We are living in weird times. The far left
loves the FBI, populists love corporate tax relief and the World
Surf League was not able to grease Honolulu’s civic wheel enough to
move its Pipeline Masters permit to January for the 2019 season.
Would you like me to recap?
Earlier this month it was revealed that the WSL missed its
filing deadline in order change its current permitted window from
mid-December to mid-January for 2019. This is necessary, of course,
for the new-look tour which begins in Hawaii and ends in Indonesia
with stops at not Trestles and Surf Ranch along the way. Honolulu’s
mayor, Kirk Caldwell, took a hard line initially, press releasing
his displeasure at the WSL’s strong-arm tactics.
WSL CEO Sophie Goldschmidt flew to Hawaii in order to work out
details but today, Mr. Caldwell rejected the bid in the name
of “fairness.”
“Please know the city fully appreciates the economic
spending the WSL brings to the islands, but as I’ve stated, this is
an issue about fairness, not about money. You have stated that the
changes are minor, and if this is truly the case, we are perplexed
that you would jeopardize your relationship to Hawaii on a minor
change. I sincerely hope the WSL will continue to hold events in
Hawaii, the birthplace of the sport of surfing.”
What happens now? Everything will get fixed and quick is
what.
Of course this story can be rolled and spun and chewed as WSL
incompetence and/or Honolulu greed and/or some fat transplant’s
chance to riff on “the way things are done on the islands” but
really who the hell cares? Professional surfing is an important
economic/cultural driver in Hawaii. The World Surf League is the
only organized multilateral representation of professional surfing.
The two will very soon work out a proper way forward and that will
be the end.
But we do live in weird times so I’ve already read lots of surf
media posts punctuating the importance of getting paperwork in on
time and playing by the rules etc. What the hell is that?
The only thing I want is more local wildcards in the Pipeline
Masters. I want Honolulu to press its momentary advantage and stick
30 of ’em in there. Don’t you?
Viva Jamie O!
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All she needs is your surfboard and then you're
rich!
Invest: New opportunity in surf!
By Chas Smith
Don't let this trend pass you by!
Are you, like me, easily lulled into
complacency? Expecting that nothing is going to really change, that
the status quo has too much inertia? Then one day as you are doing
your normal routine you realize BAM some great shift has occurred
and you were too slow, to dense, to see it coming?
Like Bitcoin. I remember first hearing about the cryptocurrency
a few years ago and thought, “Lame-o. Now computer nerds can have
something to trade when they’re not trading Dungeons and Dragons
stuff.” And then I was left behind, the river of progression
sweeping past as I entertained myself with dated caricatures.
I don’t want to be backward and so this morning I read of a new
currency trading in Australia and thought it would be remiss not to
at least bring it to your attention.
Self-portraits of Chinese people surfing have become valuable
commodities.
The Newcastle Herald reports:
“For Australians, splashing in the water is something we’ve
done since we were kids. For Chinese visitors, however, it is
something unique and can be very daunting,” says Dr
Gardiner.
She says they want to experience the surf and have a
quintessential Gold Coast holiday.
“From a tourism perspective, being able to get an amazing
photo of (themselves) riding a wave on a surfboard that they can
share with their friends in China is by far the most sought-after
Australian experience,” she says.
“It even tops a photo with a koala.”
And can you imagine that? I bet the “photo with koala” industry
in Australia does very well, generating millions of dollars of
revenue and hundreds of jobs. You don’t have a koala but you do
have a surfboard and a phone. What’s stopping you from cutting off
a slice of this new pie? There would be some danger, I suppose, in
approaching what you imagine to be a Chinese man with with your
board and phone and have that Chinese man turn out to be Peter Schroff but
fortune favors the bold.
Don’t be sitting at home when your neighbor becomes the
multi-millionaire Chinese Surfing Selfie King.
Go forth and prosper.
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This is Pritamo Ahrendt, your new Head Judge. A lovely
man, smart, rips and so forth. The question I have here is, why the
cruel photo WSL? Are there no hairdressers in Santa Monica? A can
of hairspray at a pinch? Couldn't you have toned down the side
light? Chris Hemsworth would have trouble dealing with that sorta
lighting. | Photo: WSL
News: Rich Porta quits as WSL Head
Judge!
By Derek Rielly
The lovely Pritamo Ahrendt takes peachy
job…
Rich Porta quits?
