"You were no Slater. You were Florence."
Yesterday came the unsurprising news that John John Florence, the two-time world champ and most favoured to win this year’s Olympic gold medal at Teahupoo, was, according to a well-placed source, set to retire following the season finale at Lower Trestles in September.
John John Florence, who is the proud daddy to newborn Darwin and husband of model turned horticulturalist Lauryn Cribb, will busy himself with business duties surrounding his eponymous brand FLORENCE, which now employs middle brother, the surfer of the year Nathan Florence, and, most importantly, enjoy the brutally short time on earth we have with our children.
In this, the 100th episode of Chas Smith Hates Surfing, Chas salutes the glittering career of John John Florence
“One thing I would love to do with surfing is retire from it,” says Chas. “I would retire from surfing, not as an old man, aged and broken, I would like to retire from surfing in my prime.
And that is what we have John John Florence doing. He has thrilled since he was a pint-sized tow-head packing barrels at Pipeline. An impressive young man who grew into an impressive older man.”
But, says Chas, “When people retire in their prime, who’s to blame? I think we know who’s to blame. The World Surf League.”
Essential.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Back in the 1970s, most people died in their 30s.
But Chas, I thought you did retire in your prime. You know, when you pulled out of that left early at Surf Ranch. Even the guy on the wave runner was surprised by your retirement announcement.
100th episode lol. Also, who cares about going out on top?? Only players for the Detroit Lions do that, and we all know why.
Given the amount of prize money on offer you can’t blame him for bailing.
He can make more money, travel less by dropping a minute 30 YouTube vid once a month
Chaz’r looks like your hair dresser retired..
He’ll be back next year, only on the women’s tour as Jo Jo Flo
Throw in a few suicide references and you’ll be the Tony Bourdain of surfing!!!
ooofff…too soon, still
Come on Chef, he mentioned himself dying or his suicide at least twice per ep
just never thought he’d actually go there, seemed to have it too good.
I was certain of it
Having tested a pair of Florence boardies vs a pair of outerknown boardies that I haven’t tried because I’m not that stupid, the Florence ones are 100% better. Which makes me just stupid. Lol
Can I get a review on Florence boards please. Yay or nay?
Mine are good. The Airtex stuff is legit as well.
I have a Florence jacket I never would have bought for myself. No complaints. Thanks Ma.
Retire that hairstyle and save the unnecessary distraction of hair loss.
Be better if he retired and rode for Dane:
1) Former WSL tour champion…
2) Former John John…
3) Former believer in creationism…
4) Former model mom…
Who’s the former believer in creationism? Surely not JJF?
Is a riff in the name of his new son.
Oh thanks goodness.
This reeks of one of those things that turn out to be wrong.
Xox
100%
I know this must be good because it’s after 7 when the alcohol replaces blood in the system. But I won’t listen, as I have enough tinnitus for all.
Did you spend many an evening pushing your Big Muff laden Jaguar lovingly against a full Orange stack also or are there other ways?
Xox
Two pillows and Frank Sinatra singing “on a clear day ” helps immensely
You two are cute xx