It's always sunny in North Korea.
The World Surf League took heavy, and surprising, damage in this still-young 2024 Championship Tour season. Everything seemed semi-normal ahead of the Pipe Pro opener though the League’s patented Wall of Positive Noise did seem a little… tired. Maybe various executives who call the “global home of surfing” home were tired after moving desks and filing cabinets from its hip Santa Monica offices to a veterinarian office in El Segundo?
Whatever the reason, no ultra-upbeat press release was delivered about the upcoming start until minutes before the hooter actually sounded. And when it did?
All hell broke loose.
A decision not to run on an epic Pipe day because it was “too big and good” was met with a fusillade from surf fans. Two-time, and sitting, world champ Filipe Toledo failed to give an effort, looking extremely scared, then pulled the rip citing phantom food poisoning thereby sullying the formerly good names of Lei Leis, Pupukea Grill and Foodland. Surf fans continued to lob rage.
And then the Wall cracked.
Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer had to face the camera to explain why “too big and good” surf was not in the cards for that day. Toledo quit the entire tour for a year, this time citing “mental health.”
Surf fans, the commentariat, realized their power and did not let up.
Panicked, the aforementioned World Surf League chiefs decided there was only one thing to do. Return to its “cut-rate North Korean” roots and disable any public comment on its live feed.
Low quality surf fans very much enjoyed offering inconsequential opinions on the YouTube feed (as opposed to the high quality surf fans who prefer the Open Thread: Comment Live). They would argue, cajole and throw “raise the roof” emojis into the sidebar. Might there also have been light critique of the World Surf League and Filipe Toledo?
Likely.
Thus, it was ripped right down with no explanation or care.
Which raises the question once again. Is the World Surf League the worst governing body on earth? Most incompetent, out of touch, arrogant?
Thoughts please.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
I fail to see what any of these comments mean or have anything to do with this article!?! Please enlighten me as I am aware that I’m challenged however did not realize to what extent. Also, do I need some cutesy, cool little moniker to participate here? As for my thoughts on the current state of the WSL… it is pathetic and I believe the need a complete corporate restructuring. I sincerely hope the rumored new CEO is up to the task although I’m sadly I’m not that optimistic.
If you’re after some attention, maybe just buy the Wife some flowers.
Ah, Mr. Negatron, so you’re saying I do in fact need some cutesy, cool moniker to comment on here. Merci beaucoup Monsieur, merci beaucoup.
cheers cunt
unlike the WSL, will you forecast the hanging Negs?
I broke that news! that’s Ok. I’m a giver. season total 17+ inches at the KTYD tower. 4 inches last night. you OK?
Sorry if I’m late to the party on this one.
After declaring a mental health break, and a leave from the tour. Why is Pip back in the booth commentating about the surfers, and waves at Sunset. Talking about his trips planned for a year off, etc. Guessing he’s got sponsor obligation’s to show up in some fashion?
Is this not asinine?
Betting his appearance is the sole reason live comments were off.
Anyone watching the cast notice the text font of the sticker on Pamateer’s yeti water bottle, looked like the word “Fuck” not Flick?
I’d like to “fuck” Flick.
hahaha, here to help.
amsterdam is ok, but the amount of pungent ganja smoke constantly clouding the air here puts the dam to shame.
now DAT would be a great set of pics…there’s so&so imbibin!
until today, I thought Felipe had been stricken by fear and a tingle in the tummy.
however, now you release the real news….that he had “phantom food poisoning”.
he is lucky to be alive and must be as strong as a lion, as phantom food poisoning is possibly the worst thing in the world next to phantom monkeypox and can turn your brain to mush until you wither away into rotted oatmeal.
it’s been said that Joe Biden is one of the only persons to ever survive phantom food poisoning….barely.
So true. Such precise data. However.. I Wisdom Tooth Abscess requires a gag.
It’s all my fault I take full responsibility
no me; when i posted Phildo is a ++++do.
,missed most of today on a nice trip round the east coast catching some indigenous history and a few rays. pulled up at the contest site just after the last heat wrapped. parked up next to Italo and his crew, he was being super nice to passers by etc, full of energy and smiles, so i assume he made it through.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I’m more interested in what you did the rest of the day?
Highli Pop M M
Nuʻuanu Pali Lookout and Kalama for a swim, Giovannis Shrimp and some other stops. travelling with non surfers.
I prefer the company of non surfers.
You see and learn so much more.
Keep the updates coming!
Fuckkkk the contest
pics of “be still my raging heart” v. 3D glasses on a big screen where splashes are like a Jackson Pollack painting in sequences with lil men swimming like turtles, skis are whirling, boards in motion and tight turn, a quick barrel…AND WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK!
oysters, coho, poke, and haibut from Giovanni’s in Monterey Bay. Their shrimp is from Mex, BTW. size 10?
