Makani Alexander (right) with dad. Photo: Instagram
Makani Alexander (right) with dad. Photo: Instagram

Son of North Shore enforcer Kala Alexander shot dead on Oahu

Tragedy in paradise.

Tragic news from Hawaii, this evening, as it has been reported that Makani Alexander, son of famed North Shore enforcer and WolfPak founder Kala Alexander, has been shot dead. The 25-year-old was in Waialua, near Haleiwa, late Sunday night when the shooting occurred.

Hawaii’s Daily News has shared that, “CPR was attempted on the 25-year-old victim in an attempt to revive him, but sadly, this attempt was unsuccessful. The sad announcement that the young man had passed away from his wounds was made this morning at 12:35 a.m.” though other information is scant.

An earlier version of the story used reporting that declared a shooter was at large. New information is that the tragedy was a result of an accident.

Messages from shocked and heartbroken friends are beginning to pepper social media.

Kala Alexander was a North Shore fixture throughout the 2000s as part of the Kauai crew including three-time World Champion Andy Irons. His name whispered in hushed tones by the visiting hordes hoping for a taste of glory. The New York Times profiled Kala and friends in 2009, writing, “They are known as the Wolfpak or simply “the boys.” They use fear and their fists to command respect in the surf along the North Shore of Oahu, a seven-mile stretch of some of the world’s most renowned waves. At the celebrated Banzai Pipeline, they determine which waves go to whom, and punish those who breach their code of respect for local residents and the waves.”

And, specifically about Kala:

The most notorious member is the group’s enforcer, Kala Alexander, a professional surfer with muscular tattooed arms and “Wolfpak” inked across his knuckles. In 2007, Alexander starred in “The 808,” a reality television series about the Wolfpak and the North Shore, and appeared in the films “Blue Crush” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”

More, certainly, as the story develops.

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Paramedics use Naxolene to bring Jackass star Poopies back to life after fentanyl overdose

“I remember doing a couple of key bumps. Then I was dead”

Jackass’ breakout star Sean “Poopies” McInerney, whom you’ll remember made his show biz debut as JOB’s crazy sidekick, has revealed he died, and came back to life obvs, after an unscrupulous street dealer sold him what was supposed to be cocaine but was actually fentanyl.

Poopies, who is thirty-seven, old enough y’think to lay off the gear, tells the story on his Jackass co-star Steve-O’s podcast.

Poopies describes feeling an overwhelming desire to “party”, had gotten “hammered on wine” and was “trying to do a bit of sniffy snacks.”

Following a show by another co-star, the comedian Rachel Wolfson, Poopies went to a Cabo Grill. While waiting in line, Poopies asked a “random person on the street for some cocaine.” 

Poopies purchased roughly half a gram, which cost him forty dollars. I know, I know, we pay five times that in Australia for crushed Panadols hosed in hairspray, but the US got Mex. 

Anyway, Poopies takes two key bumps, a technique where the key’s shaft is used to dig a small amount of coke out of the little plastic bag and brought to the active nostril or nostrils. 

Next thing Poopies knew, he woke up in an ambulance with Narcan syringes in his chest.

(Poopies thinks a “couple of super cool black chicks” he was talking to called 911.)

“They (paramedics) were, like, “He’s alive, wow, he’s alive.” 

As far as any profound glimpses of the beyond, Poopies describes his flirtation with death as going to “the darkest (place). Like, you know when you cover your eyes and then, like, and you keep layering it and it gets darker and darker. That’s what I saw. Like, the darkest colour. I was, like, what the? What’s going on, you know? And I was dead.”

Confessionals aren’t new for Poopies.

Over the years, he’s has revealed a secret past as a North Shore prositute and as a drug mule (Poopies says he did it twice, netting a total of four thousand dollars which, he says, he spent buying fast food for he and his pals at the Carlsbad 7-11).

And while he has achieved a podium of fame with his role in Jackass, his infamous stunt for Discovery Channel’s Shark Week has left Poopies with a gimpy hand that limits his mobility.

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Kelly Slater and Great White shark.
Kelly Slater and, right, his muse: the Great White shark. | Photo: @sensitiveseashellcollector

Kelly Slater Great White inspired twin-fin “highlights the vacuous model system underpinning the surfboard industry”

Do you see a selling point compared to the dozens of other identical shapes on the market?

News shared by Chas today that Kelly Slater has released a new board under his Slater Design label. This time collaborating with shaper Mark Woo. A performance twin.

Online purchases available just in time for Black Friday.

The hook?

This one mimics the outline of a Great White shark. Kelly Slater’s not the first to turn to nature for surfboard design. Greenough’s original revolutionary fin templates were of course copied from the dorsal of a tuna fish. While the Meyerhoffer was modeled off a merman’s dick.*

I find the performance twin-fish genre to be a lazy reach. Forgiving rails, wide point forward and carried through the middle. Refined, pulled in tail to allow responsiveness and tighter arcs in turns. Business at the front and party at the back, as they say. It’s about as ground-breaking as a Toyota saloon.

Every major shaping label offers its own iteration. You could argue Lost built its empire around it.

Lazy reach, maybe.

But, as with a Toyota, fuck it if they don’t work.

Like my latest vehicle of choice. It’s another $50 special from FB Marketplace. An older performance twin. 6’3″ x 19 1/2 x 2 1/2 or thereabouts. Full volume through the front, low rocker, beaked nose. Pulled right in through the tail. A subtle swallow. Fixed twin fins. Upright, toed in.

