“I have a rep. Did I earn it? Yeah, I did."

Amidst increasingly weird and wild times, the surf world came together to mourn the passing of the great actress Shannen Doherty at the too young age of 53. The Hollywood star, who became notable to surf fans during her run on Beverly Hills 90210 as the girlfriend of surfing bad boy Dylan McKay, played to the hilt by Luke Perry.

The two would often sneak away in McKay’s vintage Porsche Speedster for unsanctioned Malibu surfs.

In one episode real trouble struck when Doherty, who played Brenda Walsh, witnessed a horror surf accident.

Doherty’s publicist declared, “It is with a heavy heart that I confirm the passing of actress Shannen Doherty. On Saturday, July 13, she lost her battle with cancer after many years of fighting the disease.”

In a 2020 interview with Good Morning, America, the actress revealed that her cancer diagnosis was terminal while sharing more about her life in television/film. “I have a rep,” she gamely stated. “Did I earn it? Yeah, I did. But, after a while you sort of try to shed that rep because you’re kind of a different person. You’ve evolved and all of the bad things you’ve done in your life have brought you to a much better place.”

Perry, of course, died at the tender age of 52 after suffering a series of strokes.

Surf fans trusting they are enjoying the hereafter together.

"It's NOT FAIR!"

Australia is the most isolated continent on earth. There if floats in the southern hemisphere, counting only small-ish island nations as neighbors. Small-ish island nations and New Zealand, which also just so happens to be a small-ish island nation. It makes a certain amount of sense that those living down under have never heard of Paris’ culinary delights.

Yes, the host of the 2024 Olympic Games is teeming with the most delicious treasures. France, in general, and Paris, specifically, can be said to be top of class in force fed livers, baby cow, duck, both aged and young, eggs in crust, oysters on the half shell and coffee. Every street in the City of Light has multiple kiosks, cafes or full blown restaurants where the weary passerby can dip in and perk up with double espresso, americano or cappuccino. The French, mercifully, stuck their noses up at the third-wave coffee movement and serve theirs lightly burnt.

Delicious.

I take mine each morning near the Palais Garnier, staring up at the statue of Harmonie.

Gorgeous.

But, again, apparently unknown to Australia, which is sending foodstuffs and baristas to Paris to feed its athletes during the Games.

Per Delicious.com.au

They say that home is where the heart is. As it turns out, it’s where the Vegemite is too. Despite heading to one of the world’s food capitals, Paris, Australian Olympians will be treated to a little taste of home during their stints in the Olympic Village.

During a press conference on Wednesday, June 5, the Australian Olympic Committee announced the special touches planned for the athletes as they battle it out for gold at the Paris 2024 games.

Creature comforts like Vegemite, Weet-Bix, Four’n’Twenty pies, Milo, and a trio of travelling baristas will be available to our athletes, fuelling them with flat whites and keeping homesickness at bay.

The Irukandji surf squad, however, likely furious as there is no mention of Vegemite nor three baristas heading to “The End of the Road.” Yes, Tahiti, in general, and Teahupo’o, specifically, has… poisson cru. Poisson cru for breakfast, poisson cru for lunch and poisson cru for dinner. It is sometimes ok. Never top of class and rage, I’d imagine, in Tyler Wright’s camp as she will be undernourished while fighting a bevy of health issues.

Ethan Ewing, too, whose fine figure will no doubt suffer.

Light a candle, please.

An Olympic-sized problem?

The surf apocalypse is well and truly flourishing what with hordes of soft-toppers swamping lineups, professional surfers forced to toil under the OnlyFans yoke and now rabid seals terrorizing South African surfers willy nilly. Yes, the hearty and healthy souls who paddle into that cold Atlantic have long had to deal with the terror of great white shark, but the seal menace is far more worrying.

“I was out surfing the other day, when this seal popped up in the lineup [of surfers] to sun itself,” Gregg Oelofse, who is in charge of coastal management for Cape Town council, told the Guardian. “Usually, surfers would enjoy the interaction. But now everyone was paddling as fast as they could to get away.”

Scientists are uncertain when, or where, the seals first contracted the virus but it is causing much fear and also damage. Last month, one seal bit several surfers in a matter of minutes leaving one with “horrific facial injuries that could only have been inflicted by a seriously aggressive animal.”

It is estimated that some two million cape fur seals live in South Africa and there is no telling how many of them are struck with the foamy flu. “We really want to know the transfer rate [of the disease],” Oelofse continued, expressing concern that rabies might become endemic in the seal population or jump to other coastal mammals such as Cape clawless otters. “We’re also super-worried about what it might mean for our seals,” says. “And we really don’t want any humans to get rabies.”

The clawless otters don’t sound too scary, tbh, but Covid didn’t either, if we’re honest.

The real worry, I suppose, is the threat posed to professional surfers who have a history of contracting exotic ailments. Australian Olympian Tyler Wright comes first to mind along with Brazil’s Filipe Toledo. He will be heading to Teahupo’o in days after taking the year off to recover from mental health. The world will, of course, be rallying in his corner. Wishing for the greatest sport story of all-time to manifest in front of our very eyes.

I’m with them and if dang rabid seals get in the way….

… ugh.

I’ll, of course, be covering all the action from Paris and will be overjoyed to entertain any and all rabid athletes here. Foie gras, I feel, a sort of dark age’d antidote.

More as the story develops.