Right at home. (Get it?)

A decade ago, who would have ever imagined the entertainment dynamo, known to all simply as Oprah, would be so entwined in our surf world? But here we are, twisted and tied together. Basically one flesh. The tycoon, who hails from Chicago, first cracked in by purchasing large portions of Maui then doubled down by lending us the “Oklahoman with a magic wetsuit of armor” Erik Logan, who became Chief Executive of the World Surf League before disappearing in a cloud of scandal. Winfrey also owns much property in California’s most exclusive surf burgh, minutes up the coast from Rincon, a stone’s throw from Britt Merrick’s gated manse.

Yes, Montecito.

You are certainly aware of the ocean-front enclave, home to Prince Harry and Princess Meghan amongst other extremely famous neighbors including the always kind Ellen DeGenerate, Ariana Grande and now the most beloved of Friends Jennifer Aniston.

According to reports, the 54-year-old actress just scooped up a Tuscan-style villa from the aforementioned Winfrey for a tidy $14.5 million.

The property, built in 1998 and purchased by Oprah in 2021 for a clean $10.5 million from a New York hedge fund manager, features one large complex and two smaller bungalows plus gardens, ponds, plants, a pool and a ten-ish mile drive to California’s second most famous point break.

Fabulous.

Aniston is, clearly, the best of all Friends, a list that includes Phoebe, Chandler, Monica, Ross and Joey and made some $90 million from the show’s run, though what are your thoughts, exactly, on those who purchase their local status?

Would you give Rachel a free pass? Would you blame her if she punched out your fins?

Most importantly, though, if you could live in an exclusive surf burgh, which would you choose?

Bondi?

The Hamptons?

Whangamata?

Much to ponder.

Big Daytona.

Hurricane Lee, massive and wild, slowly churning in the Caribbean as a Category 3, has been on surfers minds for days. Last week, we learned that the beast might just push 100+ foot waves to Florida, exciting Garrett McNamara, Laird Hamilton and others who have made their names riding giants.

At that time, the storm was located some 650 miles off shore with crazy sustained winds and a big mean eye.

Now, Hurricane Lee is still out in the Atlantic, though has taken a northern turn striking fear, or envy, into the hearts of New Englanders who might just receive surf magazine cover-worthy bombs.

“On the forecast track, the center of Lee will pass west of Bermuda Thursday and Thursday night and then approach the coast of New England or Atlantic Canada late this week,” according to the hurricane center.

Still, while the generally placid waters off of Florida’s east coast didn’t necessarily rise to the occasion, they did become extremely dangerous, all rip currenty and nasty, even claiming the life of a 72-year-old charger seeking infamy.

According to Florida authorities, a Daytona Beach lifeguard spotted the man when he was about 100 yards away and became concerned when she noticed he had become “disconnected” from his board. She raced out to him though he became unresponsive once arriving to his side.

“He was removed from the water by multiple lifeguards,” Volusia County Beach Safety said in the statement. “Medical interventions were started,” though the measures were not effective and he was pronounced dead at the scene.

That was one of four cases of surfers being caught in rip currents and needing assistance.

Rip currents don’t have nearly the shine of a 100+ foot wave and it feels like Florida got ripped off on this one.

But back to New England?

Will heroes rise?

More as the story develops.

An entire system called "life" invented to torture the beleaguered Australian.

No surfer walking the face of the earth, past, present or future, has ever suffered like Tyler Wright. From her father forcing her to learn how to ride warm water waves to sponsor Rip Curl paying her millions of dollars to twin world championships then marriage to her beloved wife, the 29-year-old has had it bad.

Wright, who properly came out as gay to much fanfare in 2020 when she decided to sport the famous pride flag on her singlet, declared at the time, “I don’t want to say I was hiding before, but now I am encouraged enough to lean into who I am. I’m not scared to say, ‘Look, this is what I stand for.’ I want to show others that surfing can be a welcoming space for LGBTQ+ athletes.”

Just prior, she had endured debilitating chronic fatigue.

Just after, sapping menstrual cramps.

All in all a string of rottenness no class, from Russian serfs to African slaves, has had to brave.

The worst of all indignities, though, was just ladled upon her bowed crown.

A stripping of the 2023 World Surf League championship tour title. Rightfully hers before a purposefully marginalizing change in format.

Common knowledge had it that the trophy would have been Carissa Moore’s without the manufactured introduction of “Finals Day” wherein the year’s results are thrown out and Lower Trestles becomes the biggest test on earth. The Hawaiian gold medalist was robbed last year when Steph Gilmore stormed from fifth to first. Then, she had enough points at season’s end to win without even competing if normalcy was allowed.

This year, it was assumed she was first as well, as she came in wearing yellow.

Wright, for her part, was second wearing… to be honest, I can’t remember. Green?

Alas, it was a mirage.

An eagle-eye’d surf fan wrote in with the truth, just hours ago, sharing via Instagram:

Hi Chas, I can’t get on your BeachGrit comments section so would just like to have a say here about the Carissa Moore scenario and the one day WSL Final fiasco. I agree that last year Carissa had an unassailable lead going into the finals day. So yes, Title #6. But she was overrun by Gilmore and Gilmore gained her 7th Title leaving Moore on 5.

2023 a bit different. Applying the ‘old system’ of best 8 results from 10 events it adds up that Tyler Wright (with 59,455 pts) would have taken the 2023 crown, Carissa 2nd ( 57,745) and Caroline 3rd.

Therefore using the old system , Steph and Layne with 7 titles each, Carissa has 6 and Tyler up one to 3.
Using the new format, Steph 8, Layne 7, Carissa 5 and Caroline 1.

I wish people would look a bit deeper into the numbers and compare.

There we have it.

An entire system called “life” invented to torture poor Tyler Wright.

Sad.

A nasty curse strikes again.

Two years ago, or such, we all learned of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Surfer’s Myelopathy. The ultra-rare disease, a hyperextension of the T10 vertebrae, causes paralysis without even a bonk on the back, just regular ol’ paddling and popping. Reason 312 to quit surfing, immediately.

Last time, the nasty condition befell a handsome young Las Vegas man on vacation to Hawaii. The 18-year-old had gone surfing, a lifelong dream, but, “Within that first or second wave, I noticed my lower back was starting to feel tense. Soon as I touched the sand, my legs pretty much just gave out.”

Surfer’s Myelopathy.

Paralysis.

Now, it is being reported that an Atlanta man, in Honolulu for his honeymoon, suffered the same ugly fate. According to local media, Brendan Town, 32, was on the the island celebrating marriage to his wife Cho Park, by surfing. Afterward, it is said he had a “mild discomfort” in his back that quickly devolved to full paralysis.

He has been in the hospital for weeks, getting released yesterday. “My goal is to be able to withstand the 8-9 hour flight back home by the end of this week,” he wrote on a GoFundMe. “Once back home I will be starting inpatient physical therapy that will help expedite the process of my healing and being able to walk again.”

Walking is possible, again, with the surfers’ curse and hopefully Town will be able to overcome but man…

Does it make you think twice about paddling?

Or at least paddling in Hawaii?

Probably should, TBH.