Video of Orca killing Great White
"The Orca will come in, and they’ll typically grab it from the pectoral fin, then they’ll give it a good shake — viciously, violently, very, very hard — and when you’re underwater you can actually hear the shark ripping, and it sounds like Velcro being ripped apart."

“Distressing” video shows Orca killing Great White in surprise attack!

"When you’re underwater you can actually hear the Great White ripping, and it sounds like Velcro being ripped apart."

Tears yesterday after a heart-wrenching video did the rounds of a beached Great White near where Queenslander Rob Pedretti was killed by a Great White in 2020.

Again, tears are flowing after footage emerged of an Orca destroying, I think is an appropriate description, a Great White.

 

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In an assault with more might and surprise than a US Navy SEAL team stoppin’ by Bin Laden’s Islamabad compound at two am during iftar, a grandma Orca has created the ultimate surfer snuff film by cleaving a Great White shark in half.

This Orca resembles a famished Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors sprung from her clay pot and given a clear path to the buffet line.  

The shark is trolling the water almost listlessly (eerily similar to how  a surfer would sit on his board waiting for a set wave) when the Orca strikes.

Next scene is a piece of the Great White’s head in the Orca’s mouth after her family has been served helpings. 

Does it give a little thrill to watch the specter that haunts us get mauled by its own method, the surprise attack?

A high school bully finally getting his ass kicked by that silent giant who sits quietly in the back of the class and  just snaps one day. 

Does it feel good knowing we got something out there that might bail us out of a visit to the multiple incisor line as long we ain’t got family that worked at Sea World?

The Orca, or Killer Whale, has long held the liver of the Great White as a prized delicacy.

How they get to it is fascinating. The orca makes a small tear near the liver or heart and then “sucks the son of a bitch out.”

“When they come in after they’ve debilitated a shark, whether that’s a ‘karate chop’ or ramming, then they tend to try and flip it upside-down, and that induces tonic immobility, and then the shark basically becomes catatonic, and it’ll just lie there,” explains Doctor Ingrid Visser, who founded the Orca Research Trust in 1998.

“And at that stage the Orca will come in, and they’ll typically grab it from the pectoral fin, then they’ll give it a good shake — viciously, violently, very, very hard — and when you’re underwater you can actually hear the shark ripping, and it sounds like Velcro being ripped apart.

“And then they’re going for the liver, and that’s the real thing they’re targeting — it’s the liver that they’re after.”


Kelly Slater as Jimmy Slade. Smoldering.
Kelly Slater as Jimmy Slade. Smoldering.

All eyes on surf great Kelly Slater as Fox announces Baywatch reboot!

Jimmy Slade, is that you?

The world’s greatest surfer, Kelly Slater, is far past his competitive prime. Oh, what he has achieved over the course of a 45-year professional career, winning 11 championships, an Eddie, 8 Pipe Masters etc. will likely never be eclipsed though, like many athletes, he has hung on too long and as a still very handsome 56-year-old will never win another heat.

What, then, should he do?

Rumors floated that he was angling to be coach of the U.S. Olympic surf team over certain objections. But imagine him bobbing in that channel boat, watching, Billy Stairmand et. al. thread Teahupo’o, a wave he himself has conquered 5 times. Torture. It would be a pure torture more excruciating than the Dune pain box or getting stung on the testicles by a scorpion.

What, then, else?

Slater watchers know that he needs the spotlight and so a quiet fade into obscurity is not in the cards. Likewise, entering the World Surf League booth would be a hefty step down, singing and dancing for 15,000 fans. Moving full time to his new Abu Dhabi facility might seem fun for a minute, and he would certainly be feted, but as someone who has spent enough time in the United Arab Emirates, the thrill quickly wears off.

Enter Fox.

The right-leaning television network has just announced that it is bringing a reboot of the 90s hit Baywatch back to the small screen.

Per Variety:

Fox and Fremantle have tapped Lara Olsen (“Spinning Out”) to serve as showrunner for the new “Baywatch,” which was originally created by Michael Berk, Douglas Schwartz and Gregory J. Bonann. Starring David Hasselhoff, “Baywatch” originally ran from 1989 to 1999 and then was retooled as “Baywatch: Hawaii” from 1999 to 2001.

