"No. I really, really like turtles." Photo: Kelly Slater: For the Love
"No. I really, really like turtles." Photo: Kelly Slater: For the Love

Surf great Kelly Slater cosplays as sea turtle in revealing eureka moment!

"I like turtles."

One of the… oddest moments of last year was certainly Kelly Slater’s launch of a sustainable sandal company conveniently named KLLY. The world’s greatest surfer had “discovered a niche in the in the footwear industry.” A sandal that “can stand up to the rigors of daily wear and outdoor adventures and at the same time, helps to reduce the environmental impact of the fashion industry.”

The thong, or flap, was initially released in standard black, though now appears in many colors, and featured a chunky bed with the traditional strap forming a V and secured, to foot, by the big and middle toe.

Traditional except also… not.

“For the design of the sandal,” the press release read, “Kelly was particularly moved by the mysterious and special relationship between the moon and sea turtle. Turtles have 13 large scales that represent the 13 lunar cycles in each year and 28 smaller scales that represent the days in each cycle. As a tribute to these coexisting forces, Kelly designed the top of the sandal to mirror the moon’s surface while the bottom sole represents the turtle’s scales.”


The “mysterious and special relationship between the moon and a sea turtle?”

Surf fans vigorously scratched heads, attempting to piece the weird together. Where had the 11x world champion come up with that? Well, in a “eureka moment,” it appears as if Kelly Slater may want to be a turtle thus having special knowledge into the Chelonioidea life.

An eagle-eye’d amateur surf historian, hours ago, sent photographic proof hidden inside the 2008 coffee table book Kelly Slater: For the Love. “No one knows nine-time world champion surfer Kelly Slater better than Kelly himself,” the teaser begins. “In this revealing and heartfelt tribute, written with surfing veteran Phil Jarratt, the world’s best surfer riffs on a life filled with big wins, big money, and big loves. Interviews with friends and fellow surfers unearth amazing anecdotes, and hundreds of photographs, some never before published, capture the greatest victories and the quietest moments in equal measure. This beautifully produced book marks the first time Slater’s story has been told in full color, and reflects the latest twists and turns in an incredible and unconventional life.”

Revealing is right.

Unconventional too.

Turtles, of course, live longer than almost any other animal and it makes perfect sense that the man who won the Pro Pipeline at 50 would be inspired by the handsome creatures.

Well, whatever the case, the turt-moon sandal now makes sense.

David Lee and I discussed during our weekly chat, today, and also spent much time on Jacob “Zeke” Szekely. I cough much and directly into the microphone.

I think worth a listen for that alone.

Chas Smith reacts to Kelia Moniz bringing the hammer down on House of Roxy!

"What the hell. man?"

In the latest episode of Chas Smith Hates Surfing, the celebrated author reacts to Kelia Moniz giving hell to Roxy’s parent company, the Authentic Brands Group.

The stylish longboarder is a two-time champion, multiple-time cover girl and, most importantly, surf royalty, hailing from the revered Moniz family,” says Smith. “She is, in a word, indelible and has been a face of Roxy for nearly two decades.”

Via Instagram, Kelia Moniz explained how, after Covid, she signed a great contract, the best she had ever had. After ABG completed purchase of Roxy, however the contract was terminated and she was told she could come back but with her salary slashed by ninety percent.

“After years of fighting for fair pay and equality,” Kelia Moniz said. “There was no was I was signing that deal, especially knowing I wasn’t the only athlete that this was happening to. I’m not about to be strong-armed by some corporation that knows nothing about the sport and doesn’t give a shit about it. If you’re wondering why I’m leaving, it’s not because I don’t love what I do… I’m leaving because if I sign this deal I’d be setting the industry standards for the girls who look like me and surf like me and I simply want nothing to do with that. The surf industry has been consolidated by two large corporations who don’t care that there has been a dismantling of the monetary value of a whole generation and I refuse to be part of it because it looks pretty on a spreadsheet.”

What the hell, man?

Smith says Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA, Hurley should be studiously avoided, if not burned to the ground, as surfers pivot to surfer-owned brands like Florence Marine X, TCSS etc.

