Minds blown. Photo: Instagram
Minds blown. Photo: Instagram

Surf star Kelly Slater’s sublime relationship to animal kingdom praised after release of shark-inspired surfboard

Minds officially blown.

Kelly Slater is the world’s greatest surfer. This we all know and formally agree upon. His eleven world titles will never be matched. His innovation and flair second to none. His indelible mark upon this, the surfing world, shall never be erased which is exactly why, by definition, it is indelible. And yet somehow, in someway, the man who once invented the carving 360 continues to surprise.

But let us examine his most recent turn as designer. The 56-year-old has long lent his name to various products like magic purple juice and easy listening folk rock though he has rarely been deeply involved in the creative process.

Until now.

For now Kelly Slater is letting his mind run free, conjuring and conceiving. Putting pen to paper or at least mouth to Apple Phone voice notes.

The main inspiration?

His sublime relationship to the animal kingdom, of course.

First came the sandal that celebrates the heretofore unknown connection between the majestic sea turtle and the moon. The KLLY press release revealing, “For the design of the sandal, Kelly was particularly moved by the mysterious and special relationship between the moon and sea turtle. Turtles have 13 large scales that represent the 13 lunar cycles in each year and 28 smaller scales that represent the days in each cycle. As a tribute to these coexisting forces, Kelly designed the top of the sandal to mirror the moon’s surface while the bottom sole represents the turtle’s scales.”


But not a one off for now we have a surfboard based on the outline of a great white shark. Slater says that he had been collecting pictures of the man-eating beasts for years, keeping them in a folder. One day, whilst in Indonesia, he approached shaper Mike Woo and said, “Hey, I have this idea. I want to make this board that is the outline of a great white…”

Woo, in Slater’s retelling, was absolutely blown away, responding, “Are you serious?????”

He was serious and now the dream is a reality.

The question, now, is what’s next?

An electric car inspired by the orangoutang? A coffee mug lifted straight from the mighty carpenter ant?


“Ricochet the Surfing Dog” to be immortalized with statue like Kelly Slater, Duke Kahanamoku, Cardiff Kook

Your help needed.

One of the highest honors in all of surfing is to have a statue erected. A monument to one’s contribution to sliding upon the sea. There are surprisingly few statues of surfers, only four that I can think of off the top of my head, in fact. Kelly Slater in Cocoa Beach, Yancy Spencer III in Pensacola, Duke Kahanamoku in Honolulu and Kook in Cardiff-by-the-Sea.

A fifth will soon join the ranks.

“Ricochet the Surfing Dog.”

The beloved Golden Retriever sadly passed away last March after a battle with liver cancer though her life was full. Ricochet used her surfing skills to bring joy to many, including veterans suffering PTSD. She traveled north and south, east and west, mostly going straight in the whitewash but sometimes bashing the lip.

Ricochet not only surfed but was an author.

Artist Susan Bahary, renowned for creating “inspiring dog sculptures” is not about to let the pup’s memory fade. She is asking the public to help raise $145,000 in order to create the bust which will, hopefully, live forever in Del Mar.

Per the National Service Animals Memorial website:

All funds will go to NSAM strictly for the building of our Memorial and a full tax donation will be given. Our sculptor, Susan Bahary, is offering her artistic services at no cost, other than for the mold and casting costs. Therefore, you will be helping to build the Ricochet memorial at the same time your donations will help build the National Service Animals Memorial in the nation’s Capital!

It will look like this, hopefully.

Dig deep.

Cop on four-wheel bike almost runs over two little girls on Oahu beach
Two happy lil girls come (relatively) close to gruesome end on Oahu beach.

Graphic: Cop on quad-bike almost crushes two little girls playing on Oahu beach

"It was pretty heavy, and she was going at a very fast pace.”

North Shore locals are furious after a cop on a quad-bike almost took out a couple of little girls playing on the beach a couple of days back. 

Here’s the scene.

Three Honolulu Police Department cops on quad bikes are stymied in their progress by two little girls playing in the middle of the beach. 

Instead of, say, asking the kids to move or taking a different line, the head cop, just…drops it… and flies around the kids, missing ‘em by a couple of feet. 

The former pro turned surf coach Kahea Hart posted the video on his account yesterday.

And, after apologising for the quality of the footage, the filmer freaked out when he thought he was going to see a kid squashed, Hart narrates the vision as it switches to slow-mo: 

“These two little girls are lying on the beach, no clue to what’s behind them…she decides to gun it and comes to within two feet of these children. It was pretty heavy, and she was going at a very fast pace.”

Filling in a little background he writes

From what I understand… (the quad-bike patrols) are to prevent those popup influencers parties and holiday drinking on the beach but these patrols are out every weekend in the mornings speeding down the beach. 

Now, if an incident like this happens while on patrol how would these officers perform when there’s an actual emergency or some thing that needs to be addressed.

Like I said in the video, I felt very sorry for this officer clearly out of her element not enough training and experience on the machine or in the sand was done prior to the situation. I would not like her to lose her job, but a lot more time needs to be spent training a lot more time needs to be spent wisely with our taxpayers money. 

If these guys are in a patrol, it needs to be in the late afternoon, and when the sun goes down and the Chronic come out two case the vacant luxury second home along the beach. 

We who LIVE here know that but where is the thinking from the law enforcement and city of Honolulu?

As you might imagine, North Shore locals were unfavourably disposed towards the cops’ behaviour.

