"If you give me $500 I will give you 5000 slaps."
Not long ago, our surf world was a different place and especially on Oahu’s fabled North Shore. Bad behavior in the water was not met with police calling or social media shaming but with points to the beach and fisticuffs. Interlopers dared not even peek at iconic breaks such as Pipeline, where paks of wolves terrorized, much less dream of paddling out.
Kooks, in general, minded their Ps and Qs.
Those who thought they might be welcomed to paradise were quickly ushered to hell and few were more feared than Kala Alexander.
The specter, hailing from Kauai, very much looked the part. Fearsome eyes, knuckle tattoos, Brazilian jiujitsu training, a rap sheet. His name was whispered in hushed tones, no one wanting to draw unnecessary attention.
Times changed, as you know, a softness settling over western civilization as it identitys itself into extinction but, hours ago, Alexander reminded all that North Shore justice still exists and may simply be hibernating.
The subject of his ire?
Internet scammers.
As anyone with a phone or computer knows, messages promising money for little, or nothing, are ubiquitous. While most consider it background noise, victims are sometimes snared and Alexander has a message for those responsible.
Taking to Instagram, a forum favorited by sneaks, Da Captain declared:
So sad how much people are falling for the “give me $100 or $500 and I will give you $5000 or $8000 or whatever.” Listen people even if someone offers you 10$ if you give them $1 ITS A SCAM !!!!! Don’t do it people. Listen if anybody hits you up with the scam just send them to me I am offering this once in a lifetime deal for scam artists. All they have to do is give me $500 and I will give them 10,000 slaps. Do not shoot a video for them and do not give them any money please people don’t do it. Just send them to me.
But what do you think true market value for one slap is? $500 for 10,000 slaps seems a pretty good deal, to be honest.
In any case, have you ever fallen for a scam? Did it make you feel small and lonely?
I’m sorry.