"So lame. Always twisting questions and answers. All respect lost."

Live by the access journalism, die by the access journalism, as the old adage goes. Stab burst onto the scene just last week after its co-founder completely unnecessarily admitted that the premium surf blog gladly trades soft coverage for entre. Sam McIntosh, Stab’s co-founder responding without being asked to a milquetoast interview with World Surf League Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer, declared his raison d’être for publishing is to be liked by his subjects.

And in so being liked, he can pass along press releases, dressed as news, to the paying consumer.

A win-win. Or rather, a win-win-ish.

In the latest and much-praised episode of How Surfers Get Paid, former world no. 14 and wunderkind Jack Freestone unloaded on professional surfing’s safe space after he was outed as being unkind to surfboards.

According to a well-placed source who watched, shapers Darren Handley and Jon Pyzel outed Freestone as “one of the more difficult riders to deal with” after the relationship between board sponsor and sponsee was highlighted. The vast majority of surf talent don’t get their boards for free, they belong to the shaper, and so Freestone punching his board, say, after a loss is a direct financial attack.

Stab teased the drop by praising Freestone, declaring, “Also, a big thanks must go to Jack Freestone. This episode featured some loose ends and ‘off the record’ quotes from our talent. We interviewed Jack and he was gracious, good humoured and totally unperturbed to have a few jabs by shapers let in.”

Well.

Apparently Freestone wasn’t completely appraised of how the scene would play out and/or lied to. The handsome Australian took to Stab’s own Instagram to state, “So lame. Always twisting questions and answers. All respect lost.”

Tweaking a pro goes directly against Stab’s ethos and I wonder if consternation is burning hot in Oceanside tonight.

Investigative access journalism on the ropes.

Stab, in any case, has yet to respond but surf media watchers are hoping McIntosh pens The Dickhead Index Pt. 2 tomorrow morning wherein he passively-aggressively re-throws Freestone under the bus while signaling that editorial meetings are now being conducted at NeueHouse.

Chic.

I, anyhow, had the privilege of briefly interviewing Freestone when your BeachGrit was involved in the Billabong x Metallica collaboration. I was very impressed by his candor and handsomeness and made a point not to do him dirty though, in truth, he didn’t do or say anything remotely controversial.

A new access journalism sheriff in town?

More as the story develops.

"Feels so sad and lonely without him here on Kauai. I can feel his happiness up there with Andy and it makes me smile and cry."

The surf world is in mourning after the death of Phil Irons, the much-loved daddy of Andy and Bruce and granddaddy to Andy’s kid, Axel. 

“Grief is a b*tch,” wrote Andy’s wife Lyndie. “Been MIA for a bit sifting through my heartache of losing Axel’s special grandpa. Even though we know it was coming it doesn’t make it easier. Axel and Papa Phil made a pact these last few months leading up to his passing that anytime Axel was in Hanalei he needed to run in the house and give him a hug. Axel is a man of his word and made that happen with not one complaint. 

“We spent as much time as we could together. I wrote Papa Phil my favorite memory in a card and he told me that it was his favorite memory together too. When Andy was here and surfing hours on top of hours like he always did. And I would find myself in papa Phil’s house on Weke Rd and we would talk for hours about surfing. I enjoyed every minute. 

“I moved to Kauai at 21 but mostly lived on the road but when I was on Kauai in Papa Phil’s house it felt like home. Papa Phil loved his boys deeply and helped them in every aspect of their surfing career. He was a sweet soft loving man that loved us so much. I’m so thankful to have had Phil and Danielle all these years. I miss him deeply. 

“When I just got in my truck at the airport yesterday something had died I think in the engine🤢 and I went to pick up my phone to call Papa Phil to to see what I should do and than burst into tears. He has been more of a dad in my adult years. Feels so sad and lonely without him here on Kauai. I can feel his happiness up there with Andy and it makes me smile and cry. Just miss Papa Phil and will try to take the lessons he taught me and use them always.”

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by @lyndieirons

An outpouring of condolences followed, from Alex Florence, Jack Robinson, Mick Fanning, Jamie O’Brien, Joel Tudor, Selema Masekela, Luke Egan, Coco Ho, Shane Dorian and more. 

“So sad to hear Phil passed. Had some great chats over the years. Sending lots of love to you and Axel,” wrote Mick. 

“We’re at that age my dear where our elders are passing us the torch! Love to you and the rest of family!” wrote Tudor. 

Californian-born Phil Irons moved to Kauai in 1970 “and spent two years living out of a beachside tent on a diet of rice, bananas, and avocados”.

Andy, who was christened Phillip Andrew Irons, was born in 1978 and Bruce was born the following year.

Phil and wife Daniel divorced in 1989 and Phil moved the nine miles down from Haena and to the beach at Hanalei Bay, a decision that would prove pivotal in the boys’ surfing.

For five hundred bucks a month he rented a hundred-year-old shack from the Hanalei Bay Liquor Store. Danielle rented a joint 150 yards down the road and Andy and Bruce split their time between the pair. 

Andy’s son Axel was born on the opening day of the Pipeline Masters in Memory of Andy Irons on December 8, 2010, thirty six days after his daddy’s death. 

"Lately we've been dressing for revenge..."

The World Surf League has made a near infinite amount of blunders since billionaire Dirk Ziff took ownership some eight years ago. From Paul Speaker declaring professional surfing would soon be bigger than the National Football League to Erik Logan becoming unceremoniously fired in Brazil, there have been, really, an unbroken string of LOLs. Rare in this day and age when a chuckle is quickly followed by cancellation.

Russell Brand.

One of the consistent funniest of funnies, though, has been the attempt to normalize “surf jerseys.” Who could ever forget Japan’s silver medalist Kanoa Igarashi being branded Igarshi for the Surf Ranch Pro or Tyler Wright in general?

The whole business reached peak ridiculous during the just-wrapped Finals Day wherein the World Surf League decided to adorn the garments with “stunningly bad” limited edition slogans.

The Pride of Culburra.

I’d imagine children in Sri Lanka are being forced to wear after unsold stores are shipped off shore, though oh what might have been.

ESPN is reporting that the Kansas City Chief’s tight end Travis Kelce had his jersey sales spike by 400% after rumors began swirling that Taylor Swift, currently the most famous person on the planet, was his love interest.

Per the “worldwide leader in sports:”

Taylor Swift’s trip to watch Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce play football Sunday didn’t just have the internet talking nonstop.

After the 12-time Grammy Award winner’s appearance at Arrowhead Stadium, jersey sales for the All-Pro tight end seemingly skyrocketed.

According to sportswear and fan merchandise company Fanatics, Kelce’s jersey was one of the top five for the NFL on Sunday. He “saw a nearly 400% spike in sales throughout the Fanatics network of sites, including NFLShop.com,” a spokesperson told The Associated Press via email.

400%.

But you are certainly old enough to remember when rumors swirled that Swift was smitten with our very own John John Florence some decade ago? A golden and singular moment where all of Dirk Ziff’s hopes and dreams might have come true.

Alas, it all proved false but how depressed is the World Surf League today?

400% jersey spike?

They retail for around $50 meaning John John’s would have brought in a whopping $20,000 total.

Wild.

Though, is the aforementioned Erik Logan to blame?

You are also certainly old enough to remember when the Oklahoman with a magical wetsuit of armor castigated Swift in a red hot tweet, pegging the beloved singer-songwriter with, “For someone who draws such power from being the ‘voice’ and against all the things you talk about, I’m watching you violate what you allegedly stand for. You’re the real bully.”

Some things age well.

Others don’t.

Like Erik Logan.

Or the World Surf League.