Brazil tightens stranglehold around competitive professional surfing after Nazaré sweep

Brazil's surfing domination now officially recognized by "the most trusted name in news."

Days ago, the world marveled as Portugal’s Nazaré turned on for the Tudor Big Wave Challenge. While the event didn’t get the grandest surf, leaving haters hating, it was certainly contestable and, at the end, two worthy champions held their trophies high. On the men’s side Lucas Chumbo. On the women’s, Maya Gabeira. Pedro “Scooby” Vianna might have won something too. All, in any case, hailing from the land of progress and order.

CNN, which bills itself as the “the most trusted name in news,” logged the event thusly: Brazil dominates ‘magical’ Nazaré Big Wave Challenge as swells reach almost 40 feet.

Brazil dominates and this is true not only of big wave surfing but, as every surf fan knows, of tiny waves as well. When, two years ago, World Surf League, which bills itself as “the global home of surfing,” decided to crown champions at Lower Trestles instead of Pipeline, it essentially guaranteed a decade long run of Filipe Toledo wins. The surfing portion of the 2020 Tokyo Olympics was won by Brazil. The surfing portion of the 2024 Teahupo’o Olympics will not be won by Brazil, thanks to the aforementioned bravest coward, but that will merely be a small hiccup with Brazil locked to win the 2028 Los Angeles Games and the 2032 Brisbane Games too.

Brazil ad infinitum.

Well earned and well deserved.

How long, though, do you image those who are fortunate enough to sing “Hino Nacional Brasileiro” at full voice will feel marginalized and ignored by the powers that be?

Five more years?

Ten?

Until the global home of surfing moves from its California-based veterinarian office to a gleaming suite in Brasilia?

Well, for now they have CNN even though a new report has just come out revealing that the 24-hour news network is being beaten in the ratings by the History Channel and “an obscure Western network.”

The stinking west.

Always meddling in Brazil’s rise to glory.