And, anyone seen wearing Quiksilver, Billabong et al should be “publicly shamed.”

World record-breaking surfer Dylan Graves almost falls to death exploring “weird and extreme” Brittany, France

“Oh my god! I don’t like this! This is so sketchy!”

The adventures of Dylan Graves in his pursuit of the strangest waves on earth have been well-documented on BeachGrit, first in his ongoing series Weird Waves and, now, as he traverses the world solo. 

In April, Dylan Graves smashed the Guinness World Record for most turns on a wave with a leg-trembling forty manoeuvres, which he achieved on a tidal bore in Indonesia. 

“It’s known as the Bono to the locals or in the surf world as the 7 ghosts cause of a unique feature known as “whelps” that occur in undular tidal bores when a tidal wave front is followed by secondary waves known as whelps. In this case there are 7, hence the name 7 ghosts,” Dylan Graves wrote.

The almost-forty-year-old Puerto Rican submitted the ride to the Guinness people and is awaiting confirmation of his astonishing feat, although clearly a fait accompli etc. 

In his latest video short, we find Dylan Graves in Brittany, a peninsula in the north-west of France with two thousand miles of surfable coastline.

Although well-known to European surfers, the joint is a mystery to the Australians and Americans who rarely venture outside France’s storied south-west, Hossegor, Biarritz, Basque Coast etc. Dylan Graves discovers a wild slabbing right-hander, a pretty little peeler for longboarding, a wind-blown left off of a jetty wall and a post-surf climb with a broken surfboard that gives our hero the heebeejeebees. 

“Oh my god! I don’t like this! This is so sketchy!” he says over and over.


Kai Lenny with broken helmet
Kai Lenny with his busted and, likely, life-saving helmet.

Thoughts and prayers for Kai Lenny, hospitalised with a head injury after helmet-smashing Pipeline wipeout

Pipeline claims sixth scalp of the winter!

The daring big-wave surfer and one-time BFF of Mark Zuckerberg, Kai Lenny, is in hospital tonight after a wipeout that destroyed his helmet during the Backdoor Shootout.

“First time wearing a helmet at Pipeline and it may have saved my life,” Lenny wrote to his one million-plus followers from his bed at the Pali Momi medical centre near Pearl Harbour.

“I don’t remember much except that it was during my heat in the #DaHuiBackdoorShootout and the lifeguards sat me down in a chair at the Beach Park. I have a solid concussion and some bleeding out of my left ear.”

The world’s best surfers were quick to acknowledge how his life might’ve drastically zigged if he didn’t have the polycarbonate shell on his head.

“The helmet,” wrote Jack Robinson, punctuating the profundity with two sets of prayer hands.

“Glad you are okay Kai. TEAM HELMET,” wrote Jamie O’Brien.


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A post shared by Kai Lenny (@kai_lenny)

It’s the sixth major incident of the North Shore season at Pipeline with world number four Joao Chianca, Tahitian kingpin Eimeo Czermak, Pipe regular Koa Rothman and Peruvian shredder Joaquin Del Castillo the big names injured only one month into the Hawaiian winter and proof it ain’t just kooks getting hurt.

Three days ago, a Pipeline novice, also wearing a helmet, was dragged unconscious from the water on a relatively benign four-foot day.

While the long-term ramifications of Kai Lenny’s concussion aren’t known, it’s likely he won’t surf again this Hawaiian winter.

More importantly, Kai Lenny will still co-headline a luxury Maldives retreat next April. It is available to anyone with thirty-to-forty gees. Kai Lenny will appear alongside the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater. 

The retreat includes,

· Professional surf training and land fitness sessions with Kai Lenny and Kelly Slater
· Five nights of private luxury accommodation at COMO Laucala Island
· Golfing with Kelly Slater on 18-hole Championship Golf Course
· Wellness lunch with Kai Lenny to discuss optimal nutrition, health and training
· 60-min massage at globally-acclaimed COMO Shambala Spa and daily hot/cold therapy
· All-inclusive food and luxury amenities

Open Thread: Comment Live Day Two of the “big and bad” Da Hui Backdoor Shootout!

Catch cracks!