Florida surf fans riot as beloved state university left out of college football playoffs

"Lets blame DeSantimonious!!!"

Florida’s panhandled surfers love, in order: Hooters, baby shark bites and Florida State football. The last a passion from Pensacola all the way east to Jacksonville, the only part that matters according to august surf photographer Jimmy “Cane” Wilson. Tomahawk chops all day long. And it was with much excitement that this gaggle came into the weekend. Much like professional surfing, at its highest level, college football is an absurdity with a group of elderly men meeting in Gaylord, Texas to decide which four teams will be included in the playoffs.

This year, the Seminoles were an unblemished 13 – 0 for the season. A perfect record and in a Power Five conference to boot with the ACC. Never in the history of the college football playoffs had an undefeated Power Five team been left out.

Until this year.

For this year, University of Texas, part of the Big 12, and Alabama, part of the SEC, each 12-1 leapfrogged Florida State leaving panhandled surfers, first, utterly depressed and, next, absolutely rage filled.

Florida’s Governor Tim Scott, who finds his office in Tallahassee where the Seminoles play, lashed out declaring, “While I doubt the committee’s decision will be reversed to rightly reward FSU for its hard-fought, undefeated season as the committee has done for other undefeated Power Five conference champions in recent years, I do believe that total transparency regarding how this decision was reached would do tremendous good for the committee, the CFP as a whole, and the college football community.”

Former United States President Donald Trump, now a Florida resident, added, “Florida State was treated very badly by the ‘committee.’ They became the first Power Five team to be left out of the College Football Playoffs. Really bad lobbying effort…Lets blame DeSantimonious!!!”

Surfers, energized, pulling pitchforks out of board racks and ready to march on Gaylord.

Will you join them?

Do you care about the World Surf League-ification of collegiate ball?

Should you?

More as the story develops.


Paramedics attempt to free the buried.
Paramedics attempt to free the buried.

Australian man in critical condition after burial in beach hole

"It was pretty gnarly when he popped out. I threw up."

We surfers, we who find our joy upon the waters, are well aware of lineup danger. Sharks, rabid seals, mean otters, SUP enthusiasts, influencers, coral, rock, vulnerable adult learners etc. The sand fronting those rolling waves, though, is entirely different story and I only see what I can only assume sun bathers deem “hazards” from afar, bobbing out at sea. An errant frisbee, maybe. Or whatever that spike ball thing is.

There is one horror that presents itself from time to time, however, that gives me deep chills. People who fall into sand holes and are buried alive.

The nightmare scenario occurred over the weekend on Bribrie Island, near Brisbane, when a 25-year-old Australian man fell into a six-foot-deep sand hole dug to cook a pig. Eyewitnesses report that Josh Taylor “stood up off the chair, the sand had given away a little bit underneath him. He stumbled back. He’d put his arms out to obviously to break the fall, he’s continued going down and knocked sand as he’s put his arms out.”

Sand quickly filled in and soon only his feet were poking out.

Those around jumped into action, trying to free the young man. “There were 15 fully grown men on the end of this rope and he still would not budge,” the bystander continued, “That’s when the paramedic was like pull him this way .. . the suction gave way and he popped out.”

Another described the pandemonium. “I realized someone was head first in a hole and I was just digging digging digging…All of his family, were screaming at us, telling us to help, telling us to get rope so we could pull him out. It was pretty gruesome. It was pretty gnarly when he popped out. I threw up.”

Taylor had no pulse but paramedics immediately began CPR, which they performed for 45-minutes until his heart started beating again.

“The fact that they have got a return of pulse on this young man after an extended period of CPR, is evidence that good CPR was being done, it’s a credit to those people who got in and helped with their first aid,” QAS Paramedic Peter Batt said.

He was rushed to Princess Alexandra Hospital where he remains in critical but stable condition.

A miracle but, boy, I cannot imagine anything worse.


João Chianca Pipeline wipeout and Instagram post slamming Paris 2024 organisers.
João Chianca, treated by lifeguards on the beach at Pipe and, inset, giving hell to Paris 2024 organisers.

Hours before near-fatal wipeout at Pipeline, Olympic gold medal favourite João Chianca slammed Paris 2024 organisers in brave post

“Surfing will never lose its principles for an Olympic event.”

A little before eleven this morn, the world number four João Chianca scooped a fine set at Backdoor, got a little hung in the lip, pin-dropped and…reef strike…unconscious, rescued by a local teenage hotshot.

João Chianca, who is twenty-three and the younger brother of big-wave surfer Lucas Chianca, was held underwater by multiple waves before being rescued by Eddie invitee Jake Maki.

After being stabilised on the beach by lifeguards, João Chianca was rushed by ambulance to The Queen’s Medical Centre in Honoulu where he remains in an unknown condition. 

The twenty three year old who “curb-stomped” Jack Robinson to win the MEO Rip Curl Pro in Portugal nine months ago was, and probs still is depending what happens in hozzy, the gold medal favourite for Paris 2024, which is being held at Teahupoo, as you know. 

As you also know, helluva ruckus in Tahiti over Paris 2024 organisers demolishing the old wooden changing tower, which has served its pro surfing master for two decades, and building a five-million dollar aluminium structure. 

Yesterday, following a Paris 2024 barge tearing up a little of the coral reef,  reigning gold medallist Carissa Moore added her voice to the growing clamour to either boycott the games or stop the build.

Following yesterday’s report the Olympic barge had accidentally bulldozed its way through the precious coral reef, Carissa Moore wrote: 

“(Broken heart emoji) This doesn’t seem worth it.” 

Now, it can be revealed that João Chianca gave hell to Paris 2024 organisers with a moving screed only hours before he was dragged unconscious from the water at Pipe.

