Ferriss trying while Hamilton (insert) instructs.
Ferriss trying while Hamilton (insert) instructs.

Life VAL Tim Ferriss taps Laird Hamilton for surf experience!

"You think you have it? Paddle again."

Tim Ferriss is a very modern phenomenon. The multi-hyphenate life hacker is always looking for shortcuts, always seeking how to “optimize” and “podcast” and “teach” the rest of us how to shortcut our way to fulfillment. It was only a matter of time, then, that the Princeton graduate turned to our surfing in order to life and hack.

In his new YouTube program The Tim Ferriss Experiment, self-described as “MythBusters meets Jason Bourne,” the lantern head’d Ferriss looks to none other than Laird Hamilton in order to play water sliding. “Sometimes in order to learn fast,” he narrates over a surf clip, “you have to slow way down.”

Hamilton, always perfect looking, is then introduced dropping wisdom as if it were crumbs from a fresh blueberry muffin. “The only thing there is, is now,” he definitively states. Ferriss’ voice returns, declaring, “one bad ass legend…” over a clip of Hamilton looking angry and barking, “You think you have it? Paddle again.” And then I stopped watching, wanting to leave various surprises etc. for you.

In general, though, how do you feel about surfing as metaphor for life? The waves keep coming, you just need to ride them, etc.? I’ll go first. I think it is lazy and shit and wish Tim Ferriss would have stuck with four hour quinoa bowls.

Your turn.

Comment live, Finals Day, MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal 2024, “Who can dethrone king of the skies Gabriel Medina?”

Pour yourself a pint of booze, unshackle fingers etc.

Stephanie Gilmore Rip Curl deal
Stephanie Gilmore effectively quits tour, walks into wild deal with Rip Curl amid wreckage of trans fallout. | Photo: Trent Mitchell/Rip Curl

Rip Curl signs Stephanie Gilmore, launches massive PR counteroffensive amid wreckage of trans misstep

"It’s an iconic deal. It’s historic," says Gilmore of an eight-year contract worth between six and ten million.

Two months after Rip Curl exploded into Bud Light-esque flames after its celebration of T-Girl Sasha Jane Lowerson, the company has launched a counteroffensive the likes not seen since Operation Uranus in World War II.

You’ll remember the calls to boycott Rip Curl after high-profile American swimmer Riley Gaines slammed Rip Curl as “crazzzyyyy” and skater Taylor Silverman wrote, “According to Rip Curl this man is a ‘waterwoman’…reality is he’s just a mentally ill man making a complete mockery of actual women and “The “community” is so supportive that Rip Curl had to disable the comments!”

Shortly after splitting with shark-attack survivor Bethany Hamilton reportedly because of her anti-trans-gals-in-sports views, Rip Curl had joined two other Australian swimsuit brands in a pivot to the queer market.

In a moving post that was later deleted,

Rip Curl described Sasha Jane Lowerson as a “West Australian waterwoman who loves the freedom found in surfing, disconnecting from the mainstream, and the feeling of dancing on constantly changing waves… It’s a state of mind, always being ready to try something new, curious to seek out knowledge and learn the rules – and break them.⁠”

Calls to boycott quickly followed and the question at the time was, how much was Rip Curl owner Kathmandu willing to lose in sales to push the trans agenda?

Well, that question has now been answered after Rip Curl signed an eight-year deal in the “multi-millions” with the recently semi-retired Stephanie Gilmore although how many multis is unspecified.

Three hundred gees a year would put Gilmore’s deal in the multi-millions, although Rip Curl did say “it is one of the biggest deals in Australian sport to date”.

I’d guess eight hundred gees a year, maybe a little more.

The eight-time champ will be forty-four when the cheques stop.

“To be able to partner with Rip Curl on a deal that not only for myself, but for women in sport is something that’s truly groundbreaking, just it feels right,” said Stephanie Gilmore.

“You can align yourself with brands for certain things but unless it really feels authentic and true to who you are, then the audience can feel that. It feels right to me, and I’m super happy with that.

“It’s an iconic deal. It’s historic. And there’s something about that, that makes me feel proud to know that I’m allowing this space to open up for the women of the next generations – and also for the companies that we’re working alongside to realise that this is a fantastic way to celebrate female athletes and it can be very healthy and successful for both of us.”

