured) in a place she is no longer allowed. Photo: WSL
Hamilton (pictured) in a place she is no longer allowed. Photo: WSL

Surfline breaks with partner World Surf League over Bethany Hamilton ban, speaks glowingly of inspirational surfer-activist during live Teahupo’o broadcast!

"What Bethany does even today is incredible, riding waves with just one hand!"

It has been nearly three months since the World Surf League declared war on the inspirational one-armed surfer Bethany Hamilton. The shocking row began after the Santa Monica-based “home of professional surfing” adopted liberal new rules allowing transgender surfers with low testosterone, revealed through self-testing, to compete against women. While many cheered the progressive stance others were not so happy. Surf great Kelly Slater called for the creation of a trans division while Kauai’s Hamilton discussed issues of fairness.

Retribution was swift.

Surfers were not allowed to choose “Hamilton” for their jerseys celebrating International Women’s Day and commentators were not allowed to mention her name.

A brutal erasure.

Well, the World Surf League’s forecasting partner Surfline has decided to break ranks with WSL chiefs Erik Logan, Jessi Miley-Dyer etc. and spoke glowingly about the thirty-three-year-old mother of three during yesterday’s live broadcast of the XL Teahupo’o swell. Her unique ability to paddle, spin and pop up all with only one arm, her tenacity, highlighted.

There is no word, as of yet, how the World Surf League will respond to such provocation. Will Surfline be scrubbed entirely? Told to apologize and beg for forgiveness?

Sent to the gulag (Challenger Series)?

Currently more questions than answers.