Lisa Andersen sells surfboard collection
Lisa Andersen lists surfboard collection for sale. Prefer a whale to buy 'em all but will accept offers from minnows.

Two months after shock split with Roxy, Lisa Andersen lists historic surfboard collection for sale

"A wounded bird that didn’t know where to beat its wings, an immutable sadness masked by vivacity…"

Oowee, it’s been seven years since Chas Smith made a documentary on the four-time world champ Lisa Andersen, the gal whose surfing made most male shredders look they were using orthopaedic aids.

It wasn’t an easy ride for the Cardiff-based writer and director, trawling through hours of Lisa Andersen’s ex-boyfriend videos of the pair, mowing through editors, navigating the conflicting approaches of his v Roxy’s, deadlines that existed in only an ephemeral form, Smith getting his nourishment almost entirely from soft drinks, and a budget that quickly evaporated as Smith spent American dollars as if it were Italian lire.

The result, “Lisa Andersen: Trouble”, surprised the hell out of me, the story of a wounded bird that didn’t know where to beat its wings, an immutable sadness masked by vivacity.

Now, that same surfer, that same icon, the almost fifty-five year old Lisa Andersen, has listed a “big part” of her surfboard collection. Andersen would prefer a whale with a brick of cash buying ’em all but, if necessity demands it, will negotiate with minnows seeking one or two boards.

In January, Lisa Andersen, who became the face of clothing giant Roxy in 1993 one year before her four-pack of world titles and who is credited with popularising boardshorts for women, was exited from the famous brand.

Among a roll call of surfing greats commenting on the sudden termination, Pottz stood out with the forthrightness that made him a beloved member of the WSL broadcast roster.

“I saw this coming years ago, why do you think I disappeared from something we helped build. Surfing or should I say pro surfing is dead. So sad.”

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A post shared by Lisa Andersen (@andersenlisa)

O'Leary (pictured) favoring left arm over right.
O'Leary (pictured) favoring left arm over right.

In stunning overnight gambetto, Japan announces Australia’s Connor O’Leary will surf for Rising Sun in Olympics!

Let the games begin.

Japan has officially thrown its kasa into the five rings. Overnight, in a stunning move that will certainly have surf fans of geopolitical theater cackling, the Land of the Rising Sun announced that Australia’s Connor O’Leary will surf for its Olympic squad in Tahiti. The current world number 10 joins Huntington Beach’s Kanoa Igarashi and Chiba’s Reo Inaba on the stacked team that will certainly be a medal favorite at the “Cave of Skulls.”

Taking to Instagram, O’Leary declared, ““So excited to officially announce that I will be representing Japan at the Paris 2024 Olympics. Thank you to the NSA & the JOC for the incredible opportunity. Tahiti here we come.”

The aforementioned surf fans of geopolitical theater were shocked due to the fact that Japan gets to field three surfers, on the men’s side, instead of two. Brazil, of course, won an extra man slot, which will go to Gabriel Medina, after the nation of Order and Progress placed highest at the just-wrapped International Surfing Association’s World Surfing Games. Japan, everyone forgot and/or never knew, apparently won a bonus place for placing highest at some 2022 Huntington Beach competition.

Will the draw possibly set, which country is the official favorite heading into the July/August extravaganza? Brazil does have Medina, as mentioned, and Joao Chianca though the charger has been injured since a dramatic wipeout at Pipeline. It also sports Filipe Toledo who is scared and defensive. Like a recently bathed gerbil. The U.S. has John John Florence and Griffin Colapinto but that’s all. Australia, also shorted, has Jack Robinson and Ethan Ewing.

Japan, with Igarashi, Inaba and O’Leary has to be favorite adjacent though a brewing battle as to who is the “face” of Japanese surfing might undo the team like it has the great boy bands of old.

*NSYNC etc.



Kelly Slater trolled at Kirra
Kelly Slater, tour truant, trolled at Kirra.

Tour truant Kelly Slater accosted by Instagram troll at Kirra

“You’re not that flat-earther are ya?”

One of the better online trolls is the Australian Willem “Powerfish” Ungermann whom we last celebrated three years ago for his brave attempt to smash surfing’s “entrenched homophobia and patriarchal power structures” via beach theatre and Jackass-style pranks.

Willem Powerfish, wearing a Mexican wrestler’s mask and full-body lycra, terrorised a D-Bah line-up on his bodyboard, at one point accepting a beach fight only to drop to his knees and tell his surprised fellow duellist, 

“I’ll suck you dry, mate.”

Between waves, he said to one surfer “I fucked a bloke like you once”, another, “You’re lucky my dad Rex isn’t here, he’d smash your pelvis”, another, “Heard of the Bra Boys? We’re the Flatty Boys. Instead of going around bashing cunts, we fuck ’em”, another, “You know why I like surfing? When guys wear wetties and I can see their dick”, another he asks if he’s seen Ross Clarke-Jones’ cock and says, “I’ve fucking sucked it dry.”

(Willam is also known for his philanthropy, recently delivering five thousand dollars to shoppers at a regional supermarket. Watch here.)

