Golfing, wellness lunches, personal butler and you.
My only regret, and it’s deep, is that I did not provide this information before the close of the banking day on America’s west coast. Australian surf fans have a leg up, as it is daylight there, banks still open, loan officers standing by. Europe is on the verge of waking up, along with their banks and loan officers. America’s east coast is a ways off but will rise three hours before its west and… I’m sorry friends and neighbors.
Hi Chas,
With the Olympics around the corner and documentaries like 100 Foot Wave surging in popularity, surf tourism is at an all-time high. With that in mind, luxury experience agency GR8 Experience has launched an exclusive surf trip in Fiji with world-renowned pro surfers Kai Lenny and Kelly Slater.
From April 25-29, 2024, guests can learn from the pros while staying in a private bungalow at the 5-Star private island resort COMO Laucala Island—one of world’s most exclusive and expensive islands. This once-in-a-lifetime trip includes…
· Professional surf training and land fitness sessions with Kai Lenny and Kelly Slater
· Five nights of private luxury accommodation at COMO Laucala Island
· Golfing with Kelly Slater on 18-hole Championship Golf Course
· Wellness lunch with Kai Lenny to discuss optimal nutrition, health and training
· 60-min massage at globally-acclaimed COMO Shambala Spa and daily hot/cold therapy
· All-inclusive food and luxury amenities
· Photographer and personal butler (“Tau”)
The price per person ranges from $26,826 – $37,689 depending on villa type and room occupancy. To book contact [email protected]
Hurry, probably.
KLLY sandle sales are down so some poor VAL has to foot the bill to be a 3rd wheel at a Kelly and Kai bromance getaway.
wasted 30 minutes of my life on the Florence Bros Hui heat just now … John got one backdoor head dip, and no one else even took off on a wave.
happy ending(s)?
I bet Kelly’s chinese girlfriend has to pay to go with him.
“Wellness lunch with Kai Lenny to discuss optimal nutrition, health and training”
Will this consist of KL reclining on a dias, naked-but-for-a-loincloth, trying to expound on the principles of being born wealthy whilst stuffing Taco Bell bean burritos into his mouth? Shreds of industrially produced tortilla and globs of “refried beans” flying out from his frenzied mastication, onto the upturned faces of his needy supplicants.
?
26k allows you to peel him a grape then plop it delicately into his mouth.
Do I get a discount if I only play nine holes?
And do I have to pay extra for a super loud cranky Tahitian to scream at me every time I take a shot?
Or is that only for surf ranch customers?
You couldn’t pay me enough to stay around those lizard people J words
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Happy ending included in gold star package?
exactactly…
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Classic Kelly as scummy as you can get. I think I will (and perhaps Kelly should too) take John John’s latest FREE health clinic https://www.youtube.com/wat….
Perhaps some foreshadowing by JJF on Kelly’s coming season. Either way I will feel better just watching John’s random vid than sinking so much money to be around a bunch of toxic cunts. I hope the entire camp all get food poisoning and purge their souls through their anuses.
Coz, you just know anyone that stumps that amount for a week long surf holiday, is going to be a fully-fledged shredder who can no doubt make use of all these inside tips for Slats and Kai. I just got back from there and it’s always funny out at Cloudies how you can spot the rich-cunts by their apprehension and lack of skill in the water. Where there money don’t count for shit, the great equalizer that mother nature is.
genuinely curious: let’s say an over 50 lifelong surfer whose best days are behind him but who can still summon occasional bursts of energy is looking to go into debt to catch a few great waves before he’s too old to pop up … Fiji or no??
Kelly in Chapter 11?
That’s a long boat trip to Cloudy….
And a real short one to Maqai.
BG should send Jen See to cover it
This company is so great, they only need two letters to spell the actual word! Straight outta the 80’s street lingo for business marketng handbook that one! Where do I sign up!! Can the butler be female and of Eastern European decent. I feel like 26-37k should buy one some options instead of a (probabky) Fa’afafine butler named Tau? And importantly, how long til Kelly has an onlyfans to pay the bills.
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Great work Pauly
One of your best perhaps
Worthy of many up-votes
Who’s the person on the right though ?
It looks like neither Kelly, Kai, Kelly, Chas, Kelly, Dezz, Kelly, Sasha or Kelly…
Funny that, cos you downvoted me. 🙁
Person on the right is Kelly’s ego, telling him that the most annoying song ever is a great song.
Yes indeed I did give you a downvote for this piece, but ya can’t do a double up so I did a down haha, hence my mention of its multiple upvote worthiness.
P.S.
However
Let’s see it with Kelly in profile too please…
The Grand Jury findings were removed? what dat ’bout?
Was a great song, though. Good times.
OMGash
$37k to get burnt by Slater out Cloudbreak
10 bucks and I’ll take someone mini golfing, a shit surf with sideshore s.easterlies and an average burger (no pineapple)
I think you’d be losing a lot of money on that deal.
Yeah bumping it up to 900… with chips
Can I add an egg to the burger?
no hawaiian style?
36k to get nutritional advice from a Taco Bell bean burrito aficionado.
pepto bismall
I dont really believe a cabal of reptilian paedophile vampires who rule a secret one-world government actually exist, but if they did they would definitely be attending this event.
Doesn’t Epstein Island have waves?
Don’t doubt it. I am sure he has lots of water beds.
Has setups on the SE side but no exposure to swell
So if it’s a choice between $37 for Koa Smith, or $37,000 for Kelly n Kai, it looks like the bank manager’s getting a call.
Though ya probably better off with Michael Franzese’s subscription deal…