Smith (center) with fan. Photo: David Lee Scales
Smith (center) with fan. Photo: David Lee Scales

Surf great Kelly Slater, Jonah Hill, Tom Brady, Erik Logan, Ashton Goggans, Jessi Miley-Dyer, Shakira, a man-eating great white shark and Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bündchen walk into a bar!

Whoop there it is.

Church bells began peeling at exactly 10:06 am Pacific Standard Time as surf journalist Chas Smith pressed “publish” on his 5000th story for the culturally valuable surf blog BeachGrit. While there was some debate as to if various “Open Thread: Comment Live” pieces should count, most put aside fussy bean counting to simply take the moment in.

Smith reached the milestone after nearly nine years of tireless, oftentimes groundbreaking, reporting on topics of essential interest to surfers worldwide including, and almost limited to, Kelly Slater.

Zach Weisberg, founder of cosplay website The Inertia often featured on BeachGrit, was unavailable for comment.

While readers, worldwide, celebrated the moment by lighting candles and going not surfing, attention began turning toward what Smith’s 5001 piece might be. Early buzz suggested something possibly on a new busty brunette in former, and perpetual, world number two Taj Burrow’s life even though he seemed to be happily married.

Anticipation growing to almost dangerous levels.

More as it develops.

This story number 5000 has been brought to you by Ricmatic who would like to remind you that BeachGrit is best consumed by scrolling to the bottom of the page and simply reading the comments.

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tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

we’re still inbibing & celebing: Warchild cracks a beer; Chas pulls out the frozen Stoli; DR has over-glazed eyes; Currie is on the stove; LT and Jonah? commercial break. “Down a Corona and CHase it with Hornitos~”

Gadoot
Gadoot
3 years ago

Congratulations to all of us for having the fortitude to at least sometimes read the first paragraph of these articles.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

Cherish is the word used to describe…All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside

[Chorus]
You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I had told you
You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could hold you
You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could mold you Into someone who could cherish me as much as I cherish you

signed,

The Association (of former trolls, now considered either Chas-chick-filets and/or Dereklicts)

K0o_o0K
K0o_o0K
3 years ago

7.1 single wave heat avg for the career to date, though this came in at just a 2.4. Seems the judges didn’t buy the claim. Needed more thrust, Joe?

M.
M.
3 years ago

Truer words were never spoken/written/commented(?). Still congrats, thanks for sometimes trying to make us chuckle.

Le Reynard
Le Reynard
3 years ago

Thanks for yuks Mr. Smith
Keep ’em coming

Pottz' whereabouts
Pottz' whereabouts
3 years ago

valley girl

channelbottom
channelbottom
3 years ago

5000 or variation, may refer to:

In general
A.D. 5000, the last year of the 5th millennium CE, an exceptional common year starting on Wednesday
5000 BCE, a year in the 5th millennium BC
5000s AD, a decade, century, millennium in the 6th millennium CE
5000s BCE, a decade, century, millennium in the 6th millennium BC
5000 (number)
Music
Powerman 5000, an industrial hard rock band
“5000”, a 2002 song by Nelly from Nellyville
Michael “5000” Watts, rap artist
Other uses
5000 metres, an event raced by long-distance athletes
United States $5000 bill featuring a portrait of James Madison
Ford 5000, a tractor
5000 IAU, an asteroid in the Asteroid Belt, the 5000th asteroid registered
5000 (District of Berat), one of the postal codes in Albania

-Wikipedia

Sun Bear
Sun Bear
3 years ago

Tu meke Chas!

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
3 years ago

Goddamit Chas, that is a fine effort. Content is king as they say.

P.S. I think you’ll find that Bells “peal” not “peel”, unless you have a mighty sharp peeler.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
3 years ago

I like to keep consistent.

Internet Technician - Level 5
Internet Technician - Level 5
3 years ago

What a seminal moment in surfing history

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

One day of waves in six months and I miss this auspicious occasion.

Congrats Chas, is there a gold jacket or ceremony we can live feed?

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

LOL

Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
3 years ago

Take a bow, Sir… Kudos to you!..

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
3 years ago

Just like the miscounted Floridian votes due to the unpunched ‘chads’ on voting cards on some American election a while back, this total of 5000 is being disputed by many due to Chas including ‘live comp comment announcements’ in the total.
These ‘live comp comment announcements’ aren’t actually articles, so a recount is needed…

Hope you have a great day Chas, and know that we’re looking forward to your 5000th genuine article
Cheers

Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Chastising Chas?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

LA news Flash: “The Aussie guy who invented the booerrang grenade died today.” (Johnny Carson, Aug 1987)

Cannabis-Creativity
Cannabis-Creativity
3 years ago

5k…some cranked out with careless bravado and occasionally with piercing clarity. The biting critiques along with the feats of fatness and fatuousness. But even insufferably insouciant Chas was/is always better than no Chas.

P.S. Thanks for teaching me the word insouciant. I come here, dear Master, to learn.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
3 years ago

Claim your prize!

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

Ruh roh. Trouble brewin

Gadoot
Gadoot
3 years ago

That’s a lot of STD’s in that pic.

Sofa Surfer
Sofa Surfer
3 years ago

The suspense was killing me. Congrats!

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
3 years ago

God it seems like so much more. Congratulations, Charlie.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago

The negative to our toxic positivity, what a journey xox

ricmatic
ricmatic
3 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

thanks for being in charge of the love, dogsnuts

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

You are most welcome cunt xox

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

is pubs or cunt referring to the directive? FOCUS!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Chief of Love and deputy vice senior bumhole fingering xox


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