Channel Islands team rider Dane Reynolds
exhibits stunning acting skills in hilarious new board promo.
Channel Islands astounds surf watchers by
releasing funniest skit since Doped Youth!
By Chas Smith
Introducing the Small Wave Support Group.
Channel Islands is as blue
chip a surf brand as there ever was. Fine boards from the
mind, though the hands, of the legendary Al Merrick that made Kelly
Slater a household name and the tri hexagon logo a symbol of
desire, of excellence. That heritage passed down to son Britt who,
along with Channel Islands’ rider-owners, has continued to push
innovation and style.
Three years ago, Britt Merrick and senior members of the Channel
Islands management team, employees and teamriders bought back the
Channel Islands brand from Burton snowboards.
“We look forward to the day when CI returns home to the Merrick
family, and we know the brand will be in good hands with Britt
Merrick, Scott Anderson and the dedicated employees and teamriders
at Channel Islands,” said Burton owner Donna Carpenter.
Peak cool.
But who imagined the team at Channel Islands had the capability
of delivering the funniest surf skit since Adam Blakey’s Doped
Youth?
No, not me but here we are and watch this gorgeous shot over
Filipe Toledo’s bow.
Teahupo’o, here we come.
And, in case you missed it twenty years back, a little flashback
to Doped Youth.
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The Elstons.
Son of surfboard shaper shocks world with
sledgehammer performance at snowboard spectacular Natural
Selection!
By Chas Smith
U Can't Touch This.
Stage Two of Natural Selection ran today from
the Revelstoke backcountry and curb stomped our besieged World Surf
League. Again. It was a better day of action, smoother, more fun,
exciting, deserving of superlative made all the more amazing
considering the camera feed went to hell three-quarters of the way
through. Even still, no line was missed, the announcing team of
Todd Richards, Pat Bridges, Ed Leigh, Leanne Pelosi, Mary Walsh and
Eddie Wall honestly described the action expertly, keeping quiet
when quiet was in order, opined openly on the judging and crushed
beers in the booth at the end.
Turbo snowmobiles and Rivian trucks were given away instead of
the outside possibility of one mid-size cooler and the burning
flame of a cherished, albeit absurdist, pursuit fed with
gasoline.
There was an avalanche right before the show began, chewing
through a fifth of the ridable terrain. It was pointed out by true
snowboard journalist Mikey Nixon, after my young daughter and I had
boot packed the 3/4 miles out of bounds to the venue, and described
in ways that terrify the surfing soul.
Snow ain’t whitewash.
I was in awe of the force though more in awe staring up at what
was left. What the brave few would soon come down. Watching the
finest backcountry snowboarding on film, Jeremy Jones’ Higher, The
Art of Flight, etc. can lull the dabbler into a passive sense that
we, too, can slide mountains covered in fluff. Film, of course,
flattens and, no, we cannot, too, do anything other than shriek and
dab the corners of our tear welled eyes.
Norway’s wizard Torstein Horgmo dropped first followed by
multi-time Canadian Olympic and X-Game gold medalist Mark McMorris.
The entire draw was filled with legends, both of lore and
mainishstream success. Making it to Natural Selection a badge of
honor that trumps other accomplishments. The riders might get the
aforementioned Rivian or sled but what they really go for is the
respect of their fellow travelers. The hoots from the tiniest
handful of people on earth who actually know what a graceful line
down the face of insanity means.
The ride of the day to my eye, a sledgehammer dropped by one of
our own adjacent. Jared Elston, from Bend, Oregon, is the son of
Simon Elston, and Australian shaper who crafts boards for the likes
of Gerry Lopez. Elston, the boy, is one of the younger in the draw,
making his run that much more incredible. Riding Travis
Rice-approved mountains, knowing when to bob, when to weave, when
to fly, takes years upon years of experience. Elston, only 25 years
in the pocket, not only lived but danced.
Jared Elston, yikes. Photo: Tom
Monterosso/Natural Selection
The pen below, and its legends, exploding in a roar, when he
slid in at the end.
Elston will be moving on to Stage Three, or the finals, which
will air April 4th, and,
as a surfer, you should tune in and cheer him to victory.
It wasn’t an easy ride for the Cardiff-based writer and
director, trawling through hours of Lisa Andersen’s ex-boyfriend
videos of the pair, mowing through editors, navigating the
conflicting approaches of his v Roxy’s, deadlines that existed in
only an ephemeral form, Smith getting his nourishment almost
entirely from soft drinks, and a budget that quickly evaporated as
Smith spent American dollars as if it were Italian lire.
