Tragedy besets upcoming Cloudbreak event!
As part of a three-year deal with the Fijian government, professional surfing returns to Cloudbreak this August for the first time in seven years.
In 2017, you’ll remember, the notoriously well-hung goofyfooter Matt Wilkinson was swinging that giant rod, which could only be found at the bottom of a grove of luxuriant curls and whorls, at a world title, although a late-season slump would drop him down to fifth as Gabriel Medina and Julian duked it out for the crown at Pipe. (Gabriel won.)
What set the Fiji contest apart from others was the division of accommodation. The Australians stayed, mostly, at Namotu Island and the Americans at Tavarua. The Brazilians, for their were no French or Italians or Japanese back then, were roughly divided between the two islands.
Although single women were rare, occasionally bored wives and mothers, staying on the mainland, patrolled the sands looking for adorable masculine tits to explore and cocks to lap with their desperate aged tongues.
I have very fond memories of being straddled here, there and everywhere, spectators demonstrating their appreciation for the show with a little more gusto than would be prudent in this new puritan age.
Dawn surfs, sunset surfs, Guitar Hero in the Namoutu bar, wrestling competitions around the pool, throwing up Skulldraggers, Namotu’s infamous ten-shot cocktail, into the jacuzzi, being lost at sea on a windless night and silently readying myself for death before a light zephyr blew me and my biz partner back to the beach. So many glorious memories.
Anyway, no similar memories will be generated among pro surfers in Fiji this year.
In a statement, Namotu Island Fiji says the wave pool is out and Cloudbreak is in.
They say it’s been too long since the last winner Matt Wilkinson won in 2017 and even longer since Parko missed his heat to go fishing and got a little stranded.
They add those were good times and it wasn’t just the surfing that was an annual highlight in the series.
Namotu Island Fiji says this year the competitors will not be staying on Namotu and Tavarua as they did in years past.
They say there will be unlimited weeks scheduled for that period so the competitors will be staying on the mainland.
They add regardless, the return of the WSL is a great thing for Fiji and people are looking forward to watching it from the channel again.
Which don’t make sense. Nine day waiting period. I think two weeks in 2017.
But.
A tragedy, yes, and further indication of just how far the World Surf League has moved, I believe, from professional surfing’s proud roots.
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Anyone else living somewhere where kava bars are popping up on literally every corner? South FL is inundated with these “sober” bars capturing every ex/current pill & booze addict’s attention. By my estimation (and uhh personal research) the margin on these drinks are insane. Maybe $1 in materials & labor goes into each $13 drink. Rent a small commercial space, add some bar seating from fuckin IKEA, get some hot pots to make the tea, hire some college kids. No brainer investment (for now before the tax man cracks down) – you heard it here first.
geez, dez…you gave me a semi, reading that.
k, so why would anyone want to stay on Namotu or Tavi when there will be a packed or closed-for-competition lineup at cloud break for 9 days?
we’re all prisoner’s here and ther and there and here…for some time now. no hurry~
NEW HOTEL FOR FIJI
FTL (Fiji Tourism Lodgings) have released plans for a hotel to be built on the reef at Cloudbreak.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
It’ll be completely eco-friendly and green due to surfers no longer using petrol powered boats to get to the waves, and it having a rooftop pool garden (beside the heli-pad) growing microgreens for the hotel restaurants…
failed fact check…reapply in a next millwnium
Is Pip in the F’afafini division?!
Xox
Costs more to stay at Tavarua for a week than to run the entire WSL for a year.
2017 was JJF Title.
2018 was Gabe/Julian.
And Wilko for Wildcard as defending Event Champ.
Wilko will need a tender attached for his schlong,so he’ll lose 1st round.
On a positive note, nobody gets stuck bunking with Sal.
Still NRL season too. Poor Sal
I’ve always wondered how much of a discount the pro’s get to stay there, no way they’re paying
US10k for a week’s surf trip
Surely Ke11y won’t lower himself to bunk down with the minions on the mainland when his usual private Tavvy villa, where one of his jetski’s probably still lives, is just off-shore.
And don’t Brissa’s parents still live on Namotu ? Would’ve thought she’d stay with them.
P.S.
Presumably the woosl used to subsidise the Tavvy and Namotu accomo, but with budget cuts are now only stumping up for the Nadi Motel 6.
Though I can imagine some of the more monied competitors will book an island villa instead anyway…
Some of the ugliest prozzies on the planet there…
If you’re into that sort of thing
Ya don’t look at the mantle piece while your stoking the fire, or when ya jackhammering a dirty prozzie in the dirty balloon knot
When I used to work in PNG back when the Internet was new, the guys showed me some PNG porn. Have not seen that many pubes since the 80s.
Yes, they reduce the waiting period to nine days after the mid year cut. Another way to save money and further diminish the quality of their already sub par product.
The old roots and brothels saying springs to mind.
Bula!
Fiji adjacent, but have you seen the little video of Tati and Felipe Toledo surfing together at Teahupoo? Tati takes a couple of pretty heavy late drops, surfs it pretty deep, gets respectable big barrels. The only footage of Felipe is him paddling at a big one, and then cuts to pig-dogging a 1/3 size junky insider.
And then he’s back on the boat, waiting for Tati to come in so they can go snorkeling.
Unfucking believable – if it was a heat, she badly comboed him with her top four waves. And this guy is supposed to surf Teahupoo in the Olympics. Wow.
https://www.worldsurfleague…
Even her failed attempts completely shame him for sure
If my blurry memory is good, her first big-time comp was as a wildcard in Fiji the year Sally broke her eardrum and Owen got a pair of tens etc, and she did pretty well as a charging youngster.
Should be good to see this year too…
TWW charging! Maybe Felipe should dye his hair pink and get some Tati courage. Entertaining clip, thanks for that!
Can we get some moderators in here. I almost fucking watched that!
Kudos for taking innuendo to new highs but I dunno about “The Brazilians, for their were no French or Italians or Japanese back then, were roughly divided between the two islands.”
Notwithstanding “their”, I think you will find there were quite a few French and Italian surfers at that comp, plus one proto-Japanese.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wi…
Facts and rational points have no place here, cunt