Culture war Oahu.

An social bomb rocked Oahu, overnight. The culture wars finally arriving at the outermost reaches of the American empire. For it was at the Kapolei Hale, a stone’s throw from Disney’s Aulani Resort and Spa, that the public met to argue . At issue, the very future of surf contests and swim events on the island.

Honolulu’s Department of Parks and Recreation rolled out potential changes to the application process for holding contests on both the north and south shores. The new business would include a ranking system that would award points based upon age, gender and ability.

Classic identity politics

Rather than organizing solely around ripping, identity political formations typically aim to secure the right to surf anywhere for a specific constituency marginalized within its larger context. Members of that constituency assert or reclaim ways of understanding their distinctiveness that challenge dominant characterizations, with the goal of greater self-determination.

Pipeline for all.

Hawaiian surfers are mad.

Mahina Chillingworth of Hui O Hee Nalu declared, “Queens and Pipe are different having same rules across board shouldn’t be allowed.”

David Stant Jr., also of Da Hui, added, “If we have 8 year-olds at 20 foot pipe but trying to meet requirements at pipeline at most dangerous spots in the world.”

Those who represent the South Shore are simply furious about the amount of contests run at places like the aforementioned Queens.

Tim Garry of Queens Surf Club said, “Queens is being abused. 36 days in the summer, families go to beach and there’s a contest every weekend. This is not right it excludes local people and we reject proposal by parks.”

The World Surf League did not send representation. Do you recall, though, six years ago, when the “global home of surfing” really put its foot in it and lost its preferred Pipeline window?

At the time, Honolulu’s mayor Kirk Caldwell told then-CEO Sophie Goldschmidt, “Please know the city fully appreciates the economic spending the WSL brings to the islands. As I’ve stated, this is an issue about fairness, not about money. You have stated that the changes are minor. If this is truly the case, we are perplexed that you would jeopardize your relationship to Hawaii on a minor change. I sincerely hope the WSL will continue to hold events in Hawaii, the birthplace of the sport of surfing.”

World Surf League, man.

We(don't)Work.

I am here to tell you the WSL is dead. They will crash and burn. No doubt.

I have spent the majority of my career in and around Silicon Valley as a founder, advisor and consultant. Over the last decade, I have learned what makes a startup successful and where the warning signs for failure are.

I have for years been saying that the WSL has the hallmarks of a rapid-growth startup- venture backed, charismatic leadership, desire to change the world, etc. That being said, the startups that the WSL is following aren’t the FAANG high performers. Instead, the startups that the WSL is emulating are the ones that have Netflix documentaries made about them, the Theranos, the WeWork, the Fyre Fests.

These startups have all followed a simple playbook of promise innovation, create a cult of personality, lie about success, silent dissenters, under deliver, allow execs to self deal, and ultimately burn in a blaze of non-glory and scandal, below is a sampling of how the WSL fits this mold and will ultimately crash and burn.

Initially, the WSL promised innovation and reinvention, much like WeWork, Theranos, and Fyre Fest, but much like those startups, failed to meet the mark. Teranos never delivered on the promise of the Edison the same way the WSL has failed to deliver on the promise of becoming a media company, elevate the sport, innovate competition, or doing really anything. The innovation that was promised has never been delivered upon and in the same way that the Edison was a shittier version of a Becton Dickinson Blood Reagent Analyzer, the WSL is a shittier version of the ASP.

In the same line of thinking, Silicon Valley has a long history of CEOs who become synonymous with their companies, like Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos and Adam Neumann of WeWork. WSL leaders have been treading a similar path. Markedly, Erik Logan had moved from an administrative role to an omnipresent figure at WSL events, eclipsing even the surfers at times, demonstrated at peak self-aggrandizing with a Filipe Toledo shirt wearing debacle . Similarly, Jesse Miley Dyer, through leadership seminars and public events, is actively molding herself as a poster figure for the sport. Additionally and in the same regard, Dave Prodan, via his podcast, doesn’t just commentate on surfing, he often sets the moral and ethical tone of surfing, becoming an arbiter of what’s right and wrong in the sport and making things about him when they’re not.

