Kelly Slater impossible tube.
Kelly Slater falls off, almost, climbs back into the cupola and exits to acclaim.

Kelly Slater stuns world with impossible tube ride two days after 52nd birthday!

"You will never see another surfer at that age, doing what Kelly Slater does, nobody, ever." 

It is a reflection of the absurdity of time passed and Kelly Slater’s longevity when you consider that he retired from the tour in 1998 as the most successful male pro surfer of all time. 

And, even if he’d never surfed another heat, if the late, great, insane Andy Irons hadn’t burned through town forcing him back into orbit, his six world titles, including those five in a row from 1994 through 1998, would still have Kelly Slater as the best ever. 

Of course, the man has flaws. Who don’t?

The blood feuds, for one. Baits set, bait gobbled: those simmering back-and-forths with flat-earthers, his ancient feud with Adriano de Souza, fighting an historically inaccurate troll by referencing his Chinese girlfriend.

As the surf historian Matt Warsaw has said,

“Kelly Slater’s life as a surfer of incomprehensible talent, in and out of the contest arena, at this point seems completely divorced from his life as a surfing entrepreneur. I can’t square the two.”

And,

Kelly Slater in middle-age is anti-factual, irresponsible, and flagrantly narcissistic.

Again, who isn’t?

All of that doesn’t matter to a man who throbs to his own pulse and gallops to victory again and again.

Two days after his fifty-second birthday, the still active professional surfer was filmed making an impossible barrel on his new surfboard design the S Boss, a surfboard designed to be a a “true universal surfboard built to unlock progression across all conditions and skill levels.”

In the clip, Kelly Slater appears to fall off into the barrel but scrambles up the ladder and climbs inside the cupola.

His exit is greeted with a howl of  “Oh my god!”

Comments, naturally, praise Kelly Slater as the best ever.

Common refrains,

“You will never see another surfer at that age, doing what he does, nobody, ever.”

“Is anyone really surprised anymore😂 I mean, c’mon, it’s Kelly Slater he’s a freak of nature, defies time. I think he might be Jesus.”

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Slater Designs (@slaterdesigns)

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tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

did a recent ti leaf greeting for a college grad, a birthday boy and a mother’s day…at a slab. Ho’s offered a conductor and a Tijuana Taxi

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

He’s also in The Eddie. no?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

Forgetting Sarah Marshall outtakes…where’s Jonah, Kalani, and Kai?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

DNA test?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

a buck eighty & change…only $0.02 worth/

Panda's sack rash
Panda's sack rash
2 years ago

So much arms
Hi style is so shit now
Suck shit Kelly

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
2 years ago

Curren could surf at level at 52.

RQ.
RQ.
2 years ago

first visit to the north shore today. everything maxxed and messy. looks like Waimea tidied up a bit on the higher tide. spewing i wasn’t there when the crew were on it.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  RQ.

Kelly is in The Eddie…

fingerbanger
fingerbanger
2 years ago

There are plenty of great barrels in this vid. John’s wave at 3.46 is more impressive. https://www.youtube.com/wat…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  fingerbanger

Ross outside the booth. Should be in the booth!

Barnycle
Barnycle
2 years ago

Hey, Dekkers. Maybe it doesn’t matter but people here, in recent times, seem to place the Eddie above the Pipe Masters on the Surf-prestige totem pole.

I can imagine a 21stC Oahu resident thinking so, but surely the Pipe contest still holds Gold Star prestige amongst surfers around the world. Don’t think many Aussies or Saffos grew up caring about the Eddie. Just wanted your opinion as a Down Underer; if you had one.

7dollarsurfboard
7dollarsurfboard
2 years ago
Reply to  Barnycle

As a saffa living in aus, what the fuck is Eddie?

Barnycle
Barnycle
2 years ago

It’s a big wave contest held in Waimea Bay. No need to worry about it, mate.

7dollarsurfboard
7dollarsurfboard
2 years ago
Reply to  Barnycle

Shot bru. I can vy have a dos now now

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
2 years ago

Did well didn’t he. What a great man.

astro
astro
2 years ago

Goebbels ????

deeks
deeks
2 years ago

Ya volt!

snapper
snapper
2 years ago

oh no…he was surfing exactly his age…didn’t you see him fall.

Repenter
Repenter
2 years ago

The 66 year old sino-polynesian’s 30-something year old son has built on solid YouTube following on waves just like Slater’s.

Hughe Johnson
Hughe Johnson
2 years ago

Pipeline Fucking Master!
https://youtu.be/ivd6-Y1QVR…

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
2 years ago
Reply to  Hughe Johnson

Wow, take notes filipe.

Stick man
Stick man
2 years ago

Just replace all Ke11y’s articles with “A Florida man”…

Brutus
Brutus
2 years ago

hmm Jesus or the anti-Christ for surfboard makers?

ricmatic
ricmatic
2 years ago

He quit when my pretty successful career began. Fucker boggles the mind

@surfads
@surfads
2 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

You were commenting on internet surfing forums in ‘98? Respect. I didn’t start ‘til ‘01

ricmatic
ricmatic
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

98 was the heyday. Ramones and such

ricmatic
ricmatic
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Represent tall poppy!

longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
2 years ago

I picked up one of those ibolic S bosses the other day.

felt like a piece of shit.

@surfads
@surfads
2 years ago

Looks like a hypto

longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Deffo some Hypto genetic material in there- can’t blame them for trying to replicate the biggest selling board of all time.

Barnycle
Barnycle
2 years ago

Exactly. So many people seem to hate the idea of making money.

They’d think that if they owned a business and their R&D department told them that they have two almost identical products that can go into production but that one would sell 10X the other that they’d turn down the higher selling product because the marketing is not authentic. Get real. It’s just surfboards and it’s just marketing. Obviously there’s very little thats new about this surfboard.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
2 years ago
Reply to  Barnycle

I hate the idea of going to make money. 5 days a week.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

4-day work week @ $50.00/hr.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
2 years ago

Pretty normal ride , Kelly is getting desperate for clicks

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
2 years ago

It was a well ridden wave, but nothing spectacular. “Impossible Tube Ride”? Hardly.
I’ve been suckered into yet another BG clickbait headline.

Jackie Moon
Jackie Moon
2 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

The oldest Kelly trick in the book, make a normal tube ride seem exceptionally difficult using an excessive amount of flailing limbs. Works every time


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