“You’re not that flat-earther are ya?”
One of the better online trolls is the Australian Willem “Powerfish” Ungermann whom we last celebrated three years ago for his brave attempt to smash surfing’s “entrenched homophobia and patriarchal power structures” via beach theatre and Jackass-style pranks.
Willem Powerfish, wearing a Mexican wrestler’s mask and full-body lycra, terrorised a D-Bah line-up on his bodyboard, at one point accepting a beach fight only to drop to his knees and tell his surprised fellow duellist,
Between waves, he said to one surfer “I fucked a bloke like you once”, another, “You’re lucky my dad Rex isn’t here, he’d smash your pelvis”, another, “Heard of the Bra Boys? We’re the Flatty Boys. Instead of going around bashing cunts, we fuck ’em”, another, “You know why I like surfing? When guys wear wetties and I can see their dick”, another he asks if he’s seen Ross Clarke-Jones’ cock and says, “I’ve fucking sucked it dry.”
Last year he was slammed by surf fans after a faked drowning.
Commenters on the post went one of two ways.
“Typical Aussie attitude, sit on your ass and watch.”’
“There is plenty of things you can do to help a human in distress or a life threatening situation than filming it!! Put yourself into action in any way you can help build a community quickly not content!!”
Terrific fun and many important messages.
Now, and after accosting anti-flat earther and tour truant Kelly Slater in the lineup Willem bellows, “You’re not that flat earther are ya?
Kelly Slater responds, “You got the wrong guy.”
Essential.
https://www.surfer.com/cult…
“Kelly. How ’bout this burrito?”
https://www.sfchronicle.com…
That evil cackle made me press replay a solid 3-4 times
whether caused by the alcohol or the travel don’t know, but had a dream last night that was in a surf shop and DR was there. Wearing a royal blue long sleeve dri fit shirt w/ the BG logo on the chest like a proper salesman. Wanted to go up and say hi, love BG, etc, but was scared of the look of disappointment he would have when revealed who I was. Like, ‘hey DR, love BG, I’m Rocks L’ … and there, for a fleeting moment, would see the disappointment in his eyes — like give me LWSS or AC or Otto or DSS or Connery or Fins — anyone but Rocks. But then it would pass and he would flash a fake smile and say how much he appreciated the engagement, blah , blah , blah.
Anyway, in the dream I walked out without saying anything to him. Pathetic.
Ahh mate. Been there. I saw Taj once checking the surf down at Zuma. Jumped out of a truck with Sam Mactintosh back when Stab was good right in front of me. I thought omg that’s Taj one of my favorite surfers of all time. I should get out and say hi…maybe get a photo! Then I thought about it and thought nah its too early. Then nah that’s a kook thing to do. I just ended up sitting and watching. Not weird at all. Then they jumped in the truck and took off.
I once had to tell Taj that Newport Beach police aren’t cool about open containers walking around the theater sidewalk bullshitting. Then I looked to the curb and Bruce wasn’t feeling well even though it was his film showing. Don’t recall him being introduced either. Went home and found them “playing basketball “ without dribbling or passing except maybe the weasel powder mirror. Think Andy won that one on one on one tournament, least thats what he was screaming until the neighbors had enough.
amazing those guys were able to surf at all, forget ripping, given all their hijinks and extracurriculars. Legends.
Willem surfed Waimea high on acid with Jocko and never recovered.
Next morning it’s firing. 8′ A frames for miles. My neighbor followed me down with the guys all strung out, not sure they even went to sleep.
Andy and Bruce fell asleep on the sand, Andy threw up. Taj went to put his wetsuit on, but he never paddled out. Neighbor couldn’t make it out, got caught inside for an hour. Current took him to the pier.
The entire cul de sac was thrilled that they left town that afternoon for the next stop of the Bruce Movie.
ha … I guess not legendary every day. Great story though! Thx for the behind the scenes.
They should all be given honorary world titles.
Everybody says it, but still can’t believe Taj never won a title. Surfing was so much more electric than a lot of guys who did.
welcome to my nightmare…
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
You go to surfshops?
yeah, good point, not nearly as much as the old days. Still have a soft spot for some of the local places though.
Hope that guy has good dental because one of these days he’ll troll the wrong guy and get his face rearranged.
Imagine if he slid down the wrong mud hill and ran into Parko?!
💯
Probably helps that he’s a big unit himself
That was the other possibility
friend of mine is about 5’3″ and drops some of the biggest units you’ve ever seen, with few shots.
big units are slow and usually telegraph.
beware the small quiet guys.
true that
Kelly’s backfat making him look even more like one of those hairless cats
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
What a shit cunt
The pride of Cronulla, to be certain
Must be conflicting as an Aussie if he wins no? Traitorish? or just happy he got the opportunity to make some extra sheckles?
Nope. He’s a money whore. And a whore is a whore
I agree. Money over country doesn’t sit well with me either.
seems to sit pretty well with the American GOP
Hunter used to have a DeLorean. You know the one car that sucks up the white lines off the pavement…
Is it money though or just that he wants to go to Olympics and not good enough to qualify for Aus this year?
If I look deep into his eyes all I see is Japanese yen.
Zero chance he podiums.
link doesn’t work
the video violated You Tubes “Terms of Service”
Not any more!
you tricksy little hobittses
Took out the clip of the man with bone showing in his leg. Should be ok now!
Kelly’s foot?
hip, hip, hooray
This is what BG is going to be like when Kelly officially gets knocked off tour. 2 articles a day minimum.
That all depends on if Chad gets on one of his horse beating missions. At that point you get minimum 4 articles a day about Jonah Hill, Shakira, Sasha Jane, Ashton Gargleballs, or Sam McIntosh. Chad’s bitchy-ness level (or freebies) determines the who and softness level of the pelt.