Olsen, Berk, Bonann and Schwartz will serve as exec producers on the one-hour drama, which comes from both Fremantle and Fox Entertainment. Here’s the new logline: “Daring ocean rescues, pristine beaches, and iconic red bathing suits are back, along with a whole new generation of Baywatch lifeguards, who navigate complicated, messy personal lives in this action-packed reboot that demonstrates there’s the family you’re born into and the family you find.”

Besides Hasselhoff, the show’s cast over the years included Pamela Anderson, Yasmine Bleeth, Alexandra Paul, Erika Eleniak, Nicole Eggert, Parker Stevenson and many others. Hasselhoff also starred in a spinoff series, the private eye drama “Baywatch Nights,” which aired from 1995 to 1997. “Baywatch” was a syndication sensation, airing in more than 145 countries at one point, more than any other TV show. The series’ PR company even made up a stat, calling it the “No. 1 series in the world,” which was then reprinted as fact in publications.

Left off the list of stars the show broke, one Kelly Slater, who thrilled audiences with his turn as Jimmy Slade. Handsome, brooding, sensitive and sexy, Slater was perfect in the role and a reimagining of that character at 58 would be the perfect bookend to a phenomenal career.

So good it feels destined.

Should we start an online petition demanding Slater’s casting?

Those usually work really good.


Great White at Kingscliff Beach
Beached Great White at Kingscliff Beach.

“Distressing” video shows Great White shark dying after beaching itself near where surfer was attacked and killed

"One of the locals was chased in last night by a big shark, then this shows up this morning…"

Four years back, Queensland surfer Rob Pedretti died after being attacked by a ten-foot Great White shark at Salt Beach, in front of popular holiday resorts Peppers Salt Resort and Spa and Mantra on Salt, and forty miles north of shark-attack hotspot Byron Bay.

Lennox Head-based writer Longtom described the death in the sorta poetic manner only a man who lives and surfs with the spectre of Great White attack knows.

Poor bastard had his leg ripped off in the jaws off a fired up Great White. He did not survive the attack.

Soft, wintery day. You get a lot of them around here this time of year.

Warm sun, high cloud drifting in. Clean babyfood with little cats paws of wind ruffle on it. A fit wiry sixty year old would think of nothing but enjoying a little shred.

Day before the attack was a dreamy day. Head-high sets rifling down the bank. Moderate crowd. The water was stacked with bait. Slivers of cut glass in the morning sun. A yellowtail kingfish the size of a small pony swam straight past me. Crystal clear water.

There’s no safety in that. We’ve learnt the published guidelines on avoiding White shark attacks are straight up BS. They like clear water, sunshine, small surf. The mistaken identity theory was the first casualty. White sharks, we learnt, are curious to aggressive.

What makes a looker, into a circler, into a bumper then a biter we don’t know.

Neither will Rob Pedretti or his buddies that tried to drag him in after the attack. The attack happened around ten am.

Paramedics were there by 10.40. The police cat scrambled from Tweed Heads, went out the bar, turned south, went past Fingal headland, then Kingscliff creek and the rocky reefy corner of the coast before it got to the open stretch of beach in front of a series of resorts and a new suburb called Casuarina.

That took just under an hour. Rob was already gone by then.

Under a blue sheet on the beach, soul hopefully transporting to a more peaceful place.

Yesterday, on the same stretch of sand, a Great White shark, ten feet or so, beached itself.

“A crazy site this morning down the road. Word has it one of the locals was chased in last night by a big shark, then this shows up this morning. We reckon potentially was chasing bait fish in close through the gutter then beached itself. Never a nice site seeing any animal washed up, even if it is a gnarly white!”

 

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In one of the greater ironies, a rescue crew from the nearby Sea World, itself a watery prison for marine mammals, tried to shove the Great White back out to sea, eventually failing, must’ve been sick etc.

The irony wasn’t lost on anyone.

Sea world “rescue” crews. Meanwhile keeping countless animals in captivity..

And forcing dolphins to work for treats, pimping them out for their “animal adventures” where people pay hundreds to swim with them.

Obvious questions, I suppose: are you distressed by the vision of the Great White in the paws of the tractor or are you of the mind that a fish if a fish ergo what’s the prob?

