Cute lil joint across the road from Sunset Beach and with tentacles across Oahu valued at an astonishing $22.5 mill.
Eight years back Koa Smith, his bros Alex and Travis, and Koa Rothman, opened up a cute lil coffee and bowls joint called Sunrise Shack amid a plumeria farm and just across the road from world famous Sunset Beach.
The initial offering was pretty basic, coffees, tea, papaya bowls, but the place soon blossomed into the most popular eatery on the North Shore with its zeitgeist-y feel-good menu of wellness shots, smoothie bowls, banana bread and avocado toast.
Now, there’s Sunrise Shacks all over Oahu, Waikiki, Ala Moana Center, Kailua, Shark’s Cove as well as Sunset with predicated revenues set to hit five mill this year.
The four wildly handsome Hawaiian-born surfers and models are ambitious as hell.
And y’ain’t gonna become a billionaire by shucking coconuts across the road from Sunset the rest of your life. And, so, after valuing ‘emselves at $22..5 mill, the gang used the crowdfund portal start engine to offer shares in their biz.
One share was set at $7.50 with a minimum buy-in of $240.
A raft of bonuses were set to lure investors with anyone dropping one hundred gees on their Ohana package getting “one of the founders’ signed surfboards, a flight to Hawaii from the US to surf and have a surf lesson with one of the founders, a custom Ohana shirt, an invitation to an investor’s party on Oahu, and 12% bonus shares.”
At the close of the offering on April 16, $786,620 had been raised.
The surfers plan to use the money to expand onto the US mainland.
Koa Smith, meanwhile, a man who is widely regarded “the world’s sexiest surfer” and who ain’t afraid to bareback the biggest waves in the world, is offering seven-day online courses for anyone who might feel a little off kilter.
Smith became qualified to deliver the course after earning a certificate of completion from the charismatic faith healer Joe Dispenza.
The sell is almost as compelling as the Sunrise Shack’s share offer
“Koa Smith is a professional surfer, thirty-second famed barrel rider, entrepreneur and true showman. While his life looks idyllic from the outside; sunshine, nature, travel & nonstop adventure, he struggles to balance it all just like the rest of us.
“Through a severe head injury that left him with crippling depression, the pressure of competition and the bombardment of business demands, he realized that something needed to change. He wanted to take charge of his mental game. In turn, through extensive research and support, he developed a mental exercise routine, something that he commits to every morning.
“A routine that puts him in the driver seat before the chaos of the world even has a chance to make an impression. His mental game changed everything and now he wants to share his morning routine with you. Are you ready to transform your mental game? $37.”
Koa Smith is a genuinely likeable character who is passionate about helping people get right in the head,” reported Rees. “Maybe a grain of salt is needed to digest Koa’s program, all in good fun, etc.”
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I went there the day they first opened. Pretty funny operation. They just had a bunch of random superfood powders with no idea what they were or actually did… and just fanged ‘em into a smoothie. Had been on the piss the night before and needed something to fix me up.
Travis (pretty sure) served me and was a fkn cack when he’s gone on this tirade about the Wikipedia-spec benefits of yerba maté (while pronouncing it like ‘mate’ as in ‘friend’ rather than ‘mah-tey’). I just kept egging him on and asking him questions so I could hear him say ‘yerba mate’ over and over.
Good on ‘em. Bet they’ve had some roots, those blokes.
What no black shorts to compliment the shirt?
Koa always looks so angry, even when he’s trying to be excited.
BTW I’m looking for serious investors for my daughter’s driveway lemonade stand business.
$100K (AU) will get you the ‘Founders Pack’ of a couple of my old surf logo tshirts, a lesson in getting to the beach from my house, a free surfboard from my dusty quiver of kerb-side patched-ups, and a free lunch including a free cup of tea and a free refill!
all i see are nips…
Fundrise Hack
I thought it was an add for a transperson jungle retreat?
Turns out to be aging pro surfers money grabbing
Awesome ….
my wife is a qualified Psy with 25 yrs experience and 4 degrees, extensive work with military and sportsmen and women, I’m starting to think she is overpriced at 80€ now I see someone with as much talent as koa is only 36 bucks,, what has she been thinking ?
how much for a letter to the County and diagnosis that vertigo prevents me from serving on a jury box?
arm and a leg 🙂
The Smith bro’s are valuing their own company slightly higher than what Wall Street is currently valuing Laird’s “Superfoods!”. (22 v 20 million)
Laird, however, is looking to do $40 million in mushroom supplement sales this year.
Smith bro’s, about $5 million in papaya bowls and toothy smiles.
dna & drug tests & AM photo shoot. no hit^run? proof positive r’ us…need volume?
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
What can you say, fat mainlanders will buy anything to feel better.
Buy 12 pack, feel better, then fatter, then sadder. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
He should just lean into his non cis ness.
I’m not sure why, but when people start “practising mindfulness”- I tend to check the fuck out. If they start to say they are working on their “mental game” I tend to be checking out at speed as I’m running the fuck away from the wanker or wankette. All for everyone having a good head clear regularly, but I’m not about charlatans shilling for well-being and telling people how to relax for big money.
Finding a path back mental well being and dodging snake oil salesmen is really tricky, and it further erodes your faith in mankind. So much praying on the vulnerable going on it’s fucked.
Xox
I just watched some thing online about moms who microdose. Might get on that bandwagon.
Risky business but whatever keeps the house in order!
Xox
If you read the offering memorandum, you’ll realize how absurd this is. They are losing money every year and have no path to profitability. The have hundreds of thousands of dollars in “private loans” at 12%. I’m sure said “private loans” came from some of these guys themselves – and their rich friends. They did this offering to fleece the little guy and make sure they get their money back from loans that could barely be repaid. But hey, as long as the investors get their “Today is a Good Day” tee shirts, I hope they’ll be happy.
Where do I send my money for one of those tshirts?
It’s in the “Terms”.
Makes you wonder how many “investors” actually read the Terms, beyond all those goofy “Bonus Shares” incentives.
“Irregular Use of Proceeds
The Company might incur Irregular Use of Proceeds that may include but are not limited to the following over $10,000: Vendor payments. Salary payments made to one’s self, a friend or relative. Any expense labeled “Travel and Entertainment”. Inter company debt or back payments.”
So all their surf trips could be “travel and entertainment.” Didn’t realize Koa (pick either) was this capable of cynical grifting, or any type of foresight, for that matter, but here we are.
The “Forward Looking Information Legend” in the Terms is quite a read. The kicker is no obligation to revise or update anything they’ve said about valuation, no matter how things proceed during the expansion efforts.
Investors act surprised when their money disappears in the exact manner the crowd funded company warned it most likely would. Too funny
Miki Dora 2.0 this is
any business where the owner’s fleecers don’t actually work in there is risky,,,
Crowdfunding only worked with Silicon Valley startups.
CrowdFund absolves themselves of all liability. The Crowd Funded company dictates Terms that should make any savvy investors conclude it so risky it’s prohibitive.
Under promise, over deliver. But they don’t.
Today is a good day after reading your comment.
Read further and you’ll see that momma Smith and daddy Smith run accounting and marketing for free right now.
I’m also assuming they used this platform because a real business valuation didn’t give them a number they wanted to hear. Or… A real accountant didn’t want to touch it with a ten ft pole
On the plus side, the last time I was in the Sunset Beach location the cute girls working the counter pretty clearly didn’t own a bra between them.
If I never see another aciaì bowl or Gary Busey V² it’ll be too soon.