The zenith for Stephanie Gilmore’s career came in 2022 when she dominated Finals Day, starting in fifth place, mowing through all-comers before beating Carissa Moore in the winner-take-all surf-off.

photo: stridersworld
photo: stridersworld

World Surf League voice Strider Wasilewski savages employer in epic defense of tour truant Kelly Slater!

"If the waves were like this at every event (Kelly Slater) would prob still be right there going for a world title at 52 yrs old..."

The World Surf League has stumbled hard in Europe. Bad forecasts happen, of course, and blame for such should not be pinned on organizing bodies doing the very best they can except our WSL deserves all fault because it truly sucks a fatty. One thing for me to write, a vociferous, well-established and socially popular critic. Quite another for the “global home of surfing’s” best voice, Strider Wasilewski, to lay waste to his employer.

Raspberry gives his all to professional surfing at its highest competitive level, bobbing in the brine for days at a time in order to report accurate. He is loved, respected and honored not just for his surf knowledge but his ability, willingness to charge and impressively sculpted breasts.

As such, people bends an ear when he shares opinions on this or that. Most recently, Wasilewski took time out to praise Kelly Slater for ditching the lousy World Surf League Portugal event citing a false hip injury and scoring all time Australia.

Per Instagram:

What a photo… @kellyslater right where he deserves to be. That’s the first thing I thought when I saw this image. If the waves were like this at every event he would prob still be right there going for a world title at 52 yrs old and that is fucking crazy. Personally I don’t want to watch him strain himself for a good score… Rather see him surf timelessly in perfection like this. If there is an epic forecast for an event and he wants to surf, that would be epic too. Either way stoked to see my bro scoring. Surfing is the fuckin best thing ever.


Michael Schwab, son of Charles and noted extreme sport aficionado, put his polished boot on the World Surf League’s already broken neck, declaring, “Agreed! A @naturalselection Strike Mission tour could be the answer @travisrice LFG.”

Rice is currently right down the hall and I have half a mind to go ask him if he’s ready to FG and save surfing from the clammy grip of co-Waterperson of the Year Dirk Ziff.


While you’re waiting, though, feel free to listen to the latest weekly chat betwixt David Lee Scales and me. We discuss Jimbo Pellegrine’s epic fight with Mother Nature. Worth it for that alone.


Billabong and the bad old days.

Surf feminist hero Lucy Small rips Billabong over brand’s hard pivot to “busty gal marketing!”

"Where surf culture meets sex appeal."

Surf, man. From the outside, our favorite pastime, this Sport of Queens, appears a bucolic dopamine booster that fosters “good vibes.” Bobbing out in the gorgeous seas, kissed by the sun itself, being all healthy and fit and blessed. Inside, though, we all know that it is a toxic stew where no fight is too petty, no beef too small. Or big and meaningful, I suppose. Surfers will shred each other over, well, anything including, but not limited to, the usage of busty gals in marketing materials.

There was once a time, you certainly recall, when bikini contests were ubiquitous at surf affairs. Exclusively women, back then, standing on a makeshift beach stage wearing revealing swimwear whilst men, strangling warm-ish cans of Bud Light, would hoot and holler and slobber misogynist slobber.

Thankfully, culture matured and surf brands moved with the tide, sponsoring women who actually surf too.

Well, culture continued to mature, the surf brands became irrelevant and a giant New York managing firms purchased them all for a song. The houses of Quiksilver, RVCA, DC, Dakine, Billabong all under one roof. Team members shredded, t-shirts dumped into Costco and, in Billabong’s case, the mothballed busty gals rolled back out for a trot.

This time around, though, there is a surf feminist hero around to give hell and Lucy Small ain’t pulling no punches.

Taking to Instagram, the brave longboarder ripped into the onetime legacy Australian label for its overt sexism, its dribbling boorishness, pulling no punches. Small then followed with the damning “sexist cycle of sport.”

The question, I suppose, is will the Park Avenue suits listen and re-pivot to a celebration of sporting performance or double down on smut?

What would you do if you were an Authentic Brands Group executive vice president?

More as the story develops.