The thing hooks. I’ve surfed it in everything from weak one-foot point breaks to slabbing four-to-six-foot beachies. Speed, drive, hold, but with the right amount of release when you want it. Usual caveats on your backhand in the pocket. But all in all, worth every dollar I spent on it.

Fun fact: the fiberglass is breaking away around the tail, which cut my knees up everytime I surf it. Sort of like a self-flagellation for riding such a user-friendly shape. I don’t mind.

It’s shaped by Darren Symes, master of the holy SDV trinity. Single concave into double into vee through the tail. He’s responsible for one of the best boards I’ve ever owned, a mid noughties thruster that still holds pride of place in my mum’s back shed. One of those ones I can’t bring myself to throw away, even if I couldn’t ride the thing now.

Will this twinny end up in the same realm?

Probably not. But it’s fun as a fuck on an onshore day out the Point.

Back to Kelly Slater’s board, though.

Man’s certainly not scared to put his name to a product. Fins. Tail pads. Sports drinks. Wave pools. Sandals. Though to be fair, when it comes to boards, he’s usually focusing on high-performance at all costs. Seeing him enter the fish market might be the subtlest of concessions to his legacy. Of course there’s a Slater twist: this one has more nose rocker than your standard twin/fish.

Does it tickle your fancy at all?

Do you see a selling point compared to the dozens of other identical shapes on the market?

For me, it highlights the vacuous model system that underpins the entire board industry. Constantly tweaked iterations of the same three or four designs pumped out year after year. There’s a reason some of the top pros ride the same shape over and over, just with different sticker covering it up. They’re all the same in the end. Especially for us plebs.

My take?

The board looks like it would be fun as fuck too. And a fresh stick off the rack every now and then is alright to see what’s out there, while supporting your local retailer.

But find a design you like then go work with a trusted shaper to dial it in. Think globally, surf locally.

Or just be a povvo and buy them third hand like me.

*yeah ok not really

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Minds blown. Photo: Instagram
Minds blown. Photo: Instagram

Surf star Kelly Slater’s sublime relationship to animal kingdom praised after release of shark-inspired surfboard

Minds officially blown.

Kelly Slater is the world’s greatest surfer. This we all know and formally agree upon. His eleven world titles will never be matched. His innovation and flair second to none. His indelible mark upon this, the surfing world, shall never be erased which is exactly why, by definition, it is indelible. And yet somehow, in someway, the man who once invented the carving 360 continues to surprise.

But let us examine his most recent turn as designer. The 56-year-old has long lent his name to various products like magic purple juice and easy listening folk rock though he has rarely been deeply involved in the creative process.

Until now.

For now Kelly Slater is letting his mind run free, conjuring and conceiving. Putting pen to paper or at least mouth to Apple Phone voice notes.

The main inspiration?

His sublime relationship to the animal kingdom, of course.

First came the sandal that celebrates the heretofore unknown connection between the majestic sea turtle and the moon. The KLLY press release revealing, “For the design of the sandal, Kelly was particularly moved by the mysterious and special relationship between the moon and sea turtle. Turtles have 13 large scales that represent the 13 lunar cycles in each year and 28 smaller scales that represent the days in each cycle. As a tribute to these coexisting forces, Kelly designed the top of the sandal to mirror the moon’s surface while the bottom sole represents the turtle’s scales.”

Brilliant.

But not a one off for now we have a surfboard based on the outline of a great white shark. Slater says that he had been collecting pictures of the man-eating beasts for years, keeping them in a folder. One day, whilst in Indonesia, he approached shaper Mike Woo and said, “Hey, I have this idea. I want to make this board that is the outline of a great white…”

Woo, in Slater’s retelling, was absolutely blown away, responding, “Are you serious?????”

He was serious and now the dream is a reality.

The question, now, is what’s next?

An electric car inspired by the orangoutang? A coffee mug lifted straight from the mighty carpenter ant?

Exciting.

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“Ricochet the Surfing Dog” to be immortalized with statue like Kelly Slater, Duke Kahanamoku, Cardiff Kook

Your help needed.

One of the highest honors in all of surfing is to have a statue erected. A monument to one’s contribution to sliding upon the sea. There are surprisingly few statues of surfers, only four that I can think of off the top of my head, in fact. Kelly Slater in Cocoa Beach, Yancy Spencer III in Pensacola, Duke Kahanamoku in Honolulu and Kook in Cardiff-by-the-Sea.

A fifth will soon join the ranks.

“Ricochet the Surfing Dog.”

The beloved Golden Retriever sadly passed away last March after a battle with liver cancer though her life was full. Ricochet used her surfing skills to bring joy to many, including veterans suffering PTSD. She traveled north and south, east and west, mostly going straight in the whitewash but sometimes bashing the lip.

Ricochet not only surfed but was an author.

Artist Susan Bahary, renowned for creating “inspiring dog sculptures” is not about to let the pup’s memory fade. She is asking the public to help raise $145,000 in order to create the bust which will, hopefully, live forever in Del Mar.

Per the National Service Animals Memorial website:

All funds will go to NSAM strictly for the building of our Memorial and a full tax donation will be given. Our sculptor, Susan Bahary, is offering her artistic services at no cost, other than for the mold and casting costs. Therefore, you will be helping to build the Ricochet memorial at the same time your donations will help build the National Service Animals Memorial in the nation’s Capital!

It will look like this, hopefully.

Dig deep.

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