"Nearly every wave is a closeout. Everyone who surfs here is an absolute barney."
Southern California’s El Porto received the dubious honor of being dubbed region’s “worst wave.” Salty Beards, purveyor of organic body washes and beard oils, took to Instagram in order to share:
Guys, we are at the shittiest wave in Southern California for the hundredth day in a row. This is fucking El Porto. It is by far the worst wave in Southern California. Nearly every wave is a closeout. Everyone who surfs here is an absolute barney. It looks like it is going to be good but just never breaks… I swear it sucks.
El Porto is just off the coast of Manhattan Beach which has a population of 32,000. It is a “laid-back South Bay community popular with families and outdoor enthusiasts,” according to its Google Review.
El Porto is near the World Surf League’s new veterinary/animal trauma offices in El Segundo. It was recently site of a violent incident where a feisty woman stabbed Pauley Shore’s nephew’s surfboard with a small knife.
El Porto is former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan’s favorite place to surf.
Current World Surf League Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer hates it, though. She commented, “This is amazing and yes,” underneath Salty Beard’s damnation. Her honesty and negative opinion flew directly in the face of everything she has built in the “global home of professional surfing” during her climb to the top-adjacent.
Do you think the gasps of dying animals is clouding her otherwise spotless mind?
Will the muffled meows of suffering kittens finally bring down the Wall of Positive Noise?
More as the story develops.