With incidents of kook misbehavior on rise, left-leaning Los Angeles Times publishes shockingly snarling guide to surf lineup etiquette

LOCALS ONLY.

The tide has, possibly, turned. The pandemic, now in the rearview, certainly did seem to spike surf participation. Our favorite pastime could be practiced outdoors, socially distanced, a thin sheen of “cool” spread panic. Those who took up the Sport of Kings, though, generally did it poorly. No knowledge of social mores, nor care. When the unwritten rules were flaunted and a local got angry, he or she was deemed as a “gatekeeper,” likely racist, or at the very least xenophobic.

Regulation on the verge of cancellation.

But yet, this morning’s edition of the Los Angeles Times includes a definitive guide to lineup etiquette that has a snarling side.

Off my wave, barn.

While written in the language that kooks understand, the rules are true and clear (except rule 5).

1. Don’t paddle if you suck.

2. Only surf soft beach break junk, at first.

3. When ready to move on, sit and observe like Rick Kane, giving wide berth to locals.

4. Surfer on peak calls shot. Don’t drop in.

5. Communicate by yelling “going left” or “going right.”

6. If given a slap, learn from it.

7. Never ditch board.

Surprising, no? And while some rules were omitted (8. If you see former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan, paddle away unless you want to be gently touched on the inner thigh), the aggressive tone is very welcome.

Speaking of the World Surf League, its official “Sports Performance and Counseling Psychologist,” Christian Glasgow, was quoted in the piece saying, “Lineups have become more crowded and more dangerous. Beginner surfers that do not know surfing etiquette were paddling out at places like Rincon and Trestles before learning the basics and becoming strong paddlers. This has caused a lot of frustration and injury for more experienced surfers. I have quite a few patients that have been injured in the last few years due to being hit by a surfboard, including significant brain injuries.”

Much to unpack here, including which professional surfer ELo brain damaged, but mostly that the World Surf League has an official Sports Performance and Counseling Psychologist.

Filipe Toledo with fewer and fewer excuses.

Going left.