Last year he was slammed by surf fans after a faked drowning. 

Commenters on the post went one of two ways. 

“Typical Aussie attitude, sit on your ass and watch.”’

“There is plenty of things you can do to help a human in distress or a life threatening situation than filming it!! Put yourself into action in any way you can help build a community quickly not content!!”

Terrific fun and many important messages.

Now, and after accosting anti-flat earther and tour truant Kelly Slater in the lineup Willem bellows, “You’re not that flat earther are ya?

Kelly Slater responds, “You got the wrong guy.” 


Mick Fanning makes eco-surfboard.
"Yes, you heard that right," says Mick Fanning of groundbreaking foam surfboard.

Mick Fanning proves environmental bona fides with release of “groundbreaking” eco-softboard

"I'm Mick Fanning and I've got some great news for anyone passionate about saving the planet."

Just days after announcing the termination of his multi-decade contract with Red Bull, Mick Fanning has proved his environmental bona fides with an earth-friendly foam surfboard, putting him alongside another great eco-warrior Kelly Slater.

Kelly Slater’s latest crusade to save the world, his other green-projects include making wave pools in desert communities and a clothing brand, is the “sustainable and performance driven” footwear brand Klly, which makes eight-nine dollar sandals that can “stand up to the rigors of daily wear and outdoor adventures and at the same time, helps to reduce the environmental impact of the fashion industry.”

“I think about big things in the world a lot and for me it’s difficult to see and be ok with it. When you become aware of something but then you don’t know how to fix it, that’s when it becomes frustrating,” Kelly Slater told Tracks.

“I try and raise awareness with social media. I wish there was more time for myself to be able to just focus only on that. All the rivers in my hometown right now have completely been destroyed by the sugar cane and fertilizer industries. All the fish in the river outside my house just died, every single fish. The whole river is completely filled with floating fish right now, for miles and miles and miles. It’s the saddest thing you will ever see. I have just seen pictures and it makes me wanna cry.”

Mick Fanning’s gift to the environment is the “first-ever softboard to be certified as a level 1 eco-board by @sustainsurf.”

“Yes you heard that right,” reads Mick Fanning in a piece to camera.

“Hi there, I’m Mick Fanning and today I’ve got some great news to share with anyone who’s passionate about surfing and saving our planet.

“As surfers we have a unique connection to the ocean etc.

“We’re the first to see the changes in the ocean and it’s our duty to protect the waters etc.”

Mick Fanning isn’t entirely new to the green game.

He has parlayed his millions into a wildly diverse series of environmentally gentle businesses including “ethical” dog food brand Scratch, biotech company Sea Forest, a burger chain Fritzenberger and a Byron Bay yoga studio.

Yang Siqi, surf Olympian
Yang SIqi, fourteen-year-old surf Olympian, inset, and get psyched CCP poster.

Chinese Reds pour millions into surfing as 14-year-old prodigy Yang Siqi qualifies for Paris 2024

The Chinese Communist Party have left no stone unturned, no child unexamined, in their quest for Olympic surfing greatness.

The commies sure do like a slug of international prestige and the Olympics is to dictatorships and totalitarian regimes what fentanyl is to the vagabonds of San Francisco. 

Hitler in ’36, testosterone-fuelled East German gals and Russians filled to the gills with steroids in the eighties. There ain’t greater proof of an idealogical superiority than domination in world sport. 

And the Chinese Communist Party, rulers of the most resilient one-party state in the world, have left no stone unturned, no child unexamined, in their search for Olympic greatness, in whatever form it comes even surf. 

Under the tutelage of the world’s first pro surfing champ Australian Peter Townend and former Team Japan coach South African Wade Sharp, the westerners have taken kids who’ve never seen the ocean and helped produce China’s first-ever surf Olympian, the fourteen-year-old prodigy Yang Siqi, often miswritten as Siqi Yang.

She ain’t Caity Simmers yet but Yang Siqi draws a good line, hits the lip pretty square, can throw the tail and ain’t so far off landing straight airs.


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A post shared by Siqi Yang (@siqiyang24)

Yang Siqi, who’ll be the youngest surf Olympian in the field, began surfing in 2018 and will be thrown to the wolves at Teahupoo for the four-day Olympic event which runs over four days during a nine-day window beginning July 27.

The Chinese have thrown three million American dollars at Paris 2024, up from a mill for Tokyo in 2020.

The money is used to train hundred of kids, taking ‘em on surf trips around the world, five months in total in 2023, and buying ‘em all boards from the best American and Australian shapers including the legendary Jason Stevenson although, mysteriously, none by the world’s greatest shaper Johnny Cabianca. 

Inspirational etc.

@peoplesdaily_renminribao Yang Siqi made a breakthrough for China after securing her Olympic berth at the #WorldSurfingGames in Arecibo, #PuertoRico, on Friday. Yang, 14, will be the first Chinese surfer to compete in the #OlympicGames since the sport made its debut at the #TokyoOlympics ♬ original sound – People’s Daily 人民日报