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Kelly Slater (left) trapped by Shakira. Photo: Instagram

Surf icon Kelly Slater ensnared by deftly laid Shakira thirst trap!

The hips don't lie bone is connected to the leg bone...

Now, here is a question. Would you, right now, trade places with Shakira? On one hand, the Colombian chanteuse has it all. Multiple Grammy awards, millions of dollars, beautiful homes in Barcelona, Miami, Cypress. The love and support of fans worldwide. On the other hand, she is just beginning a tax evasion trial which could see her spend eight years behind Spanish bars. Though not as high a quality as French or Italian bars, still a dire prospect.

The 46-year-old, according to Spanish tax authorities, cheated the country out of some $26.4 million by claiming not to be living in Spain full-time while living in Spain full-time.

Tapas Trouble

120 witnesses are set to be called with the trail wrapping mid December.

While you area thinking on the matter, it should be noted that Shakira is currently single. She split from her boyfriend, the Spanish soccer star Gerard Piqué, a few months back and turned to surfing to mend a painful heart. Though a longtime surfer, Shakira wrote of the ocean’s cathartic properties immediately after the split.

She made an overture to the greatest surfer ever, Kelly Slater.

Though the 11x world champion is in a loving, committed relationship to his longtime Chinese girlfriend, surf pundits immediately began to wonder if he would have the fortitude, the grit to withstand the sultry songbird’s interest.

Kelly Slater Trips over Shakira’s Leg

Apparently, the surf pundits were right to worry for, days ago, Shakira posted a classic thirst trap to Instagram. Stretching before the Latin Grammys.

“And that’s how we stretch for the Latin Grammys,” she cooed while her gam was pulled, sensually, by a handsome dancer wearing Jean Paul Gaultier.

Liked” by Kelly Slater.

And so, back to our original question. Does the Slater wrinkle weight the scale differently? Multiple Grammy awards, millions of dollars, beautiful homes in Barcelona, Miami, Cypress, the love and support of fans worldwide and Kelly Slater’s attention?

It does for me.

Hola, celda.

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15 Comments
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SaltyHB

Cyprus.

tim_nelsen

flea will show us the way…mel is our benefactor~

tim_nelsen

fair weather warning~ahead!

ricmatic

One tiny step for a man. One insignificant misstep for mankind

tim_nelsen

UPS…

Com Turren

combined score of a less than 3.0 between two surfers in this Cold Water Classic Semi. Almost as laughly grim as it gets

Beef & Beer

Does Kalani know Kelly is constantly clicking and commenting on Shakira’s ‘stretching’ ?

Not unlike Elon’s latest rocket, could there be a RUD (Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly) of their loving, committed, longtime relationship in the nearish future ?

tim_nelsen

asked the magic 8-ball which responded:
try again later…
where’s my banger?

dad dad

what did that rocket crash into exactly.

ValiantScorn

reality*

dad dad

operation fishbowl…

tim_nelsen

no back door entry. frontside only. Shakira in Spain.

http://picture-cdn.wheretog…

Occ Topus

Nonsense.
That’s just crying out for backdoor entry.

ValiantScorn

WTF!? Now I want to read the comment that got this reply!!

Picard Madeoff

I find it mildly offensive that you guys infrequently objectify women!

Please step up the frequency you filthy, misogynists!


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