Why are they patrolling the beach so intensely? 3 officers needed for monitoring of families hanging out? So much for quiet peaceful time. Go away cops.

Whoever approved this nonsense of law enforcement atvs zooming on the beach should be held accountable. Where is the justification? I’ve seen them going so fast down the beach at crozier that I’ve been scared I’d be run over. Thank you for bringing this issue up. We the people, the law abiding tax payers are not having our money used in a way that is logical or providing safety to us.

Her expression while almost running over these kids is concerning, why the fuck is she smiling?

This is effing nuts! The police have absolutely no place on the beach, especially with our phenomenal lifeguards. During covid at the end of summer, I watched from a beachfront house as two cops, obviously answering a “concerned citizen” report, schlepped in closed shoes and street uniforms all the way out almost to the shoreline in the midday heat at Ke Iki, to issue tickets to a couple. These two had only been there for five minutes and were sitting, looking at the water to assess ocean conditions before getting in. There was not a single other person on the vast beach to “infect”. What a waste of taxpayer money, then and…still?! Fish out of water

Maybe would be better if they was patrolling at night when theives and chronics are on the hunt .. not to much crime during the day time on the beach. kinda just harassing and irritating.

They were also ripping right next to the surfers on Jet Skis this morning. Don’t know why we need police literally in the water with us while we surf.

And so on.

Have you ever had a nice experience with police?

And do you like the idea of cops banging down the beach on four-wheelers in the middle of the day while the thieves and vagabonds sleep in their lairs?

Slater(?) defended. Photo: Instagram
Slater(?) defended. Photo: Instagram

Kelly Slater’s girlfriend appears to clap back at Shakira after singer ensnares surf champ in thirst trap!

You may be in his DMs but you're not in his police report. We are not the same."

It is easy to blame a man, or woman, for stumbling in a relationship. Especially when that man, or woman, is notable. Direct messages filled with amorous petitions, flirty comments left underneath otherwise blameless photos, digital notes passed underneath digital tables. Easy to blame, yes. The happily coupled should, of course, avert eyes, stay focused, practice restraint and self-control. Should not fall prey to momentary lust that will certainly lead nowhere but perdition and/or a lawsuit.

Easy to blame, certainly, until Shakira lays a thirst trap.

The Colombian songstress with the voice of an angel is impossible to resist. Impossible from the tips of her toes through those truth-telling hips all the way up to the hair on her head.

Impossible and, much to the chagrin of men everywhere, Shakira is newly single having spectacularly broken up with Spanish soccer stud Gerard Piqué earlier in the year.

Enter Kelly Slater

One of Shakira’s first orders of business, post-split, was to go surfing. One of her second orders was to follow the world’s greatest surfer, Kelly Slater, on Instagram. Now, Slater all this would be fine and well except for the fact that the 11x champion has been in a committed and loving relationship with his Chinese girlfriend for nearly two decades. By all accounts, they appear very happy together, traveling the world with their small Chihuahua etc.

So why is Kelly Slater “liking” photographs of Shakira’s gam?

As previously stated, impossible to resist but in a new video, what must be Slater’s girlfriend claps directly back at the multi-time Grammy award winner and anyone else hoping for a little extracurricular Cocoa Beach cuddling.

The couple, who simply must be Slater and his girlfriend by the looks of it, are sitting in a car. That Slater figure is wearing a white tank top with a blue neckerchief  and sits quietly nodding while his girlfriend declares, “You may be in his DMs but you’re not in his police report. We are not the same.”

Shots fired.

Kelly Slater has a police report though?

For what?

Shakira’s a free woman, as of moments ago, too.

More as the story develops.

Raimana VB not under threat, thankfully, but others on Big Island jobless today. Photo: Instagram
Raimana VB not under threat, thankfully, but others on Big Island jobless today. Photo: Instagram

Bloody Friday on Big Island as surf school lottery goes horribly wrong!

“It wasn’t illegal, but it’s not pono."

Now, the adult learner explosion has been bad for many but also good for many. Costco, rinse kit manufacturers and surf schools, to name but three. Now, as the grumpy local knows, there can be such a thing as too much and certain beaches have too much surf schools. Various municipalities, trying to keep order, have turned to a permit solution, wherein operators must apply for official recognition in order to teach the Sport of Kings.

And let us make our way across the Pacific to Hawaii’s Big Island where a novel approach to regulation went horribly awry.

Seventeen hopeful surf school owners had gathered in the Old Kona Airport Pavilion, on Friday, waiting to see if they would receive one of only four permits being offered for the very popular Kalahu’u Bay. The Department of Land and Resources had decided to drop balls in a hopper, bingo style, in order to select the programs allowed to instruct the vulnerable.

The balls were dropped, spun and selected.

One person, Wesley Moore, getting three out of the four slots.

His companies were not created until 2021.

Green Stegehuis, who was born and raised in Kahalu‘u Bay and has been surf instructing for years was not happy, telling Big Island Now, “It wasn’t illegal, but it’s not pono [right]. This is right before the holidays and this is when we get our income. Our entire family is like what now, come Monday?”

Schools which have been operating for decades now shuttered.

Dan Dennison, spokesperson for the state Department of Land and Natural Resources that held the lottery, said it was all fair and square, per the rules, and nothing can be done. If Wesley Moore wanted to be a bro and kick a few of his permits to others, he’s not even allowed as they would go to the next on the waitlist.

Does Wesley Moore sound like a bro name?