"No. I really, really like turtles." Photo: Kelly Slater: For the Love
"No. I really, really like turtles." Photo: Kelly Slater: For the Love

Surf great Kelly Slater cosplays as sea turtle in revealing eureka moment!

"I like turtles."

One of the… oddest moments of last year was certainly Kelly Slater’s launch of a sustainable sandal company conveniently named KLLY. The world’s greatest surfer had “discovered a niche in the in the footwear industry.” A sandal that “can stand up to the rigors of daily wear and outdoor adventures and at the same time, helps to reduce the environmental impact of the fashion industry.”

The thong, or flap, was initially released in standard black, though now appears in many colors, and featured a chunky bed with the traditional strap forming a V and secured, to foot, by the big and middle toe.

Traditional except also… not.

“For the design of the sandal,” the press release read, “Kelly was particularly moved by the mysterious and special relationship between the moon and sea turtle. Turtles have 13 large scales that represent the 13 lunar cycles in each year and 28 smaller scales that represent the days in each cycle. As a tribute to these coexisting forces, Kelly designed the top of the sandal to mirror the moon’s surface while the bottom sole represents the turtle’s scales.”

What?

The “mysterious and special relationship between the moon and a sea turtle?”

Surf fans vigorously scratched heads, attempting to piece the weird together. Where had the 11x world champion come up with that? Well, in a “eureka moment,” it appears as if Kelly Slater may want to be a turtle thus having special knowledge into the Chelonioidea life.

An eagle-eye’d amateur surf historian, hours ago, sent photographic proof hidden inside the 2008 coffee table book Kelly Slater: For the Love. No one knows nine-time world champion surfer Kelly Slater better than Kelly himself,” the teaser begins. In this revealing and heartfelt tribute, written with surfing veteran Phil Jarratt, the world’s best surfer riffs on a life filled with big wins, big money, and big loves. Interviews with friends and fellow surfers unearth amazing anecdotes, and hundreds of photographs, some never before published, capture the greatest victories and the quietest moments in equal measure. This beautifully produced book marks the first time Slater’s story has been told in full color, and reflects the latest twists and turns in an incredible and unconventional life.”

Revealing is right.

Unconventional too.

Turtles, of course, live longer than almost any other animal and it makes perfect sense that the man who won the Pro Pipeline at 50 would be inspired by the handsome creatures.

Well, whatever the case, the turt-moon sandal now makes sense.

David Lee and I discussed during our weekly chat, today, and also spent much time on Jacob “Zeke” Szekely. I cough much and directly into the microphone.

I think worth a listen for that alone.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
24 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
dad dad
dad dad
2 years ago

the eat bluebottles. youre welcome says the turtle.

Brutus
Brutus
2 years ago

mm turtle soup , best had in Fiji…more fresh bru !

Just got an order from a Fiji 5 start resort for Koala bear burgers , that apparently are serving fresh sustainable Green Turtle soup as entree….followed by the Worlds cutest burgers….some kinda wellness retreat for the bald?

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
2 years ago

I heard the turtle outfit has small hole in the shell that he pokes his Weiner thru…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

channels, grooves, and a bonzer bottom…as bonzer was slang for ladie’s parts?

deeks
deeks
2 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Oh how I miss my Freddy mac bonza

dad dad
dad dad
2 years ago

julian calendar

lunar cycle 28 days
healthy female cycle 28 days
13 months with 28 days each is 364 days
each month would start on a monday and finish on a sunday.

Think of the current month names. Sept (7) Oct (8) Dec (10)

Was Jesus REALLY born on dec 25?

Our planet is apparently moving through space at some ungodly speed yet many pyramids (not just egypt) line up with the north star at pinpoint accuracy. Even after all these thousands of year hurtling along??? Hmmmm.

Yes turtles have the segments it might be purely coincidence or maybe its not.

Many questions about our true nature need to be asked.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  dad dad

PBS has a great series on Pueblo’s and Chaco Canyon sensing time thru structures that have tracked lunar and solar movements that researchers say helped them predict seasons, planting, migration, birthing, and all that stuff. This occured over centuries and then they disappeared. Its a real mind blower.

Elo's Stool
Elo's Stool
2 years ago

Thanks to the Grit I learned that women ‘have hips’.

Illuminating.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
2 years ago

He got me with the Tangent board back in the day…never again.

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
2 years ago

Some bra burner in byron tried that in the 80s. Two scoops out of the deck. Didn’t take off for some reason.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

32, 34, 36…A, B, & C?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
2 years ago

Should have named if after the greenlamd shark, they live to 500.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

six giller…

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
2 years ago

Maybe they figured it wouldn’t make any money

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
2 years ago

DLS really jumped the shark in this episode! Does he really think that Matt Biolos (who has how many women world championships on his boards) doesn’t know how to design a board for a woman?

Elo's Stool
Elo's Stool
2 years ago

That bit was really odd. Like women have their own jeans, their own shoes, why not boards? Or cars? Or pencils??

Elo's Stool
Elo's Stool
2 years ago

I think the point of Album’s line is more that it’s a signature model for Coco Ho than designed for women. As per skateboarding

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
2 years ago

Riss needs a board for pipeline (then she might paddle out)

Mapski
Mapski
2 years ago

Slater borrowing(stealing?) from Aaron Chang’s art photos of Shirley Jones wearing a turtle shell in 1980.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
2 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

She was a way hotter turtle !

astro
astro
2 years ago

Slaters done as much for ecology as Jack the Ripper did for late-night shopping.

Trudy D.
Trudy D.
2 years ago
Reply to  astro

“Ripper” being the operative word here. What a creep.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  astro

claim it broheim!

RQ.
RQ.
2 years ago
Reply to  astro

🤣


24
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x