Well, not exactly quits, concede a brother the chance for a
clickbait headline, but former Head Judge Rich Porta will soon
“transition into a development role for the WSL.”
In a press release received a few minutes ago,
“The World Surf League (WSL) announced the appointment of
Pritamo Ahrendt as WSL Head Judge. Ahrendt will take over the
position previously held by Rich Porta, who will transition into a
new role for the League.
“Ahrendt joined the Championship Tour judges’ panel in 1999,
and has worked closely with Porta and the WSL Commissioners’ Office
in recent years, serving as an Associate Head Judge at the
Championship Tour level. As WSL Head Judge, Ahrendt will oversee
the consistency and accuracy of scoring across the judges’ panel
alongside his other Head Judge duties. He will also work within the
Commissioners’ Office team to further develop WSL Judging
programs.
“It has been an honor to work for the WSL/ASP for the past
19 years, and I am humbled to move into the role of WSL Head
Judge,” said Ahrendt. “It has been a privilege to watch the highest
level of surfing and to critically analyze it. I am excited for
this opportunity to oversee the panel and ensure the judging is
fair and consistent, while also adapting as the world’s best
surfers break down new performance barriers.”
“Ahrendt brings over 19 years of experience to the WSL. He
began as a Touring Judge at age 21 and was key to modifying the
judging criteria to reward progressive maneuvers. Ahrendt’s vast
knowledge and foresight will be invaluable in evolving the judging
criteria in step with the progression of the world’s best
surfers.”
It’s true, Pritamo does rip, he’s a decent sorta cat and will
serve the role with distinction.
As for Rich, he wore a lot of heat as Head Judge, some of it
warranted – the obsession with “Wraps” and the deluge of tens last
year for example – but mostly not. What I liked about Rich was his
transparency. It was a candour that would take you by surprise and
make you wish you had a few harder questions up your sleeve
“As I enter what I will later learn is called the Circle of
Overscore, pro surfers wander naked serving food. Two of the four
“studs” or “cockmongers” (a young pro chosen for his large penis)
fondle each other in front of the judges, which arouses them
greatly. During a search for the “cockmonger” with the firmest
buttocks, the Brazilian Felipe Toledo is chosen and is gifted a win
in the US Open, which will conclude the following afternoon.”
I do wish Rich the very best. A job well-ish done, I think.
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Here, from left, Pete "Yella Face" Schroff, Joel Tudor
and Shane Dorian.
Three-way: Dorian v Tudor + Schroff!
By Derek Rielly
A debate on the delicate topic of made-in-Asia
surfboards…
If you’ve kicked around here even
for us the past few months, you would’ve seen
the myriad stories about shaper Peter Schroff’s war against
made-in-Asia surfboards.
The sixty-three-year-old shaper from Newport Beach in
California, the darling of eighties surf chic, has fashioned
himself as the anti-imported surfboard and fiercely anti-Asian,
provocateur.
He has used a chainsaw to cut in half an (imitation) Hypro
Krypto and, lately, he’s been targeting the Kelly Slater-owned
Firewire surfboards and Slater Designs, all of
whom manufacture surfboards in south-east Asia.
(They’re not the only countries who enjoy the considerable
economic benefits of Asian labour, of course. Most of the
carbon-wrapped boards you see are made in Thailand or Vietnam.
JS, Lost and so on. Have a look at the tail of
your board.)
Two days ago, Shane Dorian, whose son Jackson is Kelly’s godson,
who rides Slater Designsand who was a guest at Surf Ranch, weighed
into the debate on Schroff’s admittedly poorly subscribed Instagram
account on the side of Asian-made boards.
“Imported goods don’t sell because they’re imported,” wrote
Shane. “People buy the board they want to ride. Just like you buy
the car you want to drive and the food you want to eat. If you have
an imported car, shop at Target or Cosco or wear Italian sunglasses
y8ou are unable to preach about buying local. The surf shops are
not the problem, imported boards are not the problem The problem is
people don’t want to ride your boards.”
Valid points, yes?
There’s a lot of back and forthing on the thread, which you can read
here, but it gets good when the longboarder Joel Tudor
suddenly bites after one commenter wrote:
“Ask @joeljitsuwhere his values were when he had
a full line of surftech longboards before he went all elitist and
purest. Look to the past and you’ll see your old weed maps black
belt buddy riding surf tech China longboards. While I don’t mind a
change of heart, be transparent about your past. Those boards paid
the bills at the time, now his child labor footwear does.
