Minds officially blown.
Kelly Slater is the world’s greatest surfer. This we all know and formally agree upon. His eleven world titles will never be matched. His innovation and flair second to none. His indelible mark upon this, the surfing world, shall never be erased which is exactly why, by definition, it is indelible. And yet somehow, in someway, the man who once invented the carving 360 continues to surprise.
But let us examine his most recent turn as designer. The 56-year-old has long lent his name to various products like magic purple juice and easy listening folk rock though he has rarely been deeply involved in the creative process.
Until now.
For now Kelly Slater is letting his mind run free, conjuring and conceiving. Putting pen to paper or at least mouth to Apple Phone voice notes.
The main inspiration?
His sublime relationship to the animal kingdom, of course.
First came the sandal that celebrates the heretofore unknown connection between the majestic sea turtle and the moon. The KLLY press release revealing, “For the design of the sandal, Kelly was particularly moved by the mysterious and special relationship between the moon and sea turtle. Turtles have 13 large scales that represent the 13 lunar cycles in each year and 28 smaller scales that represent the days in each cycle. As a tribute to these coexisting forces, Kelly designed the top of the sandal to mirror the moon’s surface while the bottom sole represents the turtle’s scales.”
Brilliant.
But not a one off for now we have a surfboard based on the outline of a great white shark. Slater says that he had been collecting pictures of the man-eating beasts for years, keeping them in a folder. One day, whilst in Indonesia, he approached shaper Mike Woo and said, “Hey, I have this idea. I want to make this board that is the outline of a great white…”
Woo, in Slater’s retelling, was absolutely blown away, responding, “Are you serious?????”
He was serious and now the dream is a reality.
The question, now, is what’s next?
An electric car inspired by the orangoutang? A coffee mug lifted straight from the mighty carpenter ant?
Exciting.
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For the surfer with the biggest carbon footprint he sure likes to make out that he’s one with nature end the environment.
Kelly has become a caricature. Its pathetic. No HamSammish.
Has a shaper but tells people how to buy firewire. Why not tell people to buy from your shaper or their local shaper instead? Friends don’t tell friends to buy china boards.
😁
such a visionary!
The fuck is volcanic glass? Are we laminating boards with obsidian now?
Looks like every other wing swallow twin fin thats been made since Free Ride.
Or not.
Been working on a sick new outline myself https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Been done
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
If this is fisher on the dick it’s kinda incredible how well he actually surfs that board
Its Chris Lake wearing a Fisher costume
It really is
A sex doll inspired by Joe Turpel,
This is very similar to my plan to create an artificial vagina modeled after a clam. Or even my less exciting venture, seeking to create an artificial clam modeled after a vagina !
I’m excited about both ventures
Wetness is the essence of beauty …
https://www.instagram.com/r…
So, the shark will mistake me for some minxy little number and try to fuck me, and because I’m actually not a shark and am just a pudgy middle aged white bread guy stuffed into recycled neoprene atop I-Bolic Technology with Volcanic Lamination, will get super pissed and then eat me? Swezza.
At least that’s the BS line he will use now that you fed it to him.
I can create booties that smell like a dead seal.
Seriously Charles, your inability to do simple fact checks of your own words will never cease to amaze. He ain’t 56 or even close. How much of your life is spent making up complete bullshit?
What in the holy hell is an orangoutang?
must be some kind of mounkey??
NFL players have been getting thier brains tested for CTE.
Surfers need thier brains tested for idk…something.
How about just testing Kelly to see if his brain is actually functioning?
It’s not just Kelly
No, but he is Raging Idiot #1.
I blame Wim Hoff. Some brains should be naturally slipping into middle age, sleep apnea oxygen deprivation.