"They’re actually the most physically desirable thing a man can be at this particularly disorienting moment in American history."
San Clemente’s Griffin Colapinto certainly has stitched together “a hell of a year,” to quote the great Matthew McConaughey. Currently sitting number three in the world, the Gandhi-like 25-year-old will be Olympic-bound in July then headed to his home break of Lowers to compete for a World Surf League championship.
A very real possibility of wins at both Teahupo’o and Trestles.
He might be inclined to hire protection at those two stops to shield him from a Beatlemania-like frenzy, young and old women throwing themselves at him, men too as he is now, officially, a sex symbol.
The New York Times is reporting that “Hot Rodent Men” is the look of the season “according to the tabloids.” The piece continues, “They’re actually the most physically desirable thing a man can be at this particularly disorienting moment in American history. Exemplified by the faces of actors like The Bear’s Jeremy Allen White and Challengers leads Mike Faist and Josh O’Connor; as well as the 1975 band member Matty Healy and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker, hot ‘Rodent Men’ are a loose category that seems mostly to refer to men who look a bit like mice or rats.”
Willem Dafoe is also included in the group.
But how do you feel about this sudden revelation? When you look in the mirror are you greeted with a ratty look peering back with beady little eyes and a twitchy little nose? Pinched features and a general stink of poor morals? Count yourself lucky if the answer is “yes.”
Back to Griff, though. Colapinto has long shared his desire to be interesting, telling Olympics.com, “It’s funny, I always see people getting interviewed and it’s always so boring to me and I’m like, I don’t want to be the boring guy! I don’t want to do things like anyone else. If I have an opportunity to tell a story or something, I enjoy doing that and just show my true self.”
A fortuitous turn as “his true self” is now lust material.
Hubba hubba.
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What about the Crack Fox?
No comment…
rat fink!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Grffs mum surely went to the chocolate factory back in the day..
Rodents getting the pussy. How the tables have turned.
xox
All men eat garbage but we’re not all sexy rodent men. This guy is though:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Appllle Ciiiderr
he’s he’s… beautiful
you’re a man of refined taste & elegance
It’s my job
Have never down voted someone. Certainly not starting with you.
don’t take it as a knock on yer 1st amendment rights
The First Amendment doesn’t give you rights. You already have those rights. You were born with them. The First Amendment instructs the government what they cannot do, not what you can do.
Dont be so sensitive.
https://youtu.be/mtCIdpnQoW…
Cheer up
Its pride month
Be proud.
fuck yeah man!!! thanks carnal
Does this mean Joe Turps is hot now too? Definite lookalike there in the bottom left corner…
As seen on Beach Grat…
*Gnat
Xox
Gnat Young?
I’m sure He’s a hot Rodent Rodman man with the ladies and still needs a new coach as I wrote late from your post contest drop no one saw:
“With the super wave consistency of that place why even get close to that fag…let the Brazzo have it if he wants. So many more out there to start. There’s an inner strategy to starting at super consistent wave venues. Come on coach.”
How To Be Ghandi Like While Chasing Fame And Fortune And Trying To Be The Funnest And Being Different And Doing Special Stuff Unlike Other Special Famous People….And Not Being A Boring Guy
A short story by Griff The Sage CocaColapinto….The Choice of a New Generation
was it Rosy Hodge who got the aqua-bog post heat interview? Let it go and let it flow..
from her mouth to my………….ears.
Man…That would have been gold. I was too jetlagged to be that witty.
That is such a ridiculous statement that it almost deserves a down vote. You’re lucky I’m not that much of a scoundrel.
A simple Wikipedia search will show that rat fink had 0 abilities where Master Splinter lists Master of ninjutsu, High intellect, keen sense of smell, as well as Stealth mastery. This isn’t even a contest, Rat Fink will be lucky if all Splinter takes is his lunch money.
i was primed to win a bet and you go and tip ottzy off that’s he’s outta his fuckin’ gourd on this one
Hot rod weirdo versus an old rat that likes hanging out with teenage boys. No wonder Splinter wants to be stealthy.
hahahaha
once you see it, you can’t unsee it
Maybe now some of the nineties pros can get a free handjob from a meth addict in the dirt parking lot at Steamers.
After this many years, probably a “gummy” too.
Rat-boy?
Rat boy, rodent etc. RIP squirrel.
again, fink.
gonna be in town soon, looking for recommendations on this front
My college friends and I not only developed an anthropomorphic categorization for of people who look like birds, cats, horses, dogs, rodents, or or amphibians, we also came to recognize a predator/prey dynamic in how couples look.
Essentially, one partner will tend to look like a natural predator of the other partner.
So, a rodent man is typically seen with a bird or cat woman (look at any of these guys’ past or present wives or girlfriends).
Similarly, a hawk nosed, angularly visaged bird man will usually be seen with a woman who is a rodent (he is the predator), a cat (she is the predator), or even another bird (the partner with the biggest nose and sharpest features is the predator).
Cats and dogs, dogs and birds, birds and amphibians, etc.
The only universally compatible animal is the horse, which is why I love you and your Mr. Ed teeth, Sally Fitz
Does it work with black, brown and Asians? Or do you fear calling a black man a rat, or an Asian a yellow salamander a tad too racist for your own sensibilities.
I’ve realized that I’ve left off rabbits, but the animal kingdom can be found in any race or ethnic background https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Then your dear leader looks kinda rock spidery and his chick a maggot
Pretty mean thing to be saying about Chas, but I have on good information that he’ll jump the table and throttle you if you bring his wife into that kind of conversation
Yoo can be lead anywhere i guess.
I dunno Chas has more ferret/weasel vibes to me.
All rodents are handsome now
I thought he looks a bit like the sloth on Ice Age, but that doesn’t really look like a sloth.
Drugs.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Is this just aesthetics or does it explain relationship dynamics?
The answer is yes
What would be the immediate predator of the Goose? Asking for a friend.
The fox🦊🦊🦊.
Hopefully, for your sake, you are the goose
Right, that kinda checks-out. I see Geese prey on roots.
eject button on the f-14 tomcat.
duh.
That deserves a flyby. Buzz away.
The Minivan
That also checks-out
plenty of room for expansion. or as Mayall puts it: Room To Move
Okay anthropomorphic man what’s the deal with with the skinny guys that are with cows? That one’s always alluded the public???
vultures are predators of cows, and they’ll eat anything
Sex symbol?
What about Thought Leader?
I might be wrong but I probably inspired this ‘story’. Glad to offer creative guidance. The cheque’s in the post etc
Are you currently penning an angry letter to the NYT in critique of their “journalism”?
Oh yes. Since their ridiculously biased pro Israel stance on the Gaza conflict I’ve come to realise how much their standards have dropped.
Pulled my complaint to the NYT back after reading the full piece and not just Chas’s edited version that was likely a response to my original comment. What’s clear is that they were mocking the absurdity of the tabloids using this term. And I’m fairly certain (or at least I fucking hope) you feel the same way about the trash coming out of tabloids.