Much like Silicon Valley companies that allegedly suppressed internal critics, including the documented instances of Theranos counsel harassing whistleblowers, the WSL has shown similar tendencies. The controversial decision to prevent surfers from sporting Bethany Hamilton jerseys signaled an authoritarian streak in this same regard. Moreover, Logan’s public warning against raising concerns over potential judging bias displays an intent to control the narrative at all costs. Additionally, Prodan’s approach, particularly his political name-calling and the quick removal of dissenting “Dave Prodan Killed Surfing” stickers at Trestles hints at an intolerance for alternate viewpoints.

Misrepresentation of success metrics, a tactic Silicon Valley snake oil salesmen, such as Holmes’ fudging of the Edison’s accuracy or Fyre Fest’s misrepresentation of Fyre Fest preparedness, has often been criticized as a quick way to convince investors that all is well and appears prevalent in WSL’s strategy. Logan’s optimistic portrayal of viewership figures, often without substantial evidence, mirrors the inflated claims that led to the downfalls of many tech startups. Prodan’s feigned excitement of the mid-year cut seemed to put lipstick on a pig and signal the same, even when rebuked by Connor Coffin to his face and while actively rebutted by tour surfers.

These Silicon Valley startups also have a history of self-dealing. A prime example is WeWork’s Adam Neumann, who had questionable real estate dealings with his company that ultimately didn’t pass the smell test. These dealings find a counterpart in Logan’s endeavors with Apple TV. Logan’s dual role as a WSL CEO and the executive producer for Apple TV’s “Make or Break” rings alarm bells about potential conflicts of interest, reminiscent of many a Silicon Valley scandal.

When it comes to pushing narratives, Holmes’ unwavering faith in Theranos’ flawed Edison machine is paralleled by WSL’s insistence on wave pools, mid year cut, and the unpopular finals day format, even in the face of clear community opposition across all levels of leadership.

At its core, the WSL, by seemingly adopting a Silicon Valley playbook marred with controversies, is setting itself up for an inevitable downfall. Silicon Valley’s history is littered with companies that were driven by ego, suppressed criticism, misrepresented success, and lost touch with their user base, eventually leading to their implosion. The WSL’s current trajectory appears ominously familiar.

As the surfing community watches, the hope remains that the WSL will recalibrate its compass, but it’s unlikely and I fear that the coffin nails are being hammered for competitive surfing. For a sport so deeply connected with nature’s rhythms, its governing body’s alignment with flawed corporate strategies seems stupid and disingenuous. We are a community that yearns for WSL leadership that resonates with the sport’s core values, but its seeming more and more that the League will crash against the very waves it seeks to champion and, well, die like Theranos and FyreFest or even worse, rust like a WeWork.

We deserve better.

Take off, hoser.

Surfing’s grand entry into the Olympics has been a wonderful study in unity. A glorious reflection of John Lennon’s most pure ideals. “Imagine there’s no countries, it isn’t hard to do…” Yes, thanks to the Olympics, Australian surfers instantly transform into Japanese surfers, Brazilian surfers transform into Irish surfers  and American surfers transform into…

…but wait, what jingoistic light through yonder window breaks? It is the north, and Canada is displaying wild, unfettered nationalism.

In a cruel and sadistic slam, the country’s federal government just rejected sweet 16-year-old Erin Brooks‘ attempt to fly the maple leaf over Teahupo’o. The surf prodigy who was born in Texas but raised in Hawaii has a father who holds dual American-Canadian citizenship and a grandfather who was born in Montreal.

Avoir le feu au cul!

Alas, that fine heritage was not enough for the powers that be. In a letter explaining the decision not to grant a “discretionary grant of citizenship,” to Brooks, Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada says she did not meet the requirements to go full Canuck.

“The application is refused on the basis that the applicant is not stateless, has not experienced special or unusual hardship or provided services of an exceptional value to Canada which warrants a discretionary grant of Canadian citizenship,” it said.

Three kinds of rude, right there.

Jeff Brooks, Erin’s papa, was frustrated but not bent, signaling he will appeal the decision.

“She wants to surf [for Canada] because she wants to represent her family and her heritage,” Jeff said in an interview with the CBC. “And it’s just been an uphill battle … But I’m proud that she’s sticking to her guns and she wants to go through the complete process and give it everything she has. We’ve talked about it. If it doesn’t work out and she does have to walk away one day from Canada, she can do it with her head held high knowing she gave it everything she had and she tried her best to represent the country she feels the most tied to.”

Will Canada care or will red and white hearts remain frozen like the tundra?

More as the story develops.