Whatever you think of the Ranch, capitalism or maybe feudalism at its worst, the rich eat the cake, the poor sweep up the crumbs, sure would be nice to have a place there.
Have you ever wanted to get your own key to the fabled Hollister Ranch but don’t have the thirty-three mill to toss at James Cameron’s compound or five mill for a one-third share in Conner Coffin’s parents’ joint?
A little background for those who’re unaware of this unspoiled slice of California heaven. Hollister Ranch is fifty-eight square clicks, or 14.400 acres, of gated beachfront land on the Gaviota Coast in Santa Barbara County, California. Therefore, y’aint surfing round these parts unless you can boat in.
But as Jen See wrote a lil while back, “The idea of Hollister Ranch as some kind of Eden persists, but is by now, largely imagined. The best-known spots on good swells buzz with jetskis, zodiacs, and floating machines of all shapes and sizes. Anyone with a boat or a friend with a boat can go there. And we all know by now what happened to Eden.”
Then there’s this take
Whatever you think of the Ranch, capitalism or maybe feudalism at its worst, the rich eat the cake, the poor sweep up the crumbs, sure would be nice to have a place there.
But, $675,000? For the slightly more well-heeled among us, why, that’s almost doable yeah?
So what’s it buy?
A 1/12th interest in 5 Hollister Ranch Road or “access of one individual and their guests entrance into the historic Hollister Ranch.
No sleepovers, no parties, get in, get out.
As one beloved BeachGrit commenter wrote: “One of the jokes about localism and crowds at the ranch is that many of the parcel holders have sold portions of their property as proxies for access and parking. Been told that many parcels on the Hollister side had dozens of side deals that include gate access. Building on each parcel is not easy, permits aren’t just issued. Then the Santa Barbara Surf Club has access to grandfathered in. Think Gidget families.
“And Dez, there is only one A break on Hollister. Sure, photogenic as fuck, but none surf as well as they photograph. And the locals are not rippers. It’s still living on the myth of Greenough and Aurness. The gems are on the Bixby side that has one ownership. Bixby has a south swell window too which more than doubles it surfing days. Maybe triples.”
I gotta laugh, grew up in Malibu surfing Little Dume but never surfed the Ranch once due to the high asshole quotient of the other “owners”. My parents were one of the first to build after MGIC started selling. Single owners, parcel 57. Took them 5 years for a building permit (Coastal Commission and HOA notwithstanding). Right down front on Bulito. Beautiful, but the constant wind was annoying, and the politics of the place was poisonous. Public access will destroy it.
7ooK for Surfing with a wetsuit and share waves with fat rich old dudes in fat 8´0 Firewires and e-foils, that seems reasonable to me… sign me in
greenough, george…jungle,
It’s your spot.. not mine
A rip off considering its going to be open to the public in the not-too-distant future. A bit of schadenfreude for the unfriendly, rail digging locals.
“The idea of opening up such sacred land is totally asinine. Hollister Ranch is the only remaining example of what California used to be. This heritage of Old California is what I live and breathe…”
fucking LOL.
Boating in is a long day.
Bobby and Seth had monster ski’s, way easier.
Doesn’t matter if the wench is working either.
Save your money and fly somewhere with surf.
La mIssion’ de mas tortillas. San Diego, Cotton’s Point, Nixon… strike?
Reality is a tricked out boat will give you access to all of that and more for 1/4 the price. And a hell of a lot more adventure.
Was lucky enough to be taken there once when I was in the US, beautiful spot, very like Aus in many ways , vegetation and coastline , tiny waves at lefts and rights or rights and lefts or something like that ? A mal would have been better than my shortboard of the era in retrospect. Long time ago.
Yeah youd be living large in nicaragua or costa rica for that cin.
I love a secret left!
Right!?!
The 1/12th was prob $15,000 on a back lot in the 80s. Bixby is better to surf because the HR locs have no standing on BR. The urchin diver or fisherman was the heavy up there. Only three residential units per parcel in HR and each get two accessory structures for a total of 9. $675000 is way overpriced. .. well guess thats probably just the going rate with inflation 😒
we buy the land…https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.ne…
Why?
originally bought house and leased land, then bought land. 1979. sub-parcel from an original Spanish land grant from the Baptiste’s family. infamous surf spot originally called “Whistles.” famous also for speakeasys and hollywood celebrity parties.
Were you pruning trees on the street over the weekend?
AM. yep, then inspecting exposed seawalls for barnacles & crack…PM looking for leaks…drowners. while prepping for the happy hour party~
Boat access has always been an option. Walking in below the high tide mark has always been an option. Purchasing a 1/12 always been available. Definitely been families that weren’t rich that pooled finances and purchased a parcel, made it work in order to own a slice of paradise. If the parcel has a structure and you own a 1/12 you can sure as fuck camp out for a couple of nights. Bixby definitely does not have superior waves. Warshaw is full of shit with his take, especially that last bit about overflowing trash cans and off roading assholes. The joint has always been full of assholes though and they are mostly the people who surf, usually the cunts that own a 1/12. Very little is sacred anymore and it’s much too close to the hellhole of greater southern California to trust the general public with respecting the place. Keep it locked.
neil conquered hannah there~in la punta!
God I would love to snake out a big aqua turd amongst those privileged cunts. I mean in the Ments it’s rad as fuck but holy cow, this is life goals stuff.
perfect spot for a Chart House~https://www.surf-forecast.c…
Money better spent elsewhere on 100s of surf trips with less people and better waves
Thats 69 odd trips to surf ranch or 69 trips to tha Ments
How many trips to Oklahoma tho?
no life east of sepulveda and/or PCH
Not really a fan of musicals so probly one
Very odd trips, generally.
…or 6900 tranny hookers for DR.
3,450 in sydney.
Its exy down here
9000 or so in Kuta (apparently , I was told by a friend )
The joint’s cooked.
California’s fucking dreaming.
Surfing industry selling the idea of huffing the farts from a consumed lifestyle long, long gone.
The only crumbs left are made of papier-mâchée glued together with the willful delusions of youth and temporary wealthy insularity.
Sell up and GTFO while you can.
Sous les pavés, la plage !
sounds like you need to dig a bunker with me bro – got some good sites scoped!!
im over newie if they gonna tow windmiils out to sea here
You’ll never see em from shore I reckon. Nothing wrong with wind farms in relative context with the fossil fuel lot.
death valley was our home. toyota land cruiser. two volvos in the garage/
Agave nectar for everyone!
does sound like SD lyrics. spandex too! two against the machine…
Rage in the dying of your t-shirt…
love me a a b230 engine!
red block turbo. my volvo had a Delorean engine. nothing but problems. sucked up white lines off the highway
Had three 240 wagons over the years. Gave each of two son’s one as first car. The youngest rolled his running away to see his brother up in the Appalachian mountains of of NC. Poor kid mental health has never been the same and he destroyed a classic..