"Truly, all I want to do is provide stoke to the world."
The United States of America was pitched into heated polarized fighting, yesterday, after former first daughter Ivanka Trump posted an ode to the world’s oceans featuring herself sliding on a wake behind a boat. The leggy 42-year-old blonde captioned the tribute, “Individually we are one drop, together we are an ocean – Ryunosuke Satoro” and hashtagged it #happyoceanday.
The “Wake Sliding is Not Surfing” and “Wake Surfing is Surfing” camps immediately rallied and began taunting each other online.
Leelee5__ smashed in for Not Surfing and sneered, “Neither her or her step mom are real women. They are not role models and does any one care to see this one water skiing?”
Djmano_com, bashed in for Is Surfing, hitting with, “This is the epitome of WOKE! (If you know the real meaning) You Go Surf Gurl!”
Back and forth the two sides went even declaring the other should be locked up in federal prison.
Trump, for her part, attempted to stay above the fray, abiding by an earlier statement in which she declared, “I love my father very much. This time around, I’m choosing to prioritize my young children and the private life we are creating as a family. While I will always love and support my father, going forward I will do so outside the political arena.”
Culture watchers attempted to contact Ben Gravy, hoping the New Jersey novelty wave maestro could definitively declare if wake sliding is or is not surfing but he only responded cryptically, via Instagram, “After being out of the water with a torn bicep for almost 5 months I’ve had a lot of time to reevaluate & think about what I truly want to give to this world. There’s ups & downs in life, but if you pay attention to what the universe is trying to tell you all the answers will make themselves abundantly clear. This past week is one of those obvious reminders of how I ended up doing what I do for a living. Truly, all I want to do is provide stoke to the world.”
Troubled times.