Good chit.
we where wondering what the story was with the shrimp. you can’t fall over without hitting a garlic shrimp truck.
might have been Bubba’s?
well, they were the best in the bizz.
I feel like all of these comments are just from trolls and not genuine
questions! But yours has a vague resemblance with an intelligent
question… sort of. I mean, you can spell and have legible sentence
structure. But your question… I hope this is just another troll
question. Otherwise, you need to get a serious clue! You’re on a public
beach. ANYONE is allowed to use it at any time! So no, you are not
allowed to make rules that they aren’t allowed to be there when you are.
And no, I’m not a professional advice columnist… but that answer is based on good ol’ common sense! :p
I am a normal human being. most of the time.
Jen See archives…
mom called. bro’s have the virus. let’s call ’em in da am~:Ryan: “So the shrimp went thru?”
Their business, they can do as they please.
The status of their champions can be guaged by their market value- in an apparently collapsing business model circling the wagons could help them out?
Look at it this way , as a surfer interested in watching surfing they supply plenty of visual content.
Most complaints involve things other than the surfing so hit the mute button.
If you are still complaining your motivations are not about surfing so why should any surfer care?
The problem is not the surfing or the surfers , interesting and as motley a crew as they are, it is that people cannot workout how to make enough bucks out of it sustainably.
got 4 responses, but N. Korea caught my eye. and Rodman and, Occy, and the AFTER PARTY turning midnight? Biltmore or Chateau de Mormante?
snowboard…dubai?
Augusta/Margaret river Shire offices run a close second for incompetence and inability to manage money
ladders or picnic baskets? wine glasses? red sun glasses…
In the age of the internet, censorship is necessary in order to steer the opinion of NPCs in the desired direction. The herd follow each other, but in the absence of freedom of speech they will simply revert to the mainstream narrative because they lack the critical thinking skills to form their own opinion.
DJ Shadow
Obviously, sampling someone else awesome.
You have fine taste sir
Still here it every time I see your name
Most anyone who declares themselves to be the governing body of some group of people who were never consulted, and never asked to be governed, is a shitbag.
The absolute worst. Their website seems designed to drive traffic away!!
Xox
What shit article with a fucking lousy stab at Filipe Toledo to garner attention for your distain for the WSL, its operational and management changes. You’re a two bit piece of shit, sucking the ass of any advertiser to draw in the readers like myself concerned with a surf legends mental status. Your a shit writer and really suck as a human being
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
You new here?
That’s a good effort. I was driving to Adelaide this one time a few years back, and we stopped at a toilet block on the highway. Went into the stalls to discover someone had just pulled down their pants bent over and shat at the toilet from some distance hitting a long line of loose shit from the toilet up the wall to the ceiling. Imagine the projectile power to accomplish such a feat. To cap it off they had dumped a whole roll of toilet paper in the bowl and walked off without flushing. Probably didn’t even wipe their arse. Amazing. I think you wouldn’t know but it gets hot out that way and it had dried on to the wall like an abstract art installation.
Anyway, not to deride your effort – it looks like you have a terrible diet.
Poo is Wee!
Party Poo Wee-te
In the desert of Idaho, we stopped for the night to camp. No one was around, just cows. They had one of those pit toilets.Inside the pit was a poo-cano, the peak rising 3-5 ft from the depths, and only a handful of shits from rising up to meet one’s own quivering sphincter. I guess the dry air turned one’s #2 into a quick-drying brown mortar, allowing it to withstand the weight of the next shit, and the next, and the next, and the next. Millions of years ago, this same geologic process gave birth to Hawaii.
I love hearing geological facts like that. This is no fact, but I reckon, if you dig down to the bottom of all those eons of solidified poopoo, you’d find the bedrock is a thick solid layer of dinosaur poopoo.
EDIT: added extra poo to poos
You love Dump!!
black gold. Texas tea. still a reliable source of power. no matter what the opposition promotes. i can drive 65. but at my age long trips are in the past. bowel control. well with an EV I MUST stop every 60 miles. or 30 miles, just to crank up the diesel generator in the my trunk. Carrying my own roll of TP is also a must. Will you read this later?
Stay classy Pete!!
Drunk man’s rainbow.
Toledo is retarded.
Your house is a mess mate
I think it’s Pip’s toilet at Pipe.
*Food Poisoning. Gross.
Back to the Inertia please
I detect a trace of bitterness in your comment. In the future, please count to ten and take a deep breath before posting here.
i am an epidemiologist. where was your last meal BowelBeachNative?
JMD’s profile pic is worse
Hi Ricardo.
Welcome to BG, now fuck off.
*You’re a shit writer, too!
JMD only needs one good comp day out of 10 to keep her curse hammer down
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
that was awkward
https://x.com/Teslaconomics…