Now, that same surfer, that same icon, the almost fifty-five
year old Lisa Andersen, has listed a “big part” of her surfboard
collection. Andersen would prefer a whale with a brick of cash
buying ’em all but, if necessity demands it, will negotiate with
minnows seeking one or two boards.
In January, Lisa Andersen, who became the face of clothing giant
Roxy in 1993 one year before her four-pack of world titles and who
is credited with popularising boardshorts for women, was exited
from the famous brand.
Among a roll call of surfing greats commenting on the sudden
termination, Pottz stood out with the forthrightness that made him
a beloved member of the WSL broadcast roster.
“I saw this coming years ago, why do you think I disappeared
from something we helped build. Surfing or should I say pro surfing
is dead. So sad.”
In stunning overnight gambetto, Japan
announces Australia’s Connor O’Leary will surf for Rising Sun in
Olympics!
By Chas Smith
Let the games begin.
Japan has officially thrown its kasa into the five
rings. Overnight, in a stunning move that will certainly
have surf fans of geopolitical theater cackling, the Land of the
Rising Sun announced that Australia’s Connor O’Leary will surf for
its Olympic squad in Tahiti. The current world number 10 joins
Huntington Beach’s Kanoa Igarashi and Chiba’s Reo Inaba on the
stacked team that will certainly be a medal favorite at the “Cave
of Skulls.”
Taking to Instagram, O’Leary declared, ““So excited to
officially announce that I will be representing Japan at the Paris
2024 Olympics. Thank you to the NSA & the JOC for the incredible
opportunity. Tahiti here we come.”
The aforementioned surf fans of geopolitical theater were
shocked due to the fact that Japan gets to field three surfers, on
the men’s side, instead of two. Brazil, of course, won an extra man
slot, which will go to Gabriel Medina, after the nation of Order
and Progress placed highest at the just-wrapped International
Surfing Association’s World Surfing Games. Japan, everyone forgot
and/or never knew, apparently won a bonus place for placing highest
at some 2022 Huntington Beach competition.
Will the draw possibly set, which country is the official
favorite heading into the July/August extravaganza? Brazil does
have Medina, as mentioned, and Joao Chianca though the charger has
been injured since a dramatic wipeout at Pipeline. It also sports
Filipe Toledo who is scared and defensive. Like a recently bathed
gerbil. The U.S. has John John Florence and Griffin Colapinto but
that’s all. Australia, also shorted, has Jack Robinson and Ethan
Ewing.
Japan, with Igarashi, Inaba and O’Leary has to be
favorite adjacent though a brewing battle as to who is the “face” of
Japanese surfing might undo the team like it has the
great boy bands of old.
*NSYNC etc.
No?
Discuss.
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Kelly Slater, tour truant, trolled at
Kirra.
Tour truant Kelly Slater accosted by
Instagram troll at Kirra
By Derek Rielly
“You’re not that flat-earther are ya?”
One of the better online trolls is the Australian Willem
“Powerfish” Ungermann whom we last celebrated three years ago
for his brave attempt to smash surfing’s “entrenched homophobia and
patriarchal power structures” via beach theatre and Jackass-style
pranks.
Willem Powerfish, wearing a Mexican wrestler’s mask and
full-body lycra, terrorised a D-Bah line-up on his bodyboard, at
one point accepting a beach fight only to drop to his knees and
tell his surprised fellow duellist,
Between waves, he said to one surfer “I fucked a bloke like you
once”, another, “You’re lucky my dad Rex isn’t here, he’d smash
your pelvis”, another, “Heard of the Bra Boys? We’re the Flatty
Boys. Instead of going around bashing cunts, we fuck ’em”, another,
“You know why I like surfing? When guys wear wetties and I can see
their dick”, another he asks if he’s seen Ross Clarke-Jones’ cock
and says, “I’ve fucking sucked it dry.”
“Typical Aussie attitude, sit on your ass and watch.”’
“There is plenty of things you can do to help a human in
distress or a life threatening situation than filming it!! Put
yourself into action in any way you can help build a community
quickly not content!!”
Terrific fun and many important messages.
Now, and after accosting anti-flat earther and tour truant Kelly
Slater in the lineup Willem bellows, “You’re not that flat earther
are ya?
