The king of little waves Filipe Toledo gives hell to Abu Dhabi tank!
So much heat enveloping the Kelly Slater-Adam Fincham-designed wave pool in Abu Dhabi yesterday, and not just from its dreamy location in the Persian Gulf.
Surfers took a break from giving hell to Jews defending their fragile state to give it to Slater for being part of the tank’s creation in the controversial Petrostate.
A few examples of surfers’ thoughts.
Yeah! Go “surf” in a fossil fueled cess pool in the midst of a Palestinian genocide! Genocide rhymes with Ecocide! Go Kelly Slater!
How appropriate: “surfing” in a fossil fueled cess pool in Arabia during the midst of Palestinian genocide!? Kelly Slater is such an inspiration! More carbon emissions per “wave” than the 20 hour flight (first class of course) from the white trash capital of the universe (Florida — or is it California? Same thing). Oh wait – Genocide rhymes with Ecocide! Go Kelly!
Did they try and just google a place with even less available water than Lemore and say 📍 that’s the spot?
Are women allowed?
Ugh. A shame he’s doing business in that neck of the woods.
and only 45 Nepalese slave labor workers died of heat stroke building it just so Kelly can surf while avoiding the common peasants taking his waves. what a modern marvel!
And so on.
For those unpolluted by a childlike take on Middle Eastern politics, Kelly Slater demonstrated the blue-water wave to perfection. He even treated his fans to a lightly aerated chop-hop at the wave’s eventual conclusion.
Now, footage has been released of the world’s best small-wave surfer Filipe Toledo at the controversial tank.
Filipe Toledo, who is twenty-eight, has the most well-rounded small-wave attack in the world. He has completed two world title wins in three-foot waves at Lower Trestles and in three events at the Lemoore tank has been runner-up twice, and a winner in 20021.
In waves three-feet and under he is untouchable, although Fillipe Toledo’s big-wave bona fides are yet to be proved.
Filipe Toledo amassando na nova piscina de ondas em Abu Dhabi
🎥: Baronifilms pic.twitter.com/0yKbJjcY8N
— Surf News Brasil 🌊 (@SurfNewsBrasil) November 7, 2023
swifty’s for pali’s is trending if you check the leaderboard…
there’s an analogy to be made about kelly’s insistence on riding alternative, non-CI, poor scoring craft and this replication of an already heavily criticized wave pool
it wasn’t 3 ft his last win. it was 4 ft
Can you get chia milk out of yours though?
Harem a go go for the in crowd. Smiles all around.
Yeah I’m pretty sure that they have “upstairs rooms” for people like Kelly and his ilk. Like in Jakarta
Keliwatu, just another toy for the rich.
Kelly is the sheik of shite
Won’t the Arab blokes’ cloaks get soaked ?
What effect will this have on the price of a barrel you think?
When the Iranian revolution happened a bunch a rich families that left bought mansions around here and the kids went to my high school. Not a fan of their attitudes.
How is it they seem to own every liquor store?
I think that’s Pakistanis. These people bought the most expensive houses in Belevedere.
I have trouble telling the difference
christian syrians…hope that won’t change!
Prepping for the Olympics.
Slater has abortions older than De Souza, so yeah. Was going to say he’s old enough to be his father, but it wasn’t crass enough.
I wonder if Slater asked them about Socotro.
Don’t undersell y’self. Yours are Way better!
Way Outthere?
I truly appreciate the copy paste of rage-cunt social media comments. I’m never going to seek them out, but when presented gift wrapped on a silver platter… sensational 🤌
I only come here to comment on comments about comments
Top comment!
“………….” anonymous
Fly Emirates?
Meh….
Well that was rather average for Filipe.
But when will they show the girls riding it ?
And will they have to wear burkini’s ?
Or get Lucy Small haircuts, for the full-face helmet look ?
It is a literal carbon copy of Lemoore. If anything it looks a bit smaller? And longer too. Great to see the negative feedback was taken on board, and then doubled down on.
I wonder if it’s just as slow between waves?
Wonder when the first comp will be?
I wanna see Efan take Ben Roberts-Smith’s title for best Aussie in the middle east while the brazzo’s go spastic
Would there be a women’s division?
Yep, sponsored by stone and wood
It’s Lemoore of the same
lol
Dear Beachgrit, every time you are thinking of writing an article about this environmental atrocity could you instead pen us articles on ADS!
That’s kind of you, always happy for a chat
Think I’ll ride a ten thousand dollar wave in the morning, then go hunting with my falcon and Lamborghini in the afternoon. The disparity of wealth over there is pretty disgusting.
Slater, what a tool smiling and laughing with that guy and his spoiled little shit kid.