Roping dopes.
I’m telling you, I called this thing and long before the two-time, and sitting, world champion Filipe Toledo stunned surf-watchers by bowing out of the 2024 Championship Tour due “mental health.” I said, and I quote, “What if the Brazilian flyboy, universally recognized as the globe’s best small wave surfer though also bigger-wave-over-reef coward, is making a play to be the greatest sport story of all-time thereby forcing internet technicians to eat a lifetime of crow?”
Well guess what.
It’s happening.
Toledo, of course, announced his break after an embarrassing Lexus Pipe Pro performance that saw him refusing to give effort on a large-esque day. The aforementioned internet technicians lit him up, he angrily declared that he didn’t need to prove anything to anyone before handing the microphone to his father, Ricardo Toledo, who lambasted all haters.
In the days after, the Lower Trestles maestro signaled that he would be taking his children to school for a few weeks then probably start going on surf trips.
Surf fans imaged enjoyable adventures to Australia’s Gold Coast, New Smyrna Beach and Portugal’s Algarve region but I… I thought, and I quote, “The kid is smarter than that. He is roping us all as dopes and is going to conquer his fear, go to that Place of Broken Skulls and bring home gold.”
Am I right?
Seemingly so, for Brazilian surf media is sharing that Toledo plans to focus “a lot on the Olympics” during his respite. Now, we all know that the Tahitian mutant, which will host the surfing portion of the 2024 Paris Games, has been notoriously unkind to the 28-year-old’s psyche. Toledo famously scored a 0.00 there and also, last year, sat and watched two fifty-year-olds eat his lunch.
Dopes, though, at the end. The lot of us. Except me.
Toledo has the wild skill, the ability to cherry-pick coaches (both mental and non) and money to post up “at the end of the road” for the next five months, or travel to any other slabbing left on earth. Practicing. Hunting. Growing strong. Stronger.
Do you believe?
Do you imagine that he might be crafting a tale better than Miracle on Ice, Cool Runnings, Eddie the Eagle?
If he does, if he Rocky Balboas for the next five months and ends up atop the Olympic podium will he eclipse Kelly Slater as the GOAT?
Something to think about.
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Well if that happens he’s gunna make everyone on here look like fucken idiots…except me
To be fair everyone on here is more than capable of making themselves look like fuckin’ idiots without any assistance.
I can’t wait from the elo produced epic training montage
https://youtu.be/pFrMLRQIT_…
did I not tell you so after you told us so?
I know where the bodies are buried
Filly the Flying Fish
Eddie the eagle? More like Eric the eel.
At least Eric had the balls to try though.
Will JMD be making the call on what days to surf?
Nup. ISA
Pretty embarrassing…Anyone else remember Dan n Dave on the old reebok ads in the 90s when Dan didn’t qualify for the olympics. Should lose his spot by not competing this year. Cute little olympic qualifier medal…pip squeak
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
He just out kellied Kelly.
The odds will be sky high for him to win it.
Crazy not to put some money on it.
Some money? All your money and your house! What could go wrong?
Is it not a likely outcome that Fil wins gold in 3-4 ft Chopes and then the ‘unimaginable’ comeback story will be told to the point we all want to drive knives into our ear canals
Chas, I hope you’re right. I really do.
Honestly, if FT can charge hollow lefts then the rest of the field is cooked. At that point the only thing that would tilt it back towards JJF and Gabby would be if they switched the final 5 to pipe
Talk’s Cheap – Actions Speak Waay Louder Then Words – Fearlessly Rushing It At 10′ + is a Whole Different Level then head high tail slides .. Prove it .
Though I’m still getting more of an Eric ‘The Eel’ Moussambani vibe from Pip.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Struggling to keep his head above water…
First he has to show up at Chopes (or a wave of similar aspect), then he has to actually learn to surf it well. Neither of these things has happened yet, no? Be sure to let us know when/if they do.
He’s been plenty to chopes, most of these guys learn within a few seasons… still nothing, I just think he doesn’t have it.
Maybe after he had his second kid they went to get his tubes tied and instead accidentally snipped off both his testis.
Filipe: “Hocus!…Pocus!…Let there be…FOCUS!!!”
jan Akkerman Dutch greatness
https://www.youtube.com/wat…