To which he replied, “I quit doing it because I saw the
damage it was doing to friends in surf factory’s here at home/also
wasn’t in retirement mode that I needed the extra income at the
cost of local builders …,takayama & velzy were the ones who
originally talked me into it ….over time realized that royalty
wasn’t worth the damage it was causing to the industry! Yes i smoke
weed ,witch has nothing to with this conversation- enjoy your
day.”
And, pointedly, to Shane, “Call me sometime & we can chat
about this stuff – I can give you some helpful insight on all this
stuff & where all the old school crew are coming from ….this isn’t
just a here at Home issue ….this effects all the factories world
wide that are owned & operated by surfers …the very people that
created the industry & write our checks all stated out mowing foam
or were around surf manufacturing! The easiest solution to all of
this is build them locally in each hub of sales …aus , Europe ,
Hawaii , Japan , USA , Brazil have excellent factories & builders
who actually surf ….hence keeping it in the hands of surfers …also
most the countries with exception to Brazil have a active EPA that
call bullshit on all the corners FireWire is cutting to avoid
losing profit …..acetone recycling…charcoal filters …fire marshals
…EPA are all realistic things we should deal with in a attempt to
keep our stuff somewhat clean – pretty much a way of life for most
world who build Surfboards.”
Shane replied, “I agree with a lot of what you are saying. All
I’m saying is complaining about imports or anything else does
nothing except make people look like whiners. Anyone can talk, and
there is a lot of that here. It’s easy to see the problems and
point fingers and place blame. Anyone can do that. The surf
businesses, including the surf shops are adapting just to barely
stay alive. It’s all changing so quick and to me it looks like
trying to stop the tide from coming in, unfortunately.”
You, yes you, tell me: are Asian-made boards a tide
coming in? Does it matter?
Here's Kelly, winning the Volcom Pipe contest in
2016.
Blood Feud: The WSL vs. Hawaiian
politics!
By Chas Smith
The possibility of a Pipeline-free 2018 world tour
a quiet reality!
And oooo-ee things really are on a collision
course on beloved Oahu between the World Surf League and Honolulu’s
city council. David Lee Scales informed me of the kerfuffle during
yesterday’s podcast recording, even using the word “kerfuffle” to
describe (listen here!)
but at the time I was slightly underwhelmed. It seemed like trivial
posturing that would inevitably work out. Today, though, the sky is
ominous and could the WSL actually get booted from Pipeline?
By way of recap and according to Hawaii’s ABC affiliate, the
League was late turning in permit paperwork and hoping to shift the
window to late January, where Volcom holds its Pipeline Pro contest
now. It seems like the sort of thing that gets worked out quickly
and with a few greased palms but after a night of long knives the
troubles seem more intractable.
Honolulu’s mayor said, “The Department of Parks and Recreation
must remain fair to those who followed the rules. However, WSL
believes the city should grant their request without hesitation,
outside of the established rules, because of their economic impact
to the community.”
Fred Hemmings, father of modern professional surfing, parried,
“I find it ludicrous that civic leaders can’t see the wisdom in
highlighting the Triple Crown as an asset to Hawaii. And giving it
the permits needed to continue this tradition.”
To which the WSL responded it is, “reluctantly exploring
alternative solutions.”
Volcom/RedBull, who have the now coveted January spot, have not
released a statement but Da Hui, which runs the Backdoor Shootout,
released the following, “By eliminating another event (the Pipeline
Pro) that gives them (Hawaiian surfers) opportunities that will be
detrimental to them. Although the WSL caters to worldwide surfers,
here in the Hawaii we’re family — we’re concern about our own
kanaka maoli surfers.”
It is impossible to imagine the World Surf League not somehow
working this out but if it has, indeed, lost its permit will the
lack of Pipeline on the calendar taint the eventual 2018 champ?
Furthermore, can professional surfing at the highest level work
without Pipeline? I argued yesterday, on the podcast, that it
cannot. Pipeline is the most iconic wave in the world and the only
one that is an absolute necessity. Teahupoo could go away, J-Bay
could go away, Snapper, Bells, Supertubos could all go away and it
would be sad but not devastating. Losing Pipeline would be
devastating.
