Canadians (pictured) unaccepting. Photo: Strange Brew
Canadians (pictured) unaccepting. Photo: Strange Brew

Olympic surf hopeful Erin Brooks savagely denied citizenship by Canada which cruelly cites her “lack of experiencing hardship” as reason

Take off, hoser.

Surfing’s grand entry into the Olympics has been a wonderful study in unity. A glorious reflection of John Lennon’s most pure ideals. “Imagine there’s no countries, it isn’t hard to do…” Yes, thanks to the Olympics, Australian surfers instantly transform into Japanese surfers, Brazilian surfers transform into Irish surfers  and American surfers transform into…

…but wait, what jingoistic light through yonder window breaks? It is the north, and Canada is displaying wild, unfettered nationalism.

In a cruel and sadistic slam, the country’s federal government just rejected sweet 16-year-old Erin Brooks‘ attempt to fly the maple leaf over Teahupo’o. The surf prodigy who was born in Texas but raised in Hawaii has a father who holds dual American-Canadian citizenship and a grandfather who was born in Montreal.

Avoir le feu au cul!

Alas, that fine heritage was not enough for the powers that be. In a letter explaining the decision not to grant a “discretionary grant of citizenship,” to Brooks, Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada says she did not meet the requirements to go full Canuck.

“The application is refused on the basis that the applicant is not stateless, has not experienced special or unusual hardship or provided services of an exceptional value to Canada which warrants a discretionary grant of Canadian citizenship,” it said.

Three kinds of rude, right there.

Jeff Brooks, Erin’s papa, was frustrated but not bent, signaling he will appeal the decision.

“She wants to surf [for Canada] because she wants to represent her family and her heritage,” Jeff said in an interview with the CBC. “And it’s just been an uphill battle … But I’m proud that she’s sticking to her guns and she wants to go through the complete process and give it everything she has. We’ve talked about it. If it doesn’t work out and she does have to walk away one day from Canada, she can do it with her head held high knowing she gave it everything she had and she tried her best to represent the country she feels the most tied to.”

Will Canada care or will red and white hearts remain frozen like the tundra?

More as the story develops.

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Larry LaRose
Larry LaRose
2 years ago

As a Canadian Brazilian, I can say that ‘most’ Brazilians add little value to Canadian society. Based on the reasons she was declined, she applied under the ‘refugee’ status program. A non-starter for anyone going into Canada from Brazil. This article is absurd. You can’t just force your way in because you have a cute surf-board. This is a Xenophobic article and as such, the writer has no credibility whatsoever.

7dollarsurfboard
7dollarsurfboard
2 years ago

Not much different to surfing Bali and getting a plastic bag wrapped around your face

heliosart pacifica
heliosart pacifica
2 years ago

She LOVES Canada.

heliosart pacifica
heliosart pacifica
2 years ago
tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

and lose a finger, a hand, an arm?

justiceminister
justiceminister
2 years ago

I will tell her not to be bothered by such pettiness from a country ruled over by a turd called Trudeau. By the time of the next Olympics in 4 years time she will rule the world of surfing. A shoe in for the USA team and all that Canadian nonsense a distant memory.

heliosart pacifica
heliosart pacifica
2 years ago

Canada’s immigration laws are among the most strict on the planet. Apparently her USA born dad wasn’t aware. He’s just trying to game the system. He’s in his 40s but long since retired, so he probably has plenty of time and money to play these stupid games.

justiceminister
justiceminister
2 years ago

You obviously have an agenda but I don’t know what and I don’t give a damn either. I would suggest the canucks may have an agenda against Mr Brooks as you sound like you have too. Gaming the system. Yer what mate.

And then of course theres the matter of Cody Young going for them in the Olympics.

Those berks that made this decision will be kicking themselves after her performance in Brazil this weekend as they have kicked into the bin the best chance they will ever have of winning an Olympics gold medal in women’s surfing.

Still they got the all American boy from Kauai to fall over on. Double standard bollox.

