"It seems that El Salvador will be the replacement..."

Two days ago, the surf world was shocked when a rumor, or rumour, leaked that the “global home of professional surfing,” or World Surf League, was set to cancel the Jeffrey’s Bay stop after the event became “financially unviable.” Per Derek Rielly’s crack reporting:

It ain’t cheap to run a CT surfing contest. For the construction, the broadcast, for Smoking Joe Turpel to mouth inanities for a week straight, it’s gonna be three mill, and then some.

The publishing heir Ziff, who’s worth around six billion, threw twenty-five mill straight into the pro surfing hole and by 2016, according a 2017 lawsuit filed by a minority owner of the WSL, had spent fifty mill, although this did include Slater’s Lemoore pool, the WSL’s one glittering investment.

Rumours of the WSL being shopped around for sale with at ticket price of 150 million remain strong, however, including interest from oil-rich Arab states where the first Slater pool outside of Lemoore is being built.

Still, a smart man ain’t gonna throw good money after bad and, now, one of the most popular events on the ten-event tour schedule, the Jeffreys Bay Open, is on the cutting block according to sources who say the blue-chip contest is “financially unviable.”

Or, in shorthand, no government body in South Africa is prepared to throw millions into a two-week contest that delivers a short-lived boost to the local economy.

Now, according to the South African surf site Wavescape, the sad business is all but confirmed. According to the piece “J-Bay Cancelled:”

Sources close to the matter say that the J-Bay leg of the CT had a significant shortfall in 2023, and that the total income locked down for 2024 meant a similar loss next year, and time – and patience – has run out. This comes not for want of trying to secure the event’s future.

“In a country like Australia, state governments are falling over themselves to host more WSL events in an already congested lineup of events in Australia because they appreciate what this does to the local economy, with a huge economic injection when thousands of local, state and overseas visitors come to a town for 10 days.”

And…

“It seems that El Salvador will be the replacement,” the source said, adding that it was a cruel irony that here in South Africa, there was little broader political appreciation of what it meant to host a global sport event of this magnitude, of being one of 11 high profile stops on a global tour not dissimilar to Formula 1 in some respects, especially considering things beyond the hard cash element. Things like prestige, gravitas, and a platform for local regions to showcase themselves to the world.

I’d argue that the billionaire-owned World Surf League should actually do South Africa a solid and pay for the honor of hosting an event at J-Bay, not the other way around.

Though in any case, how do you like them apples?

While I’m certain the sentiment inside the World Surf League is, “Quit your whining you degenerate ingrates,” the disappearance of one of the best waves in the world and its permanent replacement by El Salvador won’t exactly be a ratings or reputation boon. Possibly even potentially criminal with much distress and purposeful angst being caused.

As below average waves now make up the vast majority of the tour, will viewers stick around?

Will surfers?

Further rumors that the World Surf League is set on hosting each and every finals day from here on out at Lower Trestles shreds some of the last bits of dignity though, if other rumors are true, none of it matters. Namely, the aforementioned of the whole shooting match being shopped to sheiks who would move the competitions to Qatari pools and pay enough for competitors to shut their mealy mouths.

Filipe Toledo easily surpassing Kelly Slater’s heretofore untouchable 11 titles.

Time as ripe as ever for a “rebel tour.”

Or is professional competitive surfing finally and officially dead?

Also, and last question here, will the vanishing of a true surfing icon (J-Bay) be too much for Joe Turpel, Strider Waz, Pete Mel etc. to take? They are all true surfers to the very core and I’d imagine it’d be difficult not to at least publicly mourn the world’s greatest right hander.

Or have they all sold soul entirely?

Bahrain bound.

Age of Empire.

The 2024 Olympic Games, which will be hosted in Paris, are less than a year away, now, and excitement should be bubbling for you and yours. Of course the standard track and field, swimming, equestrian dressage events always thrill, our surfing will be making a return, being held all the way across the world in French Polynesia and, more specifically, Teahupo’o.

The Place of Broken Skulls.

Most of the teams are already set, two men and two women from each qualifying country, via the World Surf League though who might win gold, silver and bronze is still entirely up in the air.

The only certainty is that the sitting WSL champion, Brazil’s Filipe Toledo, will bow out early if there is any size. Other than that, Brazil’s other male surfer Joao Chianca, the USA’s Griffin Colapinto or John John Florence, Australia’s Ethan Ewing or Jack Robinson are all odds on favorites.

Except not so fast.

In a bold move, GB Surfing, the “non-governmental organisation dedicated to developing exceptional British surfing talent,” has redesigned its logo to “create a new brand identity aligned with its ambition to become a great power in international surfing.”

Age of empire.

GB Surfing turned to FORM Brands Studio in order to find the perfect look/feel. “We surf ourselves,” co-founder and creative director Alex Andlaw told Creative Boom. “So we loved the idea of getting the perfect wave carved into the logo. We looked at the shapes of breaks, cutbacks and tunnels of waves to find inspiration: every line, curl and curve was carefully considered to create the final design.”

The results are striking. Simple yet identifiable. British red and blue featured. Eye catching and “atmospheric.”

Not leaving the impression of having been done by a bored and angry four-year-old like the World Surf League’s logo.

Yikes.

Will the GB Surfing redesign be enough to bring a medal home to Scotland?

The smart money says “Filipe Toledo will be scared.”

Rude.

I trust your weekend was a good one filled with enjoyable food, drink and service. Mine certainly was as I advised and assisted New Englanders in navigating Hurricane Lee with much success. Locals were extremely pleased as I taught them how to lightly horde and shame those who were not taking breezes seriously.

The weekend was, unfortunately, not so wonderful for Higor Fiuza, whom you certainly remember. The Brazilian (?) who splashed into the collective conscious two weeks ago by taking his pet python surfing on Australia’s Gold Coast. While some accused him of “bringing sand to the beach,” hundreds of others were moved by the whimsicality of the act alongside Mr. Fiuza’s ability to understand snakes.

“Usually when she doesn’t like something she starts hissing but she doesn’t hiss [in the water], she is always chill,” he told Channel 9 News.

Parseltongue.

The animal would cling to Mr. Fiuza’s neck while he ripped a longboard all chill and styley.

Very cool.

But leave it to Australia, land of draconian “no fun,” to squash the smiles

According to the BBC:

Queensland’s Department of Environment and Science says it began investigating the surfing duo after Mr Fiuza appeared in local media, and this week issued him a fine of A$2,322 (£1,207; $1,495).

Taking native pets out in public can cause them “unnecessary stress” and could make them “behave in an unpredictable way”, wildlife officer Jonathan McDonald said in a statement.

“Snakes are obviously cold-blooded animals, and while they can swim, reptiles generally avoid water,” he said.

“The python would have found the water to be extremely cold, and the only snakes that should be in the ocean are sea snakes.”

I wish there was a GoFundMe where we could all share in Mr. Fiuza’s fine but alas, I could not find one.

In any case, what do you feel, in general, about surfing animals? Ducks, dogs, cats, chickens etc. have each made headlines during the past year surfing it up. Does it make you giggle or angry?

GOATs only?