A way forward for the beleaguered surf industry?

The surf industry is hurting. It is a known fact and not surprising though still sad. Sad like the dew on Neymar Jr.’s eyes. We used to tower above other industries in terms of “cool” and “style.” We used to parade down catwalks and models would look upon us with stars in their eyes. Movie stars wore us. Our titans ruled benevolently with names like Bob McKnight and Bob Hurley.

The world was our oyster and also Neymar Jr’s.

But then it wasn’t ours though still probably Neymar Jr.’s.

At first, the Quiksilvers, Billabongs, RVCAs, Hurleys and Rip Curls went into recession. They cut staff then cut staff again in various bids to “reorganize.” Next came selling to “management companies” or hedge funds that promised smarter and better “reorganization.” Finally all the brands were bundled into one brand dubbed Authentic Brands Group and turned into bath bomb companies.

Where to go from here?

While all hope seems lost, the aforementioned Neymar Jr. might provide an important key. You know the Brazilian soccer star as the “wildly close” pal of two-time world surf champion Gabriel Medina. The two regularly make splashes in Portuguese-language tabloids.

One, Midiario, wrote, “Communicators say that they (Medina and Neymar Jr.) have maintained a friendship since childhood, but it is not ‘normal’ to see that of men here.”

BeachGrit‘s Derek Rielly added, “Love rules, I think, and rarely fails to win.”

Might he have been prescient?

Enter Kim Kardashian

With the surf industry in tatters, Neymar Jr. has decided to take an underpants sponsorship from the newly launched Skims for Men.

Kim Kardashian co-founded the “shape wear” company that makes lounge wear, lingerie and accessories including bras, underwear, bodysuits. It now also makes men’s undergarments.

Kim Kardashian said, “To have an icon like Neymar Jr be the face of our launch campaign, along with NBA All-Star, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and NFL’s top Defensive Player Nick Bosa, I think speaks volumes to the way SKIMS has evolved into becoming a brand that can provide comfort for all audiences, not just for women.”

She did not sign, nor mention, Gabriel Medina but is that a possibility in the near future?

Kolohe Andino too?

Should BeachGrit quickly launch a men’s lingerie line in order to be on the bleeding edge of a “new-and-improved” surf industry?

Currently more questions than answers.

"They don’t see the danger, they just see it as some place beautiful and they want to jump in."

There are many dumb things to do on/for Instagram. Do a gender reveal party. Dress up the family up like Super Mario characters for Halloween. Create sandals from the moon and turtle shells. Delete all comments after being publicly accused of deception by an Academy Award-winning ex-girlfriend. Go somewhere in Oahu, take a selfie jumping off a cliff into the water and get swept out to sea.

China Walls, in the shadow of Diamond Head, is an ideal place for the latter. There is a beautiful park on the blue Pacific only thirty minutes from downtown Honolulu. The sun puts on a wonderful show when it sets though the wave, below, is one of the most dangerous on the island of Oahu. It is a left races along a lava shoal that turns into a scintillating cliff.

All very desirable and peak Instagram fire emoji-getter.

Except, as mentioned, disaster lurks.

On Thursday, a tourist from New York went to Oahu’s China Walls and jumped into the water. He hit his head on the lava ledge. The surf grabbed his body then attempted to take him down to Davey Jones’ Locker though thankfully, surfer Brian Lauro was there to save the day.

“I’ve seen bodies dragged all the way to the finger before and it was a big enough wave,” he told the local ABC news affiliate. “I was able to spot him in the water and he was face down right off the point of the finger. Right near where there were some surfers, but he was face down and unconscious in the water.”

Lauro brought the unconscious man to shore where paramedics intervened.

Blame Oahu tourist maps

Lauro blamed tourist maps that make Oahu’s China Walls look user-friendly.

TripAdvisor, a go-to resource for barneys, calls China Walls “breathtaking” and insists tourists go and jump and enjoy.

Hawaii Vacation Fun adds, “If you’re interested in geology or if you just want a nice backdrop for your family Hawaii vacation photo, make a quick stop at China Walls during your scenic Hawaii sightseeing adventure. Don’t worry… it’s not as boring as I just made it sound.”

Lauro shook his head. He said, “(The tourists) just don’t know the water, they don’t know the waves. They didn’t see the five signs entering the park that said the waves break on the ledges and it’s dangerous surf. It’s one of the most dangerous places in the state. They don’t see it that way, they just see it as some place beautiful and they want to jump in.”

Tourists, man.

Especially on Oahu.

"Nearly every wave is a closeout. Everyone who surfs here is an absolute barney."

Southern California’s El Porto received the dubious honor of being dubbed region’s “worst wave.” Salty Beards, purveyor of organic body washes and beard oils, took to Instagram in order to share:

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Guys, we are at the shittiest wave in Southern California for the hundredth day in a row. This is fucking El Porto. It is by far the worst wave in Southern California. Nearly every wave is a closeout. Everyone who surfs here is an absolute barney. It looks like it is going to be good but just never breaks… I swear it sucks.

El Porto is just off the coast of Manhattan Beach which has a population of 32,000. It is a “laid-back South Bay community popular with families and outdoor enthusiasts,” according to its Google Review.

El Porto is near the World Surf League’s new veterinary/animal trauma offices in El Segundo. It was recently site of a violent incident where a feisty woman stabbed Pauley Shore’s nephew’s surfboard with a small knife.

El Porto is former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan’s favorite place to surf.

Current World Surf League Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer hates it, though. She commented, “This is amazing and yes,” underneath Salty Beard’s damnation. Her honesty and negative opinion flew directly in the face of everything she has built in the “global home of professional surfing” during her climb to the top-adjacent.

Do you think the gasps of dying animals is clouding her otherwise spotless mind?

Will the muffled meows of suffering kittens finally bring down the Wall of Positive Noise?

More as the story develops.