“Horror before Halloween” after revelation
World Surf League will share space with animal urgent care facility
in new South Bay office!
By Chas Smith
Welcome to the pet cemetery.
Surf fans, earlier, were bracing for a civil war
between fans of the World Surf League and its former Chief
Executive Erik Logan after news leaked that the former was moving
to the latter’s backyard after putting its spacious Santa Monica
offices up for sale signaling financial weakness and sorrow.
The South Bay.
Logan had made suburban the Los Angeles region famous, even
gracing the cover of southbay
magazine. The World Surf League, firing him in the most terse
sentence ever penned, then unashamedly paddling his point pure and
unadulterated provocation.
The South Bay.
Though exactly where in the South Bay remained a guarded
mystery… until minutes ago.
For minutes ago, a crack sneak has declared “The new WSL HQ will
be at 2201 Rosecrans,
El Segundo, CA 90245. It is only taking up a portion of the
building. Move-in date should be December.”
And there we have it.
But who will be sharing space with “the global home of
surfing?”
An animal urgent care facility.
And the headquarters for the National Veterinary Associates,
inc.
Pet cemetery.
Yikes.
Back to the civil war, though, have you decided which side
you’ll take yet?
Clock is ticking.
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Civil war brews in South Bay as World Surf
League announces new home in backyard of ruthlessly beheaded former
CEO!
By Chas Smith
Will you fight?
Yesterday a stirring video dropped, out of
nowhere, detailing how one Erik Logan was responsible for saving a
bawdy talk radio show thereby becoming a hero to free speech,
waving a middle finger at “the man.” Gregg “Opie” Hughes, one half
of the program Opie and Anthony, shared how the XM satellite
network wanted to kick them off the air for being rude and
provocative only to be saved by Logan who brokered a sweetheart
deal where they only had to vacate microphones for one month and
get paid whilst doing.
Surf fans were shocked.
The last we had seen Logan, he was sitting atop the vast World
Surf League as its Chief Executive, wielding his power like a
cudgel. He seemed to be untouchable, spinning corporate nonsense
talk faster than it could be digested, sucking the breath out of
professional surfers, wearing their skin. He did not appear to be a
savior, rather a demon sent to torment and molest.
Molest, as in bother maybe, he did just too much as the World
Surf League fired him in the most ruthless way possible, lopping
his increasingly handsome head right off when he was on a business
trip to Brazil, eulogizing him in one mean sentence.
“Erik Logan is no longer with the company.”
Back to yesterday’s arousing video, though, and its seemingly
out of nowhere-ness, might it have been the first salvo in a
just-over-the-horizon civil war?
For, just over the weekend, it was reported that the World Surf
League was moving its vast Santa Monica offices in a sure sign of
financial distress. The property offered for purchase or lease.
Further reporting for the AI enhanced Surfer revealed that
the World Surf League was not self-immolating, yet, but moving to
“refurbished” offices in the South Bay.
(Ominous music).
The same South Bay made famous by Erik Logan.
When the Oklahoman with the magical wetsuit of armor first
crashed onto our scene it was with a paddle in hand, gently
sweeping Manhattan Beach’s seas. The South Bay, also home to El
Segundo, Torrance, Hermosa and Redondo, has no good waves and
wild women patrolling the
beach with knives, but Logan made it his own, branding
it, living it, loving it.
The World Surf League’s move a direct assault.
Opie’s aforementioned video, a rallying cry for enlistment.
Will you fight at Brother’s Burritos? Two Guns Espresso? Rock ‘N
Fish?
On the shore of El Porto?
But whose banner will you carry?
Me?
This one.
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Surfers pulled from death's claw at
Biarritz.
Mass surfer casualties in Biarritz as wild
swell and high tides bring chaos to French resort town!
By Derek Rielly
Thirty-one surfers pulled from death's claw by
helicopter and jetski…
The pretty, if faded and well past its prime, French
town of Biarritz has become the site of a mass surfer
rescue after the same wild swell and high tides that lit
up the Quik Festival in Hossegor threw the joint into
chaos.
Thirty-one surfers were pulled from the drink around the old
port on Saturday, the same place your old pal DR used to sun his
aged haunches while sucking on ice cream cones and dribbling the
juice on bronzed tetons, thrilling to the rise and fall of those
soft plums, all of ‘em hitting the panic button as high tides made
getting in via the cement ramp an act of skill, luck and
bravado.