 

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Gabriel Medina and Charlie Medina
Gabriel Medina following epic win at Olympic qualifier and, inset, back when the ol team was back together.

Estranged father of Gabriel Medina breaks silence three years after acrimonious split!

“I love you, we are together forever.”

In the northern hemi winter of 2021, the surf world was torn asunder when Gabriel Medina split, in a professional as well as a private sense, from his mammy Simone and his step-daddy Charlie Serrano.

Charlie was the ubiquitous, unsmiling, ever-supportive pillar behind his equally taciturn looking son.

The split was driven, it was said, by Gabriel Medina’s surprise marriage to actress and model Yasmin Brunet, whom Medina has since divorced.

“They have always lived through Gabriel’s career. Imposing discipline, giving strength and controlling everything closely. Now, he is no longer a boy and shares his life with his wife. It is undeniable how passionate they are,” said a friend.

The millionaire three-time world champ slashed his mammy’s five gees a month allowance down to three-and-a-half, and Simone and Charlie sold the fabled Gabriel Medina Institute in Maresias, which they got in the breakup deal, for around two-mill US.

Charlie and Simone got a house in a lux condo and the not so flashy joint they lived in before Gabriel got his first title.

Simone also got a little under a million US in cash.

Gabriel got to keep the six-unit luxury condo he developed with Charlie and a house in the middle of a forest where he now lived, briefly, with Yasmin and a dozen adopted dogs.

Following the split with his parents Gabriel got back in touch with his real daddy, Claudinho, whom he installed in one of his houses.

Simone and Charlie, meanwhile, concentrated on the burgeoning career of their other prodigy, Gabriel’s sister Sophia Medina. 

Shortly after, Gabriel Medina quit the 2022 tour citing the fragility of his mental health.

Now, following Gabriel Medina’s blitzkrieg in Puerto Rico, Charlie has made his first public post about Gabriel in 166 weeks. 

“Congratulations Gabriel, proud of you always, once again you wrote history, you touched us once again with your talent and determination, the gold is on the way, keep looking forward, I love you, we are together forever.”

Gabriel Medina responded with a three-pack emoji, a red love heart, a Brazilian flag and what is either a sword carrying woman in a niqab, a hard-working Asian who masks while collecting glass bottles out of trash cans for recycling or a Japanese ninja. 

At one point, Gabriel’s mama Simone dives into the comments after one fan suggested “Gabriel doesn’t need a Coach, Coach, Professor and Staff. Gabriel is unique, born ready, a Genius!!!!”

Her reply?

“A lot of talents are lost without a foundation, one house without a foundation doesn’t stand. I know a lot of families that do that for their children even though they are geniuses, and I know it’s not easy. Together we are stronger. Only we who are familia and chew the same bone know what we need one day. God bless you…”

Inspirational! 

 

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If you cannot give me three facts about this surfer, you must watch Road to Teahupo'o.
If you cannot give me three facts about this surfer, you must watch Road to Teahupo'o.

Surf fans scramble to meet new Olympians day after final tickets punched

Homework time.

The 2024 Paris Olympics just very well might be the pinnacle of competitive professional surfing. The highest of highs and now under five months away. Teahupo’o is, of course, one of the most stunning waves on the planet and will provide a fabulous stage for heroes and heroines to shine but the surf fan has some homework before the torch is lit.

Namely, who are Cody Young, Alan Quinones, Lucca Messina, and Bill Stairmand? Oh we are familiar with the World Surf League stars and starlets, the Jordy Smiths and Carissa Moores, and will be happy to see them shine but the Olympics are custom built for upsets and imagine our embarrassment when, sitting on couch with aunts and uncles, watching the action when one of them asks, “Who’s Sol Aguerre?”

Faces growing hot and red whilst we attempt to mumble something that sounds reasonable while not knowing even though surf fandom has a very low bar.

Shameful.

Thankfully, the legendary filmmaker Paul Taublieb is here for us. The Emmy-award winner has just dropped Teahupo’o Surf Camp: Road to Paris 2024 on the Olympic channel. The 40-minute documentary follows hopefuls as they head to Teahupo’o in order to be coached by local Tahitian Tereva David. There, they train, surf and share their backgrounds etc. Essential and especially when the eyes of aunts and uncles are burning holes.

Enjoy here.