"The region’s surfers are becoming increasingly worried that their beloved and historical surf break may finally become overcrowded."
In a series of Malibu transactions not seen since Superbad star Jonah Hill took a shine to the thirty-click beach strip a few years back, Steve Jobs’ widow has bought up almost $200 million in oceanfront real estate in the monied, and honied, city.
Laurene Powell Jobs, who is worth fourteen billion dollars after inheriting Stevie’s stake in Apple and Disney, busted into the Malibu market in 2015 when she bought a double-parcel joint for $44 mill, swiftly bulldozing the existing house. Two years later, she bought the neighbours out for $16.5 mill and, in 2021, another neighbour for $17.5 mill.
Jobs’ latest buy is a four-acre oceanfront estate in Paradise Cove, bought off-market hence no photos, for $94 million.
Incredibly, the $94,000,000 buy ain’t the priciest sale in Malibu.
That honour goes to megastar power couple Jay-Z and Beyoncé who, last year, bought a $200 million cement bunker, designed by architect Tadao Ando, on an eight-acre parcel right there on a bluff overlooking the ocean.
At the time, concerns were raised that Malibu might become overexposed due to its colonisation by the rich and famous.
Exciting but with this new spotlight, the region’s surfers are becoming increasingly worried that their beloved and historical surf break may finally become overcrowded,” reported Chas Smith. Weekend mobs descended upon the wave as news of Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s new address, leaving locals kerflummoxed and befuddled. Longtime natives the Brothers Marshall posted a photo of the chaos, wondering if it was a sign of things to come.
Want to get into Paradise Cove but don’t got the ten-mill minimum buy-in?
Nine-fifty k will buy you this pretty trailer in the Paradise Cove mobile home park.
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The worst might be on Wall Street
+$1,519/month land rent for that trailer. bringing your grand total to $7,845/mo if financed with a 30yr 7.5% mortgage. for a 1bd/1bath in a surf ghetto
Hey VONR, Malibu died in…..?
nah, you did the opposite, much more intelligent, thing – real name with the posts, fake name with the Disqus profile.
I guess not a penny goes to Jobs’ 4 kids (3 until he finally acknowledged being then 9-year-old Lisa’s father, when a DNA test made it undeniable). Wouldn’t want to spoil them.
But his widow is fine with inheriting billions herself. She earned it. Wouldn’t want to let stated principles get in the way. She’s bought 4 Malibu properties in the past decade. It’s good to have a hobby.
Jobs was a smart, creative man in many ways — part Henry Ford, part PT Barnum. He was also the first of a long line of Silicon Valley stars who believe their own messianic bullshit.
Should have listened to the doctors and maybe he’d still be around.
Sell out of the coast you rarely get back in , that’s why it’s so expensive humanities shit is out your back door , the ocean out da front.
best thing about Malibu is 2 1/2 men pre-kulcher
Heat 2 of the BeachGrit commenter Classic
exposure. sign^intial…https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.ne…
How do they look now?
the young widows…
Yah I was wondering where all the Beach Grit kooks commenting on here all the time hang out. Look, it’s crystal clear to us hard core crew who regularly charge and rip apart heaving tropical slabs that you foul mouthed keyboard kooks are hugely overcompensating with bad language your complete lack of balls, courage and skill when confronted with pounding heavy water waves. CRYSTAL clear!
FUCK OFF CUNT
What was I just saying about overcompensating your lack of ability to charge and totally tear apart heaving tropical slabs like us hard core crew do with foul language??? Go get pounded on your inflatable surfboard mat in your “pumping” 1 foot mushburgers. Leave the heavy water to us real men, you keyboard kooks would just get our way anyway.
Suck my brown dog’s cock
Listen man, heavy water requires us to have heavy balls. I can confidently say right here and now that none of you kooks here have the mandatory heavy balls to do the damage that us hard core crew do to heaving tropical slabs. NONE of you.
Mate, if you want my comeback you’ll have to scrape it off ya mum’s teeth
Pfft, you wear a steamer in queensland. Soft!
Correction
Cats piss
*get in our way anyway.
Farrrk up cunt!
You’re that infamous cat bumhole fingerer B_______ M_________, aren’t ya.
Hahaha fuck, this is excellent.
Xox
Ha, same
*edit: see LWSS post above
We are at your mums place.
Im mid queue to be exact.
coitus inter ruptus…
Bring a paper bag
sock it and refresh/
The inertia is that way —>
I absolutely guarantee that I have paddled bigger waves than you and my dick is of adequate length and I have most definitely fucked hotter dude’s than you.
Little bitch cunt.
Xox
how many german digit to bum hole sweet eighteens
army corps built our groins…sheep skin?
welcome Cat. you sound like a delightful guy.
can we post footage?
you might be wrong in my case
i admire your innovative & bold approach, giving oneself the thumbs up on your posts. not overcompensation at all.
what’s your fave heaving tropical slab to surf Cat?
Excellent work ch! Bringing back the “eat my faeces” vibes from yesteryears! Just excellent!
HAHA
What kind of Kook sets his profile in disqus as his real name?
Post an apology to us all and i’ll delete this comment and hopefully for your sake no one will ever see how much of a tool you’ve made of yourself.
lolz
GA fears no man or surfer!
but apparently terrified of stylish sunglasses
IF only he was on the WSL tour and we could watch him in person at Lowers in September. I will try to emulate him there this weekend…
Well Cat-hound, unlike you I learned there is always someone who is possibly faster, better(looking) and richer than me. So while I don’t surf as well as you, it it obvious no one can match you(we do have a similar sized beer gut bro), lets pivot into other areas of absolute guy toughness. How about we go climb a mtn this winter and drop down a 45-55 degree couloir or maybe you bring your favorite race car to the track and we can compare track times as I doubt you have the guts to hang with me in my arenas. BTW, is your keyboard on fire after that aggressive post?
Can I call you Sir Hard Core?
In my experience its always the guys waving there dicks around about how they surf big and gnarly waves that suck the most.
Nailed it! Pick your sport, business or whatever and there are guys just like him crying out for attention. If only he had a sense of humor and acceptance of who he is so he could enjoy what BG is all about.
Usually from Santa Cruz and can’t execute proper turns under 18’
My travel experience 🙂
of course you have to take their word for it how much better they surf in REAL conditions
post photo/video of you doing a bottom turn on a heaving tropical slab
Judging from his profile he only goes to the Philippines for the skanks not the waves.
I get it now cat piss taking the piss etc
Excellent keyboard dexterity
I don’t mind not having the balls to charge heaving tropical slabs and being a hard-core tough cunt. If our our 2 x world champ doesn’t need to, then neither do i.
In the near future Malibu will be Water World. She’s buying Ocean, well super soon she’s buying ocean.
huh , the orange self confessed mushroom penis messiah has proclaimed there will only be 1/8″ of sea level rise in the next 400 years!
Humid everywhere
You believe sea level rise bwahahahhaa 🐑🐑🐑
https://youtu.be/Y9wJ2JQgMj…
Pt. Kook…. geeez.
Little Dume worse, let Beyonce have it
Striving for godless happiness!!
Fools errand.
Two tumors are talking one of them says “we should get Jobs
And equity!!