Anyways Erin will be wrapped in the star bangled banner at the LA Games in 2028 when she proudly wears the Olympic gold medal round her American neck.

heliosart pacifica
heliosart pacifica
2 years ago

But she doesn’t want to surf for America, she wants to surf for Canada because she loves Canada! (or Germany, etc according to her dad and whatever gets he to the Olympics.)

I really hope her dad’s words come back to bite him in the ass and that she never wins a medal under the flag of the Americans.

Mike
Mike
2 years ago

Wow wish we could pull this for Merica🤘. Guess the Canadians are a pinch smarter than I thought

Com Turren
Com Turren
2 years ago

Those USA carriers in the area are there as much as a deterrence to Iran/Syria/Lebanon as they are to reassure Israel that its very existence is not threatened. Because if Israel starts thinking that, it will nuke Iran without thinking twice, and then it’s WW3 if Russia decides to get involved, though I think that Russia would let Iran get glassed without actually lifting a finger at this point.

discosaurus
discosaurus
2 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

So the Patriots are being deployed to shoot down the Israeli nukes, While the palestinians are on an Exodus to Egypt! Poetic hamster wheels.

heliosart pacifica
heliosart pacifica
2 years ago

WELL SIR, if you had done your homework you would know that she has recently relocated from Texas to Tofino, where she lives when she’s not traveling Judging from her schedule it’s probably a few weeks out of the year at “home”.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
2 years ago

About time a country called out these nationality sell outs , poor form .
Erins dad sounds like a bit of a cunt too

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
2 years ago

Erin “doesnt provide exceptional services to Canada “
Obviously, Canada doesn’t give a single fuck about surfing.
Bravo!

7dollarsurfboard
7dollarsurfboard
2 years ago

If she wore a burka there wouldn’t be an issue

PacificNorthPest
PacificNorthPest
2 years ago

Canadian surfers are kind of dicks. She’ll need to up her entitled local game a bit ….

Filipe’s Fat Tire
Filipe’s Fat Tire
2 years ago

Almost as dickish as surfers from the PNW

PacificNorthPest
PacificNorthPest
2 years ago

Yep, its a continuum that doesn’t recognize borders

discosaurus
discosaurus
2 years ago

Bit tired of all the dicks and cunts you’all’s grabbing for, for lack of an enlightened vocabulary…

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
2 years ago

Meanwhile the Canadian surfer in the men’s division (cody young) was born in Kauai and will go to the Olympics as a snap frozen, not as a seppo.

Someone better call surf equity to sort it out!

JOB's second chin
JOB's second chin
2 years ago

Get good enough to make team America kook!

Stick man
Stick man
2 years ago

Dammm and Kaipo just said ” A convincing win for Canada!”

Stick man
Stick man
2 years ago

She IS about to win this Challenger in Brazil it looks…let’s go Live for the men’s final! Hurry up!

c4
c4
2 years ago
Reply to  Stick man

Little ripper for sure.

Com Turren
Com Turren
2 years ago

Look on the bright side Erin—that citizenship spot you were denied will at least go to a Gaza refugee who will then march through the streets of Montreal holding up a sign that says “Death to all Israelis”

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
2 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

If only her name was erin brookberg she could surf for israel. Win win!

Com Turren
Com Turren
2 years ago

Maybe not the best career choice though, given that the House of Saud is going to prohibit Jewish surfers from competing when it buys the WSL

Stick man
Stick man
2 years ago

Can’tada

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
2 years ago

She wants to surf for Canada because she didn’t qualify for the American team. Erin is the Irish word for Ireland, maybe she can try that as an excuse to join the Irish team

heliosart pacifica
heliosart pacifica
2 years ago

The CBC article has Jeff Brooks looking sleazy. The casual mention of the cancer, their house burning down, etc. Followed by Jeff turning his nose up at the end and saying other countries are vying for her.

c4
c4
2 years ago

Damn bummed to hear she has a messed up dad.

Mapski
Mapski
2 years ago

Irish olympic status questionnaire: 1. Do you have any Irish in you? 2. Would you like some?


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