“We started to pick them up on the stairs located in front of
the lifeguard tower,” said rescuer Franck Billard, adding the
thirty-one man rescue formed the greatest event of his career. “The
surf boards stopped in all directions. There was something panicky
at that moment.”
As more and more surfers tried to come in, three lifeguards
joined in the rescue, as well as jet skis and a police
helicopter.
“At first it was manageable,” he says, but it all went south, as
they say, due to a curio of French surfing ie. if you see another
surfer doin’ something, you must follow, whether that’s surfing a
certain bank or getting in or getting out. “By snowball effect,” he
said, “everyone wanted to get out of the same time.”
For a taste of the rescue, check out this old vid of surfers,
and I use the term loosely, getting hammered on the same ramp.
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Former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan
revealed to be protector of bawdy free speech in stunning new
interview leaving “hater” surf fans on ropes!
By Chas Smith
Were we wrong?
The corpse of Erik Logan is now well and truly
cold. Half buried in Brazil, the former World Surf League
Chief Executive’s rotting flesh, bleaching bones have never been
properly put to rest. The World Surf League’s tart official
statement “Erik Logan is no longer with the company” the only
epitaph.
His time holding professional surfing’s reins were mostly marked
with weird. He pushed himself front and center, unlike his
predecessors Paul Speaker and Sophie Goldschmidt, documenting his
“personable” style. Logan breathed Jack Robinson’s air, he wore
Filipe Toledo’s skin he, allegedly, told the beloved Santa Barbara
surfer Conner Coffin “I will ruin you.”
Mostly, though, he spewed corporate gobbledygook. Whether
excoriating Brazilian champions or simply opening his mouth, Logan
had a rare gift for pure emptiness.
“Haters,” are therefore understandably, shocked today after the
release of a video from former shock radio jock Gregg “Opie” Hughes
describing how Logan saved his bawdy show from corporate
explosion.
Opie and Anthony, which once rivaled Howard Stern for kings of
the airwaves, got into some real hot trouble after a particularly
“dangerous” segment. While the suits wanted them fired, the show
off the air, our ELo swung in to save the day.
Hughes discusses in detail:
Now, the questions, however uncomfortable, must be floated.
Did we get the Oklahoman with a magical wetsuit of armor all
wrong?
Was he actually our champion, ready to take it to professional
surfing’s billionaire owner Dirk Ziff for us little
rabble-rousers?
JP Currie, do you have a sneaking bit of guilt haunting your
corners?
Well, whatever the case, we are left with Chief of Sport Jessi
Miley-Dyer, though, to be fair, I think she is really clueless.
Or is she?
More as the story develops.
But, quickly, while you are still here. What happened to Howard
Stern? Why he so pusillanimous?
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In savage coup, Channel Islands poaches
Hawaiian stud Barron Mamiya from rival Sharp Eye!
By Chas Smith
This means war.
One day, we will gather our children around our
feet, order them to sit and begin to speak using our most serious
baritones. “Children,” we will say, “it is time to learn about the
great surf industry that was once fruitful and bold, about fierce
brands like Quiksilver, Billabong, Volcom and Hurley…”
The children will likely interrupt at this point and ask, “Beard
oil companies?”
“No!” we will roar in response.
“Not beard oil companies!” but then will have to correct
ourselves. “Yes, they are beard oil companies today but they were
not always such. They once produced t-shirts and trunks that would
be desired and sponsor teams of professional surfers who would wear
the logo with pride and belong to it.”
The children, still confused, will ask, “They belonged to beard
oil companies?”
And we will, likely, give up.
But it is true, there was a time when the brands meant
something, their surfers were identified and poaching one was a
direct affront.
Thankfully, we have surfboard shapers carrying the mantle and
look, a major coup just announced as Channel Islands has poached
Hawaiian stud Barron Mamiya from rival Sharp Eye.
Ooooeee.
But what do you think the mood is San Diego, where Sharp Eye
calls home? Revenge being plotted? Fear that small wave world
champion Filipe Toledo might be next? Landing with Mayhem?
What about the mood in Ventura, where Channel Islands calls
home? Much toasting but also surveying the landscape? Who might be
next to bring over to the tri-hexagon?