If you can't rock n roll, don't fooken come.

The silt of the extreme sport industry is still settling after Billabong, Quiksilver, RVCA, et. al. were rolled into one company then sold to another company. Authentic Brands Group officially closed the deal at the beginning of September, firing whoever was left to be fired, clearing the way to slap Mountains and Waves, Balances of Opposites, “Billabong” on all manner of toenail clipper, fingernail clipper, cuticle trimmer, emory board.

If you can’t rock n roll, don’t fooken come.

Mikey Wright, youngest of famous Clan Wright, has really been Quiksilver’s belle over the past few years, defining the look/feel of the brand as “Bogan Cool” what with sneering lips, large shades and potty mouth. A small legion of fans rabidly following each of his wildcard entries into Championship Tour events and each of his first round exits.

Purveyors were curious if Quik could maintain its ethos being wadded up in Boardriders then pitched to ABG but big orders are certain to be flooding in after the leadership group of o5, in charge of the license, was released.

See: Above.

We’re back, baby.

Cocaine + Surfing.

The end nigh?

The World Surf League exploded onto our scene not a decade ago when a reclusive billionaire named Dirk Ziff purchased the Association of Surfing Professionals, for free, rebranded it and announced that it would soon be a multi-billion dollar enterprise. New offices were leased in Santa Monica, a whole studio built inside and the momentum of professional surfing was REAL.

Except somewhere along the way, multiple CEOs filtered in then out, mass layoffs occurred, the aforementioned studios were shuttered before making anything, Erik Logan.

Still, only bright and bullish pronouncements came out of those new offices. Viewership up by hundreds of percentages, year on year. Sponsors lining up around the Santa Monica block in order to partner.

Alas, those shining beacons of progress are now officially on the market.

Sale or lease.

There has been no word, clearly, from the World Surf League itself. The organization, which operates as a cut-rate North Korea, loves nothing more than despising its audience, though a sale to Bahrain, Qatar, UAE must be even closer.

Will Stab hear the news ten minutes before you or I?

Jessi Miley-Dyer whispering the news while her minder is having a pee pee break?

Likely.

Buy or lease here!

Rosé all day!

Summer has turned to autumn, in the northern hemisphere, meaning the North Shore of Oahu is about to get cracking. The seven-mile miracle featuring waves so famous, so wildly well-known, that even grandma in Dubuque is familiar. Waimea Bay, The Banzai Pipeline, Off The Wall and Rocky Rights. Surfers from around the world, attempting to prove their worth, steel spines and gird loins and descend upon the island grim faced and ready for battle.

Though this year, a giddy new crop is on the way.

And you are, no doubt, familiar with the “rosé all day” craze that has swept through the female population during the past decade. Pink wine become the absolute must. But did you know that the brand that really kicked it all off came out of France’s Provence from the winery Chateau D’esclans? Yes, it’s Whispering Angel label became de rigueur at every bachelorette party, every baby shower, every sweet sixteen (don’t tell mom!) and, starting last week, every Pipeline Masters.

Yes, Whispering Angel is partnering with Turtle Bay to offer special cabanas at the resort. Per luxury title Forbes:

The Whispering Angel Cabanas will be a celebration of the luxury goods powerhouse, world-class rosé, and the spirit of aloha that is carried throughout the resort. The Whispering Angel Cabanas are just feet from Turtle Bay Resort’s scenic coastline with a premium view of the surf and sunsets. Open to resort guests and the public, the elevated cabanas will come with a bottle of Whispering Angel Rosé and complimentary light bites, including a fruit arrangement, sourced from the resort’s very own 468-acre Kuilima Farm – that’s a definite wow feature — and artisanal cheese and charcuterie spread. Cabana guests will have access to an exclusive menu featuring additional iconic brands from the MH portfolio, including Ruinart, Moët & Chandon Ice Impérial, and Dom Pérignon. The sommelier-selected libations will be offered either by the glass, bottle, or as a cocktail starting at $15.

Mic.

Drop.

But can you imagine da boyz getting on the rosé before paddling out? I’d imagine a whole new lineup vibe.

Cute.

Which professional, do you think, would best exemplify the “rosé all day” spirit?

Italo Ferreira?

Good choice.