Sharing a post from @saveteahupoo and writing in English and in his native Portuguese João Chianca wrote:

“Surfing will never lose its principles for an Olympic event. It would never make sense for surfing being an Olympic sport going against everything that this beautiful sport always stood up for. Surfers always travelled and competed around the globe respecting Mother Nature and her rules.”

More on Chumbo’s condition as we’re updated.

João Chianca slams Paris 2024 organisers for trampling pristine Teahupoo environs.
João Chianca slams Paris 2024 organisers for trampling pristine Teahupoo environs.

Breaking: Surfing superstar João Chianca dragged unconscious from the surf at Pipeline

Teenage surfer Jake Maki hailed a hero after rescuing world number four João Chianca…

When you’ve got JOB and Nathan Florence’s vlogs on loop, you might be lulled into thinking the danger of Pipe’s monstrous tubes is a little, how do you wanna say it, easy? Overrated? 

Yeah, well. 

News this morning that world number four João Chianca has been dragged from the water at Pipe unconscious after a catastrophic wipeout. 

 

João Chianca, who is twenty-three and the younger brother of big-wave surfer Lucas Chianca, was reportedly held underwater by multiple waves before being rescued by local teenage surfer Jake Maki.

(Name ring a bell? Jake Maki is an invitee to The Eddie and won Wave of the Bay in 2021/22.)

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by João Chianca (@joaochumbinho)

Lifeguards stablished João Chianca, who was a semi-finalist at this year’s Billabong Pro Pipeline, on the beach before being transported by ambulance to hospital where he remains under observation. 

João Chianca is anything but a novice at Pipe and his arrival onto the world tour has been spectacular. 

As BeachGrit’s tour correspondent JP Currie noted,

There are elements of his personality that might grate on some, like Kelly Slater, irked by his energy and exuberance. He’s hyper -aggressive in man-on-man heats, often sitting so close to his opponents that he might as well have his face nuzzled into the nape of their neck. And he takes public and performative praying to whole new levels, even for a Brazilian.

But his skills are without question, as demonstrated by two semi-finals and a victory in the first three comps. Remember, he’s more or less a rookie.

If you believe the mid-season cut has the capacity to set competitors ablaze, in fury or desire, then Chianca could be its poster-boy. He may well have evolved by nature rather than nurture, but he might not. Sometimes you need to lose to win.

Joao Chianca fears no-one.


Sunny Garcia (pictured) King of the Triple Crown.
Sunny Garcia (pictured) King of the Triple Crown.

Surf writer legend appeals to mysterious investigative surf journalist named “Chad” to untangle messy Sunny Garcia web

"It seems suspect that no one can even contact the facility he is in or speak with anyone who is connected to him."

This should be a happy time for fans of professional surfing. That gloriousTriple Crown season. The three north shore gems of Haleiwa, Sunset and Pipeline once offered a sporting feast during the holiday season in times’ past. Mastery over the three unique venues and earning a vaunted Triple Crown was as glorified as a season championship. More glorified in some corners. Alas, the World Surf League took its sledgehammer of incompetence to the tradition but we will always have our surf history.

Many etched their names on chaplet but none as indelibly as Vincent Sennen “Sunny” Garcia. As surf’s preeminent historian Matt Warshaw notes, Garcia was a, “Surly Hawaiian power surfer from Waianae, Oahu; 2000 world champion and six-time winner of the Triple Crown; described by surf journalist Derek Hynd as ‘a modern-day Cassius Clay…a slick, black nightmare come to whup some ass.'”

That six-time Triple Crown winner really something. Nobody, not even the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater, did it more and, yesterday, surf writer legend Jim Kempton honored the memory. Taking to the thoroughly disgraced Surfer Magazine, a title he helmed when it was respected and true, Kempton wrote, “If there is one record that is not likely to be broken is Sunny Garcia’s Triple Crown six victories. It is a monumental achievement and since the WSL has let it fall dormant, there may never even be a chance to take a shot at this crown again. And for those who follow surfing over the years, this record is probably untouchable anyway.”

Poignant but tinged with tragedy. Garcia, of course, attempted suicide nearly four-years ago in his Oregon home though was found before death.

According to Derek Rielly:

Sunny was subsequently hospitalised, put into an induced coma, was on kidney and liver dialysis, sent to a hospital in California for lung surgery and, now, according to close friends, he’s in a coma in a Texas hospital and undergoing treatment paid for by his wealthy Harvard-educated girlfriend Lori Park, one of the first software engineers at Google. Our source says Park has the “resolve and the resources” to, if not cure, at least improve Sunny’s condition.

What has unspooled since has been nothing if not confusing. Garcia’s children claiming they are not allowed to see their father, Garcia’s father sued, etc.

Kempton detailed the bizarre turns and the complete silence from Garcia’s caregivers before penning a sincere plea.

If I am mistaken then please whoever is close to him contact his family and clear this up. Otherwise, how can anyone trust the care and control that SOMEONE, must have in order to isolate him like this? It is a mystery. One that conjures up the possibility of criminal negligence or at the least, purposeful cruelty. Hundreds of his friends are worried about him. His children are disconsolate, confused, and distressed. It’s a situation no well-meaning human being would continue to keep his kids sad and empty. I’m not an investigative journalist, but there are certainly some out there. Chad, where are you? For the sake of his Ohana the surf community needs to find out what this is all about.

The investigative surf journalist named “Chad” an absolute mystery but I, too, have heard rumors of his existence and will lend my voice for him to get off his rump and do something socially and literarily valuable.

That Google robot and its harsh punitive sting be damned.

More as the story develops.