Hawaii ruling all.
The World Surf League tried its damndest but could not destroy surfing today. The much ballyhooed swell arrived, as predicted, and treated those watching to a feast of barrels and barrels and barrels with a few sides of tasty turns. Fine winds, mostly, and inane jibber jabber from the booth.
It will all be wrapped expertly by JP Currie but let us rush, quickly, to the final where to local human beings surfing in their backyard met after mowing through their various sides of the draw.
Mssrs. Barron Mamiya and John John Florence.
Sitting World Surf League champion Filipe Toledo, surprisingly, sitting in the kiddie pool out front his Rocky Point rental.
Turpel and crew could not stop talking about the Deoxyribonucleic acid connection between the two and their ancestor Jamie O’Brien.
More on that later.
The last heat started quick, Mamiya and Florence trading initial waves then Pipeline nuggets. Florence, critical drop though not deep, netted an 8.00.
Mamiya’s, crazy, won him a Yeti cooler.
The heat was over then, in terms of hype and excitement for team Mamiya. A cooler, or eskie, can be stuffed with all sorts of cold foods and remain so during the course of a few hours. In the belly of a Yeti, though, they will stay absolutely frozen for a week. The whole world could shut down tomorrow and Clan Mamiya will survive a week longer than you or me. Or, actually, than you. I have a Yeti.
In any case, the battle continued because, per the bylaws, it had to.
Though didn’t need to.
Mamiya’s 10.00 held and he noted to Strider, in the channel, that he didn’t think he would make it an that’s that and we are one event into the final World Surf League season.
Hawaii on top.
Pip on bottom.
I am 80% more stupid after listening to eight ours of Turpel and Jesse Mendes.
You’ll pay for it.
Get ready for duuuuuuuumb dumb.
More as the story develops.
More questions than answers.
Ow my balls.