"...at least I caught some waves before."
We surfers, we riders of the sea, are not good for much. Selfish, generally poor at time management, forever crafting plans to sneak away from family functions in order to smack a little lip. BUT there are certain times, certain places, where our expertise is absolutely essential. Navigating airline check-in counter bag weighing machines, for instance, or knowing how to properly deal with painful jellyfish stings.
And thus we have Lindsey Vonn turning her eyes, welling up with tears, in our direction, begging for our help.
The last we saw from the highly decorated skier, she was learning the art of the e-foil while being forced to deal with thirsty messages from a testosterone-soaked Mark Zuckerberg.
Yikes.
Today, though, she is desperate.
Taking to Instagram, the one-time all-time leader in World Cup race victories shared:
What started off as a great day ended in a giant jellyfish sting/bite… I literally rode over it as I was getting up on the wake surf board. thanks to everyone who gave advice on remedies. Think it’s gonna leave a mark for a while … at least I caught some waves before!”
It was, of course, the surfers in her feed who gave advice on remedies.
The most popular?
Urine.
Or them telling her she was “hot AF.”
Class.
But how do you deal with the painful barbs of the mean ol’ jellyfish?
Do you soak in a nice hot tub, drinking a glass of chilled rosé or… something else?
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Great Headline and Crotch Shot…”Striaght to comments…”
I would have thought her butt would be better….
What does Lindsay Lohan have to do with surfing?
She reinvented her thruster?
just blew out my pork rinds/
Nanakuli Tracks
When the water of my local spot would be full of man o war nobody would go in until they got stung. The all time was coming up from duck dive and having the bastards all over my face and neck.
LET US HOPE THE BG CROWD GOES TO LINDSEY’S IG ACCOUNT AND SHOWS HER SOME ATTENTION!
Poor Lindsey has been replaced as the darling of ski racing by a much more worthy darling in Mikaela Shiffrin. And worse yet, her PR handlers have failed to keep her relevant which is of little surprise…NEXT
Out of intense complexities, intense simplicities emerge. Scrub it Kook!
Winston Chaschill
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I’m guessing T and PK performed that service on multiple occasions.
R Kelly Slater?
wake____board*
Has nothing in the f World to do with surfing, you f twat!!
I think you’re jealous that she chose Tiger over you and never revisited your offer of unrequited love after she and T ended their fairytale romance.
nailed it….really enjoyed that f(l)at, pasty white ass…..wow, how exciting…
I’m no prize but she isn’t my type nor is she yours. 14:59 was waaayyy too long ago for her….